Generation 5 Special: Augustus and Gemma III

Generation 5 Special- Augustus and Gemma III

A/N: Here I am again and in a timely manner more or less! First of all, I want to say THANK YOU a million times to everyone who read, liked, and/or left comments on my previous chapter. That was pretty much the best welcome back in the world. You guys are amazing and I couldn’t be more thankful to have your readership!

Also, there’s an avalanche of schoolwork coming my way and I haven’t even written out the next part yet, so the next chapter probably won’t be posted until late May. That chapter will be Part IV, followed by a Joanne update, finally, lol. On that note, make sure that you have read Augustus and Gemma Part I and Part II before reading this one.

Now, without further ado, we continue on directly from the last part—like literally, I wrote them all at the same time and split it, lol. Happy reading and I can’t wait to see what you all have to say! ^_^;




The earth continued its circuitous revolution around the sun and the days continued to pass in wholly predictable ways. Gemma Winters stood in front of her mirror, tying her limp curls into a high ponytail atop her head and then briefly checking over her eyeliner before heading downstairs. She grabbed an apple from the basket of fruit on the kitchen counter, bit into it, and then grabbed her backpack from where it lay abandoned by the couch, shouldering it and making a slight face at its weight. Taking another bite from the apple, Gemma left the house and began the fifteen minute walk to her first class of the day.


It was a little warmer this morning than it had been in the past few days, but as autumn steadily faded these days would soon die away. In fact, the temperature was set to drop substantially by the end of the week, a fact for which Gemma was grateful as she had always preferred the cold. There was something exhilarating about feeling the bite of winter on one’s face and the icy air entering one’s lungs. It made her feel alive and allowed her to cocoon herself within layers of comfortable clothing without suffering from heat exhaustion.


Finishing her apple, Gemma threw the core into a trashcan she passed and then quickened her pace, not wanting to be late to the start of lecture as this particular professor liked to take points off people’s grades for tardiness.

As usual, the number of people she saw increased as she neared the heart of campus. Some were alone, but most traveled in groups, laughing and chatting with one another about holiday plans as they continued their stubborn denial of the irrepressible approach of finals. Most of the voices blended together, but two stood out in particular to Gemma as they were rapidly speaking in a different language.


Curiosity sparked, she glanced over to look at them, only to immediately avert her gaze as her eyes caught sight of a highly recognizable pair of blue and black framed glasses. Feeling vaguely embarrassed, Gemma quickened her pace yet again and did not look up until she had reached her destination.


There, Gemma slid into the nearest seat of the still fairly empty classroom and leaned over to retrieve a pen and a notebook from her bag.

A touch of awkwardness was not uncommon when Gemma crossed paths with individuals who she didn’t have an interest in seeing again, but the feeling was markedly more intense in the case of the bespectacled young man because the two seemed to cross paths all too frequently. After all, Ashton apparently had many classes in the same building (especially this semester) and, like her, spent countless hours at the library, which was where she had met him in the first place. The fact that he remained as mysterious and as handsome as he’d ever been did nothing to help her uneasiness around him. Not to mention that even after all this time, she hadn’t forgotten how nice that evening had been, which somehow made constantly running into him all the more uncomfortable. How stupid she was to have ever pursued someone in a place that she frequented.

Pushing these thoughts from her mind, Gemma titled and dated the top of her page and then proceeded to flip through her past notes as she waited for the lecture to begin.


Her attention was peaked once more, however, when she heard the language spoken again from outside the open door. Unable to help glancing in the direction of the voices, Gemma cautiously watched as Ashton bid a quick goodbye to his friend.


It was the only phrase she understood from what he was saying, and this she only knew because her grandmother had picked up a little Arabic from her numerous trips to Egypt and, of course, Gemma had to learn every word that she knew. It wasn’t much, but this was made up for by the long hours she and her twin had sat with their grandfather as he’d patiently try to teach the two youths as much Chinese as he could—no easy feat given its difficulty and their at times wandering attentions. Their grandfather had seemed to have a vested interest in doing so though because he had worked so much during his own children’s lives that he’d barely had the chance to teach them any. With Gemma and Augustus came a new opportunity to pass down his native tongue. The twins had only managed an elementary knowledge of it, but it had still been much more than anyone else in the family.


