Chapter 5.8: Primadonna

Chapter 5.8 Primadonna
A/N
: Hello! We start out this chapter with a time skip and a “magazine article” to catch us all up on the gap. I originally wanted to make it look like an actual spread from a magazine, but I have no editing abilities, so you just get the “photo shoot” pictures followed by the article. I suck, lol. Also, sorry if this chapter feels a bit choppy—I was trying to capture many little scenes to kind of showcase Jo’s life right now.

The song for this chapter is Primadonna by Marina and The Diamonds.

Enjoy and try not to get a cavity. Heh heh heh….No, seriously.

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Primadonna girl, yeah

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All I ever wanted was the world

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I can’t help that I need it all

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The primadonna life, the rise and fall

The Cherry on Top

There is always room for dessert in Jade’s world.

By: LSW on October 18th, 2014

“When I was young, I used to hide out in the school auditorium after classes,” Jade giggles. “I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I’d sneak in anyway and when I was sure no one was around, I’d stand right in the middle of the stage and pretend that I was singing to a crowd of thousands.She sits back in her chair after her ‘confession’, twirling a long tendril of her golden hair while she crosses her legs and shows off a pair of pretty pink pumps.

Jade, aged 22, certainly doesn’t have to pretend anymore. Just yesterday she performed in front of a crowd of 40,000 screaming fans all dressed up as a sugary assortment of decadent desserts. It was the last performance in her lavish world tour, Sinfully Sweet. Named after her first hit single, the tour kicked off around the same time last year and has since featured eighty-seven nights of glittering diamonds, towering cupcakes, and a slew of saccharine lyrics laced with innuendos regarding frosting and lollipops. Now, with her first tour under her diamond-studded belt and a new album on the horizon, it’s clear that this sugar high is only just beginning.

“It’s really exciting,” the starlet says with a sparkling smile, “you would think after the tour things would die down, but with the new album there’s plenty more to do. I couldn’t be happier.” When she says the last bit, there’s a hint of something in her eyes, but when asked if everything is alright, she sits up a little straighter in her chair, her smile as wide as ever as she laughs and insists that everything is “wonderful.”

As it should be, honestly. Jade’s first hit single, Sinfully Sweet, stayed number one on Simboard’s Hot 100 for 10 weeks consecutively and it was soon followed by her second hit, Craving, which remained number one on the chart for another whopping 8 weeks. Perhaps even more stunningly, both of these singles were released at a time when she was still enrolled in college, taking a full course load of credits in order to obtain her degree. Soon after achieving this feat, Jade released her first hit album Sweet Sins, which has since sold over 5 million copies, easily hitting Platinum in its first week of sales. With second album Decadence due to be released within the year, it’s clearer than ever that this sweet star has successfully taken over pop music in a whirl of dextrose dresses and colossal confections.

What does Jade do when she’s not performing though?

“I write songs,” she blurts out with true exhilaration, and then ducks her head when she catches her manager’s eye, an austere woman never too far away from the pop princess. “Nothing good though,” she throws in right away. “That’s why I have other people write my songs for me.”

Hmmmm. Well, we wonder about that Jade, but since you’ve made it clear you’d like to change the subject, what about romance?

Jade flushes, smoothing out the numerous layers of her short, chiffon dress. “I didn’t have many opportunities for anything like that during my tour,” she answers in a strangely rehearsed manner, “but I’ll admit to a bit of flirting,” she adds with a sly smile.

Would any of that flirting happen to be with mega teen-heartthrob Brandon Hart?

“A girl doesn’t kiss and tell,” she says coyly, and then gasps, daintily covering her mouth. “Oh dear, saying that is rather like telling, isn’t it?”

Ah ha! So the rumors about why Brandon Hart was witnessed following the tour through at least Starlight Shores and Sunset Valley seem to be true! In that case, I think I can speak for myself, as well as countless others, when I say that we’re all terribly envious of this candied celebrity.

Jade giggles in response to my sentiments, her laugh soft and feminine. “Oh don’t. Despite…flirtations, I actually really am single right now and I’m not looking to settle down anytime soon.”

So when does she want to settle down?

“Oh, I don’t know. When I’m sure I’ve found the right man, maybe,” she blushes.

Still, the sugar-coated superstar insists that this isn’t a priority in her life and that her focus now is actually on creating an incredible album that can live up to the overwhelming success of the first.

She sits up a little straighter, her striking name-sake eyes gleaming beneath the studio lights. “Honestly, I’m just getting started.”

***

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You say that I’m kinda difficult
But it’s always someone else’s fault

“You can’t catch me!” I sang out giddily, giggling as I darted out of the sea of bodies moving on the dance floor. I slipped past a couple attached at the lips and then turned a corner, bursting into laughter as I suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me back.

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“Gotcha,” Brandon whispered into my ear. I giggled more, my head light and fluffy from the numerous drinks I’d imbibed that night.

It was the first evening back in Starlight Shores since my tour began over a year ago and, of course, that called for a celebration—mostly for the eyes of the paparazzi, who were ecstatic when mega celebrities Jade and Brandon greeted each other at the entrance with a passionate kiss. The cameras weren’t here now, as the club barred them actual entrance, but that didn’t mean I still couldn’t have fun with the boy.

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Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave

I pulled away from Brandon, stumbling slightly on my heels. “I’m going to get another drunk—I mean DRINK!” I shouted, practically doubled over now with laughter. Brandon grinned, closing the space between us once more as he slid his arm back around my waist.

“I think you’re already drunk,” he said into my ear, his breath hot and smelling strongly of alcohol. I couldn’t stop laughing.

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“But I meant DRINK!” I pouted, and then wiggled out of his arms again. “Come on,” I said, grabbing his hand. I pulled him over to the bar, squealing when I tripped on my heels again. Brandon grabbed my elbow with a laugh, steadying me as we neared the counter.