The memories of those lessons made Gemma’s heart ache for she missed her grandfather terribly. Unlike most, he had seemed to fully understand her insatiable hunger for finding logic within falsely perceived chaos and he never once seemed to tire of her questions, instead always encouraging her to ask even more. In fact, at times he would ask her questions, and her little ten-year old self would get stumped and frustrated and he would tell her that you could learn even more from not knowing than you could in knowing itself. Then she’d be even more confused, but Gemma understood what he meant now and she wished so much that she could tell him so.


Horrified by the sudden realization that she’d begun to cry, the curly-haired brunette hastily wiped her cheeks with the bases of her palms, but not a single person had seemed to notice anyway.

No longer was there anyone outside the door, nearly every seat was filled, and the professor had begun to write something on the board, leaving Gemma to contemplate which of the following scenarios was worse: A stranger noticing that you’re in pain and reaching out to you, or no one noticing this and being left on your own?

It did not take her long to reach a conclusion.

The latter was so much worse.


* * * * *



Augustus could not quite get the sound of his sister’s gut-wrenching sobs out of his head. They haunted him, leaving him both easily distractible and with a lingering pain that had settled deep within his chest over the past few days.

It wasn’t as if he’d never seen or heard Gemma upset before, but her recent breakdown had been on a level that he hadn’t ever witnessed before and it scared him. After all, what if it meant that everything was about to get worse? What if it meant she wouldn’t be able to pick herself up this time? What if—but no, he couldn’t get ahead of himself. They’d talked more since then and she didn’t seem as bad.

In fact, perhaps the magnitude of her crash had only been because of the information she’d discovered and now that she’d processed through it she would be okay. Perhaps the situation wasn’t as dire as his mind was making it out to be. Perhaps…but he certainly wasn’t naïve enough to bank on that hope.


“Are you o-okay, Augustus?”

The sound of Patrick’s words pulled him out of his thoughts, but he’d been so inextricably lost within them that it took him a moment before he managed to answer, “Uh, yeah. Sorry. Just…started daydreaming, I guess.”

Patrick bit his lip and was quiet for a few seconds before he tentatively asked, “Do you m-m-m-maybe want to watch something else?”

“Sure,” Augustus replied, giving Patrick’s knee a comforting squeeze. “Um, how about a movie?”

“Mm, one of the m-movies on your shelf d-d-did catch my eye.”



Patrick nodded and got up from the sofa, venturing over to the bookshelf in the corner of the room and grabbing one of the DVDs before he turned and held it up to Augustus with a smirk.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Gus admittedly had to smile at that. “Good choice.”

Kneeling before the television, Patrick carefully took the disc out of its case and then promptly dropped it onto the carpet, his face turning a noticeable shade of crimson as he hastily picked it up and popped it into the DVD player before it could fall again.

“Muggle,” Augustus playfully teased, and Patrick laughed before getting to his feet and mumbling, “Oh shut up.”


The dark-haired young man smiled, watching his boyfriend return to him and then abruptly pulling him down onto his lap. Unfortunately, the unexpected action made Patrick trip over his own sneakers and fall harder than Gus had intended, but he was in his arms now and that was all he’d really wanted so after a brief look into his eyes to make sure he was okay, Augustus drew him into a soft, but earnest kiss. Though his cheeks were pink from embarrassment, Patrick returned it without hesitation, reaching up to wind his fingers in Augustus’ long hair and pressing even nearer to him.

It made the world around them disappear for a blissful moment—a moment that only felt more magical when the familiar opening theme song began to play on the television.


Then Augustus remembered that the last time he’d watched this movie it had been with Gemma and how she’d seemed so much happier then and this realization had him quickly distracted as he broke the kiss and buried his face in Patrick’s shoulder.

The smaller young man responded by wrapping his arms around his neck, holding him closely and not saying a word. Augustus wasn’t sure how long they stayed like this, with Patrick hugging him comfortingly as he took quiet, calming breaths, but eventually he pulled back and said with a wince of chagrin, “Shall we start the movie?”

Again, an expression of uncertainty appeared on Patrick’s face, but then he nodded and moved off of Augustus’ lap to grab the remote from the side table and press “play.”