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“Sex on the beach,” I told the bartender. Brandon came up behind me again, his hand on the small of my back.

“I could give you that,” he breathed into my ear, and I broke out into renewed giggles.

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Primadonna girl

“That actually sounds awful,” I said, taking a step to the side and scrunching up my nose. “I mean, the sand would get everywhere.”

Brandon laughed. “I’d lay down a towel first.”

“You’ve given this a fair bit of thought, haven’t you?”

“If I have, it’s only with you in mind, sweetheart,” he flirted, then leaning in for a kiss.

“Yeah, right,” I giggled, turning at the last moment.

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I grabbed my freshly made drink off the bar counter, turning to smile at Brandon as I brought the glass to my lips. “This is as close as you’re going to get to me and sex on the beach,” I told him with a coy smile.

“We’ll see about that,” he said with a wolfish grin, and then ordered something called a Shamrock for himself.

“You sound so confident,” I laughed breathlessly. I took a few large gulps of my drink, the fruity sweetness of it making the alcohol easy to swallow.

“Let’s just say I have a way of getting what I want.”

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His drink arrived, an electric green color that seemed to camouflage with the walls. Brandon grabbed it, swallowing the lot in a few large gulps. Not one to be outdone, I finished my drink as well and then placed the empty glass back on the counter.

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Would you do anything for me?
Buy a big diamond ring for me?

“So, you have a ‘way’ do you?” I asked with a soft laugh, remembering his assertion. I looked up at him, licking my lips. “And what would you do to ensure you obtain me? How far would you go?”

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Brandon drew me in so that my body was pressed up against his again, his hand holding me firmly in place. “Pretty fucking far,” he admitted with a low growl. I giggled drunkenly.

“Would you lavish me in jewels?”

“The most expensive ones.”

“Buy me a house?”

“Right by the beach.”

“The beach we’re going to have sex on, right?”

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“That’s right,” he said, a slow grin appearing on his face as he gave my bottom a squeeze. I let out a squeak, giggling even more.

“Would you put a ring on this?” I asked, pouting my lips and holding up my bare left hand.

“With a huge blue diamond.”

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Would you get down on your knees for me?
Pop that pretty question right now, baby

“Yeah?” I asked again, stumbling slightly as I pushed myself more against him.

“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.

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His lips found my neck. I melted into him, all clouds and inhibition.

“So ask me,” I whispered.

“Ask you?” he mumbled in a daze.

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“Mmmhmm,” I murmured. I turned my head, reaching up to cup Brandon’s face in my hands. I grazed his lips with my own. “Ask me so I can turn you down properly,” I giggled, and then moved to slip out of his grip.

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He grabbed my forearm before I could get away, holding me in place for a moment. I looked back and his eyes caught mine. “I will get you one day, you know,” he said calmly.

I laughed it off, pulling my arm away. “We’ll see about that,” I grinned.

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I disappeared within the crowd gathered on the dance floor, lifting my arms up toward the ceiling. I laughed, shaking my head so the bleached blonde locks of my hair caught each glittering gleam of the colorful lights that swirled around us.

Couldn’t he see? I was just here to have fun.

***

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Beauty queen on a silver screen
Living life like I’m in a dream

Although my first tour may have come to an end, I was delighted to find that my performances certainly hadn’t as Melanie had me booked solid for the next few months. Most of my performances were in concert venues in and around Starlight Shores, but sometimes I’d get to perform in other nearby locales, such as Isla Paradiso.

The performances kept me busy, and although the locations may not have been massive stadiums with thousands of screaming fans, I admit that I still found myself enjoying these more intimate settings.

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I know I’ve got a big ego
I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though

Honestly, the best part about being back in Starlight Shores was the fact that, even though there weren’t as many people to perform for, it was clear that they absolutely loved me here and I loved that they loved me.

It meant a constant following by the paparazzi, but I didn’t even mind most of the time, often winking at the cameras or blowing them a kiss. It was all a lot of fun usually, and besides, tossing treats was a proven method in subduing beasts.

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“You received a letter,” Melanie sniffed one afternoon, holding out an envelope to me.

“I receive thousands of letters. Don’t I have people to answer this for me?”

Melanie rolled her eyes, shoving it into my hands. “It’s not a fan letter; it’s a personal letter, obviously. It’s from your family.”

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I nearly dropped the envelope, a sinking, guilty feeling suddenly filling the pit of my stomach. I’d barely spoken to my family at all whilst on tour, and I had to admit, even though I was back, I hadn’t once visited them yet….nor had I even thought to do so.

“Thanks,” I muttered, and then walked away from Melanie to open the letter in private.

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And I’m sad to the core, core, core
Every day is a chore, chore, chore

My hands trembled as I thumbed through the photos in the envelope. There was one of Tobias (god, he’d grown up so much), but most of the photos afterward were of my baby brother, Thomas, who I hadn’t even met yet. Only, he didn’t look like a baby anymore. He actually looked a lot like Tobias when he was little, I realized. My breath caught in my throat. How old was he now then? Three, maybe? There was no written letter—just the pictures.

Did Thomas even know who I was? Did Mom and Dad tell him about me? Did they show him pictures, or was he completely unaware of my existence?

I paused when I reached a photo of Thomas and my dad, the two clearly happy just to be in each other’s presence. I jumped, startled when a drop of water fell onto the photo. I wiped it away hastily, realizing then that I had started crying.

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When you give, I want more, more, more
I wanna be adored

God, how stupid of me. What would crying accomplish anyway? I’d made my choices and I was quite content with them too.

I looked down at the pictures once more, feeling my heart clench painfully. “Sorry,” I whispered, and then stuffed the photos back into the envelope.

***

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‘Cause I’m a primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world

I’d purchased a new home here in Starlight Shores, but had been relegated to hotel living since I’d been back because the extensive renovations on my new home had not yet been completed.

After all, I wanted huge chandeliers dripping crystals in my new home. I wanted an expansive, glittering pool I could lay beside all throughout the day. I wanted glass tables and huge windows, a massive walk-in closet and vases stuffed with fat, gorgeous flowers. I wanted it all, and I spent many hours instructing Melanie on what exactly needed to be changed.

She relayed the information to a team of top-notch decorators and I threw them some extra money to make the renovations as quickly as possible. After all, even the finest luxury hotel in Starlight Shores would have nothing on my new home.

The house itself actually wasn’t all that large—just a simple split level by the ocean, but it didn’t need to be larger with only myself to live in it. It did, however, after a solid two months of remodeling, end up having everything I could have dreamed of and more.

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I can’t help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall

Enormous glass windows allowed for an endless supply of sunlight all throughout the day while a long cobblestone pathway laced with greenery and bordered by beautiful Zen gardens led up to the crystalline front doors. Beside the Zen gardens were perfect little ponds in which colorful Koi lived—imported directly from China.

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In the backyard there was a massive pool, its aquamarine hues reflecting off the pure Portuguese ceramic that lined its depths. Beside the pool were long lounge chairs as well, and beyond them, you could see the ocean as far as the eyes could see. Then, nestled into a lush tapestry of exotic plants, sat a beautiful hot tub, its frothing waters steaming in the cool fall air.

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On the first floor was the kitchen and the living room.

The kitchen was a strikingly modern display outfitted with a single glass table, the best appliances money could purchase, and yes, vases filled to bursting with fat, sweet-smelling flowers.

The living room, in the meantime, housed a gorgeous chandelier that rained crystals down into the center of the room and a gleaming aquarium which I planned to fill with dozens of tropical fish.

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The second floor was my personal hideout, outfitted with my decadent four-poster bed, a rich wooden desk, the bathroom, and an entire corner devoted entirely to music and art. An intricately designed easel sat by the window and my keyboard took up most of the corner, but that was just the way I liked it. I was a master of both the piano and painting and I was even well on my way to being quite skilled on the guitar, an instrument that also sat pristinely in my little music nook.

Maybe here, in my perfect, seaside retreat, I would even get the chance to write more songs of my own—songs that maybe, just maybe, didn’t have any references to sugar and sweets.

***

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You say that I’m kinda difficult
But it’s always someone else’s fault

“God, this isn’t Evian water and I swear if that lemon is actually organic I’ll eat the goddamn rinds!” I shouted, smashing the glass against the wall. “Can’t anyone get anything right?!”

“The problem is being rectified immediately,” Melanie cut in, unperturbed by my outburst, “and the people at fault will be punished, you can be sure of that.”

“Thank goodness,” I mumbled, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Did they think I wouldn’t notice?”

“They’re idiots, the lot of them. Now come on, you’ve got to get ready for your concert tonight. Nikolay is waiting upstairs. Let’s go.”

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Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave

Oh! That frosting’s everywhere, but ah! That’s how I like it!
So, so sugary sweet…mmmmm! I’ve gotta have it!”

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Primadonna girl

“Thank you! You’ve been so lovely! I just love you all from the very depths of my heart!”

“I LOVE YOU MORE, JADE!!!”

“Haha! You’re all so….sweet!”

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Fill the void up with Celluloid
Take a picture, I’m with the boys

Time passed by quickly in Starlight Shores, lost in a blur of concerts, photo shoots, interviews, and celebrity parties that never quite seemed to end. It was all so very exciting, and yes a little exhausting, until slowly, oh so gradually, it became…rather…the same.

1.) Spend hours being pinned and prodded into candied costumes; 2.) Sing sugary sweet songs; 3.) Strike suggestive poses with pastries; and 4.) Smile. Always, always smile.

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I continued with it all though—of course I did. This was the life I’d always dreamed of, so I continued to dress up in candy colors and I continued to sing those saccharine songs, and I smiled and smiled and smiled and slowly, like a sinister, creeping darkness leaking into the depths of my heart, it became distressingly more and more difficult to do so.

I would smile, and more and more often it wouldn’t quite reach my eyes, and I’d be left with this unnerving sort of…hollow feeling in my chest that I couldn’t quite get rid of.

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Get what I want ‘cause I asked for it
Not because I’m really that deserving of it

I tried to get rid of it though, of course. It was such a stupid, unexplained feeling anyway, so I did whatever I could think of to rid myself of it.

Mostly, I made loads of extravagant purchases—hundreds of dresses, shoes, and jewels, a custom-made luxury car, and even a vacation home in France, for that had been my favorite destination on my world tour. Still though, again it never quite felt like enough. No matter how much I bought, no matter how expensive the clothes that I wore were, I was left feeling bereft, and it seemed like the more months that passed, the more deeply ingrained this feeling became.

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Living life like I’m in a play
In the limelight I want to stay

Still, I put on glorious shows more sparkling and sweet and extravagant than ever. Sometimes I would even feel like maybe I was winning against that feeling, especially when I got to interact with my fans, signing autographs, taking photos, and overall just so excited to see how happy these things made them.

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I know I’ve got a big ego
I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though

I knew that I was the one who made them happy too. It was my smile and my beauty and my voice that drew them in. The audience members would spend hours designing huge, colorful posters just to catch my attention. They’d scream how much they loved me and cry when they got to meet me, and when I saw these things yes, I could forget that feeling…that hollow sort of feeling that stayed latched onto my heart like a parasite.

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Then I would come home though…and it would be so quiet.

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I’d slide into the hot tub, and I would just sit there, and it would be quiet.