He knew he probably should’ve explained his odd behavior, but all Augustus wanted to do was watch a movie with his boyfriend and forget about everything else, so he wrapped his arm around Patrick’s shoulder and brought him near again as the film began to play. Whether it was because he understood what Gus wanted or whether it was because he was reluctant to push it, the purple-haired young man leaned his head against his shoulder and let Augustus be.

At first this weighed on him like so much else in his life currently, but apparently the movie really had been a good selection because eventually it managed to successfully divert his attention as he got swept into the energy of an epic quidditch match between Bulgaria and Ireland, the chaos a simple mark high in the sky could engender, and the following magic that was always present at Hogwarts.


Instead of ruminating on his worries, Augustus found himself thinking of how it was a shame that they’d cut the S.P.E.W plot line from the movie and how outstandingly boring it must have been to stare at an unmoving lake for an entire hour while waiting for the competitors to rise back to the surface. Then he found himself thinking how if they’d had underwater cameras filming maybe it wouldn’t have been so boring and yes okay, muggle electronics would go haywire around the school, but if you’re talking about a population that can use MAGIC, why didn’t they have their own version of an underwater camera so that it wasn’t as dull? Then again everyone seemed to be having a rousing good time, so maybe the wizarding world was simply more easily entertained and had better imaginations or something.


“I love how you still get so into the m-movie when you’ve p-p-probably seen it a hundred times and read the b-books a hundred more,” Patrick pointed out, a smile crossing his slightly blushing face.

“Oh,” Augustus sheepishly replied, taking his eyes off of the screen with some effort. He dropped his arm from around Patrick’s shoulder and then absently reached up to rub the back of his neck. “I…I guess I never get tired of it. The story draws me in every time.”

“I see that,” Patrick said in quiet amusement, and then reached up to touch his face and shyly met his gaze, which was a fairly rare occurrence. Augustus wished it weren’t as Patrick’s eyes were such a fascinating shade of gray—multihued granite whose tones were only revealed in the shine of light. The dark-haired young man felt his heartrate increase and he was just about to lean in to kiss him again when Patrick said, “Y-y-y-you’d be m-my second task, you know.”

“What?” Augustus asked, briefly confused as he thought of massive lakes, merpeople, grindylows, and a glaring lack of underwater observation methods, but then it dawned on him all at once and he thought someone would need to have been constructed out of unyielding metal not to feel their heart give way.


The thing he’d miss the most.

“Oh Patrick,” he mumbled, and the purple-haired young man smiled, which was always an inexplicably beautiful sight.

“I t-thought you’d like that.”

“I really do.”

It was Patrick who leaned forward then and kissed him, his hands on either side of Augustus’ face as his practiced lips moved gently across his own. It made Gus’ heart melt even further, though it gave a significant jolt when Patrick moved to straddle his waist while simultaneously deepening the kiss.


In spite of his sudden nerves, Augustus drew Patrick nearer, running his hand up his boyfriend’s back and opening his mouth when he felt Patrick’s tongue run lightly across his bottom lip. He tasted sweet like apples again, a fact that Augustus rather enjoyed exploring as they continued to exchange increasingly heated kisses.

Without thinking about it, Augustus lifted his hips to tentatively move against him, causing Patrick to let out a barely audible moan. He moved his hand from Gus’ face down his chest and to his waist, where his long, slender fingers slipped beneath the hem of Augustus’ shirt and grazed his bare skin. Augustus felt his breath catch, his eyes squeezing tighter shut, but at the same time his nerves sparked anew. This must have shown more than he’d presumed because Patrick moved his hand back over his clothes and softened their kisses, his lips gingerly meeting Gus’ before roving down his jawline instead.

“Sorry,” Augustus mumbled with a second wince of embarrassment that was only made worse by how obvious it was that he’d been enjoying this.


“D-don’t worry about it,” Patrick assured him a little breathlessly, and then pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, but Augustus couldn’t help but do so at least a little. After all, the purple-haired young man wasn’t a stranger to any of this, and Gus…well, was—a fact which admittedly seemed to bother him a lot more than Patrick, but shattered his confidence all the same.

“I do though,” Augustus mumbled, his face feeling hot as he awkwardly shifted his position. “I do because you’ve already done all this before.”

“D-done what?” Patrick asked innocently, leaving soft, yet lingering kisses down his neck.

“Patrick,” he groaned, finding it difficult to stay on the already uncomfortable topic when he was doing that.