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I’d sit in bed late at night, reading a book, and even if I played music on the stereo, it would somehow still feel quiet.

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I’d lie on the couch, staring up at the dazzling crystal chandelier dripping down from above me, and the feeling would begin to crush me because it was just so fucking quiet.

***

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Going up, going down, down, down

I sat on the couch in the lounge of Valencia Records, staring at nothing. My hair was styled flawlessly, my makeup was perfect. My shoes were worth five hundred dollars and my dress was worth twice that easily. I was a perfectly coifed little doll and I realized that I rather felt like one too—hollow and plastic.

I rubbed my temple, feeling a slight headache building up deep within my skull.

Was it really me that drew them all in? Was it really my smile and my beauty and my voice, or was it…Jade’s?

Was Jade someone wholly distinct from me, and if she was, then who was I? Was I even anyone anymore, or was I just a little doll on display now?

No, not a doll.…I was a puppet.

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Anything for the crown, crown, crown

Sing puppet, dance puppet, smile puppet.

My throat tightened, tears beading at the edges of my eyes. Stupid, useless, tiny pretty puppet. Hollow, plastic, and so lost in quiet because I was so alone.

I broke down into sobs as the full weight of the feeling that had been eating away at the very fibers of my being finally swallowed me whole. Oh god, my god, this hollow feeling was all because I was so very, very alone. God!

Why was I so alone though? There were so many people working here, and yet I never seemed to see any of them. Did they…did they avoid me? Oh god. They did, they must.

I let out a pained scream, clutching at my hair and unable to take it anymore.

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When the light’s dimming down, down, down

The door to the lounge suddenly swung open and I let out a small yelp, standing up and hastily wiping away my tears. Oh god, puppets didn’t cry! Puppets sat pristinely, always smiling, always perfect…and always so very alone. I felt fresh tears appear in my eyes and, unbidden, a small, strangled whimper sounded deep within my throat. I turned my back to the door, grasping my hands anxiously and praying that, despite my loneliness, the intruder would feel so awkward that they would just go away.

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I thought, for a moment, that they would. I stood there, my back to the door and my eyes shut tightly as tears continued to fall down my face, and the person seemed to be frozen and unmoving as if debating whether they should just go. At any rate, it seemed clear that they didn’t want to be here.

Instead of walking right back out though, the figure chose to speak. I tensed, shutting my eyes even tighter.

“Are you alright?”

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I spin around

I opened my eyes. I didn’t recognize this voice…a kind of…warm…sort of…low, subdued, lilting tone that I had never once heard before. I furrowed my brow in confusion and, despite myself, turned around.

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My heart skipped a beat—possibly two. “Oh,” I said softly.

It was…that man. I bit my lip, feeling all at once horrible because I realized that though I did recognize him (how could I ever forget that face?), I did not remember his name. Why couldn’t I remember his name? It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him before. He worked backstage a lot…right? Why didn’t I know? God, no wonder most of the people here didn’t bother with me.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize—” he started, and then sighed, “Sorry. I’ll just…go then,” he finished, gesturing vaguely at the door.

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“No!” I cried out in a sudden, irrational panic, feeling tears flood my eyes all over again. I took a few steps forward, my heart beating hard. “I mean….” I frowned, trying to find my words, “you…you don’t have to go. Don’t…don’t let me stop you from doing…whatever it is you were going to do.”

The man’s eyes opened wide, as if alarmed by my outburst, but the look quickly went away and he just stood there then, clearly unsure what he should do or say in that moment. I realized that he probably still wanted to leave, so I cleared my throat, continuing. “I um…I…I can’t quite remember your name,” I managed to get out. I hastily wiped my eyes, smoothing down my dress then and standing up a little straighter in an effort to at least appear sane.

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He looked at me for a moment, his mouth slightly open now in surprise or maybe even just dazed confusion at this point and I realized that he had the most beautiful russet colored eyes. Jeez, what a stupid thing to notice at a time like this.

“Gabriel,” he finally answered in that same, subdued tone.

My eyes widened as I remembered. “Right…yes,” I whispered. “Gabriel Peters.”

He nodded a bit, and I was reminded all at once of the first day I arrived here. It seemed an entire lifetime ago. It seemed like…someone else’s life.

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God…the story wasn’t supposed to go like this. The real girl wasn’t supposed to be turned into a puppet—it was supposed to be the other way around! My eyes filled with tears all over again, and I began to wish I’d just let Gabriel go because he really was a stranger and now I was losing it in front of him.

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“Look… is there something I can do?” he asked with a frown, heavy brows furrowed in concern. “Someone I could call, maybe?”

A strangled cry escaped my throat as I shook my head, clutching at my hair again as I felt my sanity unravel once more. “No,” I choked out, shaking my head even harder. “No, there’s no one!”

“Hey, hey! Stop that,” Gabriel cut in sternly, and he was suddenly beside me, taking my hands away from my hair. I realized then that I’d begun to pull at it.

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I cried harder, suddenly clinging to this virtual stranger before I could even think about what I was doing. He stiffened, but eventually lifted his arms to place his hands gingerly on my back. “Jo.…” he said, his voice a little softer now although he still felt tense. “What…what happened? To…to make you so miserable?”

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I stopped sobbing, looking up at Gabriel incredulously. “What?” I whispered.

He took a step away from me, looking confused. “I…I asked what happened,” he answered haltingly, as if trying to puzzle out whether he’d said something offensive or not.

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“You called me Jo.”

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“Er…yeah…” he said apprehensively, still clearly trying to figure out if he had missed something. “That’s your name, isn’t it? Or did I remember it wrong?” he asked with a frown, second-guessing himself.

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Was that my name anymore? Hearing it was suddenly so…so unsettling. It brought a slew of images to the forefront of my mind—images that felt completely disconnected with my life now, images that felt entirely wrong.

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In fact, everything felt wrong in this moment. Why was I so ‘miserable’ anyway, as Gabriel had put it? I was a star goddamn it! I had everything I could possibly dream of and more and here I was making a fool of myself in front of this stranger by wallowing in self-pity. I had everything. There was no reason to be upset.  I was being so, so stupid, and it was all just so wrong!!

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“It’s Jade, actually,” I corrected heatedly, “and I’m not miserable.”

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‘Cause I’m a primadonna girl, yeah

***

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All I ever wanted was the world

I can’t help that I need it all
The primadonna life, the rise and fall

“I want a huge fucking fountain in front of my house. None of that Zen garden bullshit. I want a huge fountain with about a thousand flowers growing all around it. Big, beautiful, colorful blossoms just exploding everywhere!”

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You say that I’m kinda difficult
But it’s always someone else’s fault

“And I want more color on that stage! The little ice cream towers standing off to the sides look stupid. I need ice cream cones everywhere and great, big heart bubbles floating all around me when I perform!”

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Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave

“I thought I asked for this dress in lilac! This is so much more lavender, it’s terrible! Have it returned and remade, but forget about lavender now, get me one in like, sunshine yellow. Oh, and those diamond studded pumps in the same color! I want them right away—just pay them extra to rush it.”

***

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Primadonna girl, yeah

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Primadonna girl, yeah
All I ever wanted was the world

I collapsed into tears, great heaving sobs wracking my body. God, he was right! He was so right! I was miserable. I was so fucking miserable and I fucking hated all of this! I hated this stupid fucking music. I hated dressing up like a fucking confection. I hated pretending to be someone that I wasn’t and what I hated more than anything in the entire world was the horrible person that I had actually become.

I wanted to find Gabriel right now and apologize for being so rude to him when he was only ever kind. I wanted to tell him that he was right and I wanted to confide in him exactly why. I wanted to get to know him because he made my heart skip a beat without even trying. I wanted to stop being so goddamn lonely and fuck I wanted to find myself again because I didn’t know who I was anymore and that was just so goddamn scary.

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“There you are!” Melanie hissed, storming up to me. “What the hell are you doing back here? We don’t have time for whatever bullshit you’re pulling right now! You have an interview in twenty minutes—I told you about this! The after show exclusive!”

Oh god, why did she have to find me? I should have ran—ran far far away from all of this.

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“I can’t,” I moaned, shaking my head through my tears. My body was trembling. “This isn’t me I-I don’t even know who I am anymore!” I cried hysterically. I met her gaze despairingly, imploring her to understand, but Melanie just glared down at me, narrowing her eyes.

She took her purse off her shoulder and then rummaged through it, pulling out an orange bottle. She popped it open and then grabbed my wrist, holding my palm up flat. “Take these,” she instructed, tilting the bottle so a few pills fell out and onto my palm. I frowned. They were a mixed assortment, all different colors and shapes.

“What are they?” I asked uneasily.

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“They’ll make you feel better,” she said soothingly, taking a small water bottle out of her purse and handing it to me as well.

“But—”

“You’re a star, Jade!” Melanie snapped, her eyes blazing behind the glare of her glasses. “You’re a star and that’s all thanks to me and this company. We’ve turned your ungrateful ass into what it is and we could take it all away just as fast! Do you want that?”

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“No,” I said quickly, feeling the color draining from my face. I clenched my fist, the pills locked tightly within it.

“Then take them and let’s go. We’ve got to fix your damn makeup for the interview.”

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I can’t help that I need it all

I looked at the pills in my hand and then shoved the lot into my mouth, grabbing the water bottle from Melanie and washing them down with a few gulps.

Screenshot-705

“There you go,” Melanie said with an attempt at a motherly smile. She wiped away my tears and tucked my hair behind my ears. “Now come on…let’s fix you up. We’ve still got so much to do.”

The primadonna life, the rise and fall

Screenshot-717

You say that I’m kinda difficult
But it’s always someone’s else fault

“So Jade, what would you say about all these rumors that you’re difficult to please?”

I laughed lightly, shaking my head. I was so happy in that moment that I didn’t even care that the interviewer was asking about such a nasty rumor.

“Oh my,” I said, lightly surprised. “Well I’d have to say that’s nonsense. I just like things a certain way, you know? Surely we all deserve to have things the way we want them? You know, as long as it’s possible.”

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I gazed at the interviewer, Nicky Hutchins, with a charming smile, tossing the golden tendrils of my hair behind my shoulder.

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Got you wrapped around my finger, babe
You can count on me to misbehave

“Uhh…yeah,” he said a bit absently, seeming momentarily dazed. I giggled delightedly.

Gosh, everything was just SO wonderful right now, wasn’t it?!?!

Nicky Hutchins shook his head a bit and then cleared his throat. “So, what would you say is your favorite part of performing?”

Screenshot-737

“Being surrounded by 10 foot tall desserts!”

Nicky laughed, and I laughed along with him before sitting back in my chair and crossing my legs. “But no, in all seriousness, my favorite part is seeing all of my fans. They’re all just so lovely. I mean, I honestly love every one of them to pieces!” I giggled.

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“Aw, well aren’t you sweet?” he said with a smile, placing a hand over his heart.

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I grinned back dazzlingly, my eyes catching the camera. “I do try to be.”

Primadonna girl

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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31 thoughts on “Chapter 5.8: Primadonna”

  1. Oh my berry ! O_o Look like the time’s up : the fall seem to have started for Jo 😦
    The song suit perfectly of what seem to be the start of her downfall and what she wanted ^^
    And it look bad for the next few chapters before things get better 😦

    I loved to see her life as a star ^^
    Tobias is a good looking teen and Thomas is a cutie ^^ I love the pics when his father hold him, they really look happy ^^
    She should have knew that her life would not allow her to see her family like she wanted and not see her littles brothers grow up as a teen for one and as a toddler for the other…
    Maybe things would have been different if she had signed in a honest label ? And if it’s the case, that’s even more sad… 😦
    She is missing so much things with her family and the real life, if she don’t do anything, one day, it will be too late and she’ll only have her eyes to cry…

    But after all, that’s what she wanted, being a star at all cost…

    My my, one of the worst part of what she done in that chapter is that she took those damn pills è_é
    I hope she won’t become dependent of these things, medics dependencies can be really hard to get rid of -_-

    And yeah, she’s hard to please, like almost all real life stars XD

    And it may sound harsh (and I’m sorry if it’s the case, because it’s not my intention at all), but I’m glad that she’s started to feel the result of the life she wanted to have and starting to realise that’s not what she really wanted and is a puppet, not herself.
    That pain of loneliness and her starting to realise what’s happening are what may potentially save her, with the help of real friends ^^

    I think pain is a think that can help people wake up and see the truth in some cases ^^

    And I hope she won’t end with Brandon or Gabriel XD
    I really prefer her with Oliver XD

    But Gabriel may be a potential ally for her to escape that life, who know ^^

    And I love her modern house 😀
    She’s really well done ^^

    1. Wow, thank you! So many compliments–I feel really humbled! Thank you!

      It was pretty fun designing and playing her life as a star, like when designing huge stage sets full of sweets and all of her crazy candied outfits, haha. I also still love playing James’ family 🙂 Tobias is definitely handsome and Thomas is super cute! At first I thought he looked A LOT like Tobias, just because they both have Candice’s eyes and hair color, but I think their faces might be different–I hope, lol.

      She really is missing out on a lot 😦 Her siblings are growing up fast, and she’s never even met her youngest brother. That’s where her choices have led her though…and now comes the question of whether it’s all worth it….

      Also, that doesn’t sound harsh at all! I’m ALSO glad that she’s finally seeing the results of the life she wanted to have. Pain is a big wake up call, I agree! Now we just need to see how much pain it will take for Jo to wake up and see the truth…..:X

      I have no comments about her and any of those boys–I don’t want to give anything away! hehe.

      The house is actually a house I downloaded off MTS–I just changed some of the decorations and such to fit ^_^ It’s really nice 🙂

      Thanks again as always for reading and commenting! ❤

      1. You’re welcome my dear 😀
        Your story is truly one of the best that I read, you’re really talented 😀
        And I really love reading your story about Jo’s life 😀
        It’s really well done and I love your take on the star system ^^
        It’s true that it’s not a world as pretty as almost all peoples think, even if it have its good sides 😉

        Yup, I see that you had a lot of fun playing her life as a star 😉
        And I’ve liked the fotos (or is it photos ? XD) shot and the text for the magazine ^^

        I can’t wait to see Tobias and Thomas grow up, they’re going to be handsome when they’re young adult I think ^^
        I find funny that none of the kind inherited at least partly their mother’s skin color XD When I mean parlty, I mean having a less dark color than Candice but darker than James XD

        Yeah, I think she’ll be a stranger for Thomas, and it’s sad because she’s her sister 😦

        And personnaly, I think her choices are absolutely not worth what she lost, and she’s starting to see it…
        Let’s hope it’s not too late to get everthing or – almost at least – back ^^

        I’m glad that it didn’t sound harsh and that you too are glad that she’s finally “waking up” a little ^^
        It’s less easy to convey feelings in a good way when writing, and given that english insn’t my maternal language (I’m french), I thought i’ve missed to convey my thought the way I wanted XD

        Yeah, I can’t wait how much she’ll endure that pain before she finally face the reality. And I think it wont be a pretty thing to see : I imagine she’ll break down for a time when she’ll see what she’ve done and lost.
        And for that I pity her a bit 😦
        But like we say, we get what we deserve XD
        (I hope It’s the right expression, in french it’s : on n’a que ce qu’on mérite XD)
        And for that, I don’t pity her XD
        After all, it’s her choices that made her lose so much things like her brothers growing up and even not knowing her youngest sibling XD
        I hope you understand what I mean XD

        He he, I understand that you don’t want to give anything about her and the boys 😀
        It’s just that I think that no man will love her like Oliver, after all, he was going to give up on everything for her, poor boy 😥
        He’s my favorite among her potential partners that I’ve seen so far, that’s why I’m rooting for him XD The second being maybe Gabriel.
        I’m waiting to learn more about him before making a definitive judgement, but for now, he don’t seem too bad ^^
        But I’m more reserved about Brandon, to me, something seem a bit off, but maybe it’s my imagination 😉

        I see ^^
        You did a really good choice with that house ^^ It really suit for a star’s home ^^

        1. Thank you, thank you! It’s “photos” hehe, and they were a lot of fun to set up 🙂

          I think it’s funny that none of the kids inherited Candice’s skin color either. In fact, the main reason why I had them try one more time was because I was hoping that the trait would pass on, but just like everyone else Thomas has light skin. It’s really strange, but I won’t be trying again! lol

          You’re very good in English considering it’s not your first language! I’ve been studying Spanish for the majority of my life and I don’t think I’d be able to write it as well as you write English, so you’re doing great! ^_^ You got the expression correct too–looks like it’s very similar in both English and French! 🙂 Jo is definitely experiencing the effects of the choices that she’s made now….

  2. I was worried that the real Jo was still in there somewhere, and she crept out for a bit, but Jade took over 😦

    Hope Jo is still in there fighting….
    Also hope to see Gabriel again 😀

    1. Yup, I agree behysims, it look like now Jo have a form of split personnality : her real one as Jo and her fake one as Jade… And for now, it seem that Jad is stronger 😦

  3. I think my favorite part of all of that was when Jo was thinking that it wasn’t supposed to be a real girl who turned into a puppet. That line and that whole part really made this update. Jade is horrible and Jo, when she peaks out from behind the curtain, knows it. I am intrigued by Gabriel. I hope he didn’t get run off. I hope he’s back. I am angered by her assistant, Melanie, who gave her pills. I just wanted to scream at her not to take them. I hate that she is made to feel like her own songs aren’t good enough. That’s such bullshit. This rollercoaster ride is starting to really suck for Jo. The question is will she be able to get off?

    1. Thank you. That section was actually my favorite part of the chapter too, but it could also be because I felt like it was the moment where the Jo that we know and remember finally made a real appearance, so it was so much better to write than the horrible candied confection that is Jade.

      Everyone will pretty much make more appearances, including Gabriel, but everything is getting very…complicated.

      Ugh, Melanie! She’s an extremely ambitious woman who will do anything to ensure her success…probably to a further degree even than Jo, and that’s really saying something. Thus, she had no qualms about medicating her little ticket to the top. Yuck! Melanie is also responsible for that manipulation…she needs Jo to stay under her thumb, or else she’s going to lose the person who finally gave her her big break. Yuck again! If you can’t tell, I hate Melanie, lol.

      That’s definitely the question, but also, if she does get off, in what condition will she be left in…?

  4. I still can’t get over how different Jo looks with Blonde hair and her makeup. I knew the pills were coming but although I am happy she didn’t go home randomly with someone from the bar I really wasn’t expecting her to take the pills. But depression can make you desperate I guess.

    I think you did a good job letting Jo still shine through now and again in the first interview and I hope she will come around soon. I feel so bad for her family and I can’t believe she hasn’t met her youngest sibling yet. For shame Jo!

    I am in the same boat as everyone for not liking Melanie. I guess she’s just trying to look after herself because in the professional world, it is very dog eat dog! But you should never advance yourself at the expense of someone else’s health and happiness. And I do mean to include mental health in the general health loop.

    On a funny note I can’t believe there was another baby without Candice’s colouring lol. I was really hoping for that final baby to have some more of her traits. But James is a very good looking Sim so the kids could have had all of his traits and they would be beautiful lol.

    Great Chapter Lily! I can’t wait for the next one, and I can’t wait to see when Jo breaks out and tears apart Jade.

    1. Oh, I know. I still have those little moments where I’m playing the game and I’m like “Where the crap did Jo go?” and I realize she’s right in front of my eyes, only I didn’t recognize her right away with the blonde hair, lol.

      “Desperation” has really been a large driving factor in all of Joanne’s decision-making, which of course has led her down a rather dark path :/ I feel bad for her family too–I’m constantly thinking about them through all of this and you’re going to see more of how this has affected them in upcoming chapters. Not meeting Thomas *shakes head* Definite for shame, especially considering how close to her family she used to be!

      Oh my god though don’t even get me started on those dang genetics! lol. The primary reason I had them try for ONE more kid was because I was hoping Candice’s skin color would finally pass down, but apparently it’s like the most recessive gene in the world, ugh. It’s not like all the Winters have been super light either–I mean, Tamara was tan, but apparently Jiang’s genes are just SUPER strong…to the point where they’re pretty strong in Joanne too. Oiy *shakes head* lol. Oh well though, I give up!!! On a lighter note, I’m really glad that you think that about James–I seriously thought I was the only one!! There’s just something about him that I find really pleasant to look at, LOL *blush*

      Lastly, I hate Melanie too, she is just the worst! I mean, her actions do make sense given the reality they live in, but they’re still totally deplorable! Argh!

      Thank you ❤ The next chapter is definitely in the works! ^_^

  5. I think I like this generation better than James’s. I really appreciate Jo following her dreams until they destroy her.

    I have a meek hope that Oliver will make another appearance someday. Even if they’re not right for each other, they deserve a chance to really understand each other.

    1. Oooooh! That’s actually really exciting to read because I enjoyed writing James’ generation so much that I had doubts about whether I could meet/top it. I think I see what you’re getting at–it’s kind of like the fascination of the abomination, haha. Like a train wreck…you just can’t look away! 😉

      I agree that they deserve a chance to really understand each other and I’m currently trying to figure out how to potentially work that in, but so far I’ve been unable to think of something, lol. So we’ll see about Oliver–it’s definitely been running through my mind 😉

  6. This is actually an interesting fact about the article you wrote in the beginning, how the magazine picked up on Joanne’s true feelings that she was hiding. You know… her problem of never telling anyone how she feels is probably what made her the perfect archetype (as you said in your reply to me in the previous chapter) for Valencia… Because Joanne is so okay with just stuffing her true feelings, she’s just doing what Valencia wants even though her heart feels otherwise. It’s sad that pictures of her family brought her pain instead of happiness. I think that if she were truly happy, her family pictures would have amplified her happiness.

    Oh dear… Joanne’s become one of those stars. LOL. The Evian water and freaking out over diamond studded pumps. XD I can see though that you wrote it as her lashing out at the very people who are making her miserable, which makes sense, if she can hide her real feelings, again, by masking them with crazy demands of her staff, then she can let out her anger without telling people why she’s really upset. Melanie is a horrible person too… I mean, she clearly just looks at Joanne and sees a walking monetary object, not a person.

    Gabriel is so sweet, it really got me when he called her ‘Jo.’ I’m a little miffed at Joanne for not taking that opportunity to talk to him, I mean, he gave her a hug when she needed it, LOL. At the very least she could have him as a friend and it might get her through her misery, and maybe help her feel better. I suppose that wasn’t the point of what you’re getting at though, the point is that Joanne should realize at some point she needs to find her stardom a better way. LOL. I definitely see the tunnel vision very clearly now, that you mentioned Joanne is always doing. What stops her from making things better though, once she figures out her tunnel vision is leading her to things she hates? My theory is she still thinks that this is the only way to stay famous?

    Oh dear… LOL, she was kind of funny at the end after taking Valium or Prozac or something of that nature. Forgive me, I know it was actually supposed to be a sad thing, but her little giggles and her ‘Jade persona’ were making me laugh just because of how fake her life is now. It’s like it’s so messed up, all you can do is laugh to make the pain go away or something, LOL.

    1. Aww, that’s such a good point! You’re right—if Joanne was truly happy, the photos really would have amplified her happiness. Instead, they only served to make her feel ashamed, because she knows that she’s not being true to herself and she knows that her family would be so upset to see this. Not to mention that she’s pretty much lost all contact with them in her tunnel-visioned quest for ultimate stardom, so that just adds to the shame *sigh*

      LOL I definitely wrote it as a mix of both; that is, she has become one of those stars, but also most of her “tantrums” are indeed her lashing out. Hiding her real feelings—that’s such an important character trait for Joanne! Glad you’re seeing that so clearly. Also, yes, Melanie sucks, lol. Joanne means nothing more to her than money and prestige >:|

      Gabriel ❤ She so should have talked to him. I mean, he was clearly willing to listen to her: he could have been like WTF when she threw herself at him, but instead he just kind of awkwardly gave her the hug she obviously needed, lmao. He could have been a friend—someone to help her feel less alone in all of this. At this point though it’s sort of Joanne not willing to admit that she’s made a horrible mistake…she’s trying to convince herself that it was all worth it—trying to convince herself that she really does have all that she ever wished for. Admitting misery would be admitting she fucked up and Joanne just isn’t quite at that point yet…..

      LOL don’t worry I always laugh at that end scene too even though it has an underlying sadness to it. “Gosh, everything was just SO wonderful right now, wasn’t it!?!?” LMAO. Jeez. It really is so messed up XD

  7. I loved the magazine article, it really showed some of Jo’s true feelings… I hope that she’s able to get a different label, she’s going to crash and burn and be left with nothing because she’s manged to alienated everyone in hopes of being a star… 😦

    1. Thank you 🙂 I thought it’d be a good way to show what’s really going on since Joanne is clearly having difficulties seeing it for herself.

      She definitely needs to do just that, or else a crash and burn is all too likely…..

  8. Primadonna…that’s the only song I’ve actually heard before reading this blog…I have to say, you certainly picked it this time. Bull’s eye, well done, top of the charts…I’m going to go cry now…T.T

  9. Uh oh, pills? Reminds me of another startlet by the name of Judy Garland. Did Jo learn NOTHING about addiction from her father?? God JO! You’re making such bad decisions! I hope she can get herself out of this, and soon!

    1. Mmmm right now Joanne’s mentality is to just, “take them when she needs a boost,” but she SHOULD know better–It’s a damn slippery slope from there and she’s going to end up at the bottom if she doesn’t stop.

    1. I know right? She’s evidently willing to sacrifice her very identity all in the name of chasing “stardom.” I’m not such a fan of this version of Joanne either.

      She DOES indeed know that her excuse for a manager drugged her….In fact, despite her initial hesitations, she willingly accepted it. Anything to keep her fame…..

      1. I just had to read this chapter again. Made for a good laugh after a shitty week.
        Huge fucking fountain with big, colorful blossoms exploding everywhere? Big, heart bubbles? 10 foot tall deserts? Matching lilac diamond-studded pumps? is that even a thing?
        No Zen bullshit?

        Jeez Jade! No wonder she was miserable and only had her crew to pick on for such frivolous things. I would really, really hate to work for her.

        Now off to continue reading.

        1. Gah, I’m sorry to hear about the shitty week, but glad that re-reading this chapter could make it a little better.

          LOL I KNOW RIGHT? She was absolutely ridiculous and her crew DID hate working for her. Joanne/Jade even says, “There were so many people working here, and yet I never seemed to see any of them. Did they…did they avoid me?” I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THEY CERTAINLY DID. Like when Gabriel walked into the lounge and saw her his initial reaction was definitely, “Fuck…” LMAO. Then he noticed she was crying though and well, he doesn’t hate her THAT much =P He had to at least ask if she was okay. Course then he was GOING to get out of there, but she sort of freaked out so he couldn’t just LEAVE, and then the next thing he knows she’s throwing herself on him sobbing. Heh. Well, maybe there’s more to her than he thought then, eh? But also, seriously, like you said, “JEEZ JADE.” Bahahahaha. She’s a nightmare right now, she really is. We can only hope that it won’t get worse…….

          Hope you continue enjoying reading this 😉

          OH and YES DIAMOND-STUDDED PUMPS ARE A THING, LOL. She’s actually wearing a pair in the first few images, only they’re red and white. In real life they’d look something like THIS<–Link. Hahahaha XD

  10. Noooo don’t take suspicious looking drugs from your manager! Or anyone! Oh Jo. Or Jade, should I say… Boy did your life take a turn for the worse. Why would anyone dream of being famous anyway, it seems like the worst thing to me, but then I love my privacy I suppose.
    Anyway, I need to read the next chapter. Like, now.

    1. Lol, that was my first thought when I began reading your comment: “OR ANYONE!” No suspicious looking drugs!!! Gahhhh =(

      And omg I feel the same way. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be famous either because I love my privacy too, but Joanne loves just about everything about being in the limelight with all eyes on her. Of course, at this rate she won’t be able to enjoy it for much longer because a crash from this precarious height feels almost inevitable…..

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