The purple-haired young man stopped, pulling back to glance at Augustus unsurely before asking, “What does it m-m-m-matter if I have? D-does it really change anything?”

“No. Well…sort of. I mean—I don’t know.” Augustus heavily sighed. “I guess I feel like I need to at least…match that level, or something.”

Patrick’s granite-gray eyes briefly widened in surprise and then a small crease appeared between his brows as he inquired, “Because you…you feel like y-y-you’re not as good as anyone else I’ve b-b-been with if you don’t?”

Augustus closed his eyes. That was actually exactly how he felt. Add the fact that he was quite nervous about fucking something up or making a fool of himself and Patrick may as well have been a mind-reader.


“Well,” Patrick began, gingerly cradling Augustus’ head as he looked down at him, “it m-m-may not change how you feel, but know that, in other ways, y-y-you’ve already bested them all by miles, and….” He paused, a sly smirk pulling at the corners of his lips as he bent low and breathed into Augustus’ ear, “and as much as I’m d-dying for you to fuck me—”

Augustus’ heart stopped, a sure sign that he was going to die right then immediately.

Patrick suppressed a smile upon seeing his face, quickly adopting an apologetic expression before he continued seriously, “I d-d-don’t mind waiting, Gus. I honestly don’t and n-never have. I w-w-want you to feel comfortable and I….” He hesitated, briefly chewing his bottom lip before concluding, “I really enjoy just b-b-being with you.”

Augustus cleared his throat, finding it very difficult to attend to the second part of what Patrick had said and not the first. “You’re too good to me,” he finally managed to express, which made his boyfriend let out a short, nervous laugh.

“I often feel the s-s-same way about you,” he confessed.


Augustus looked curiously back up at Patrick, who took the opportunity to wrap his slender arms around his neck and capture his lips with his own. It was fairly quick kiss, but nevertheless it made Augustus’ stomach flutter before his boyfriend moved off of his lap to sit beside him once more. “N-no pressure, no f-f-feeling bad, okay?” he asked hopefully.

“Okay,” Augustus quietly replied, and then reached up to brush Patrick’s bangs out of his eyes, but he must have moved too fast or otherwise caught his boyfriend off guard because he abruptly flinched—and badly too.

Though admittedly thrown off by his reaction Augustus hastened to apologize, but Patrick shook his head, looking embarrassed and oddly frustrated as he quickly said, “It’s okay. Just—d-d-d-didn’t see—”


“Sorry,” he breathed again, unable to help it, and Patrick nodded, but still seemed down on himself, so Augustus took his hand in both of his and squeezed it comfortingly. It wasn’t his fault he was easily startled and Gus, knowing this about him, should have been more careful.

“J-jeez….I do n-n-n-nothing to h-help the f-f-f-fact that y-you’re stressed, d-d-do I?” he asked, and Augustus felt his eyebrows furrow, both at Patrick’s worsening stammer and his despairing tone.

“I’m not—“


Don’t,” Patrick firmly interjected, taking his hand away and catching Augustus by surprise. “You d-d-d-don’t have to tell me why you’re stressed, but quit l-lying to my face and t-t-t-telling me you’re not, when it’s obvious that you’re at least b-bothered by something.”

Augustus slunk down in his seat, feeling rather like a puppy who’d been scolded for tearing a hole into a couch cushion. Not to mention feeling bad because he only ever wanted to make Patrick happy, but apparently seemed to be failing at that on top of everything else right now too.

It was a particularly bitter pill to swallow, for as fucking stressful as everything else felt nowadays, Patrick had always managed to be the one aspect of his life that Augustus could depend on to be fairly free of worry. Being with Patrick made him forget everything and now he was bringing it all up and it was the last thing in the world that Augustus wanted right now. It would only upset them both.


“It w-would be a lot easier to stay a-a-annoyed with you if you weren’t so damn cute,” Patrick grumbled, looking away and folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m not trying to be cute,” Augustus protested, sitting back up.

“That’s the p-problem—you’re cute without even t-t-trying,” the purple-haired young man explained in exasperation, and Augustus didn’t know whether he should laugh or blush, but regardless ended up doing a bit of both.

Patrick sighed then, glancing over at Augustus with a helpless sort of expression. “Just—it’s okay, alright? I get it, I g-g-guess, but…if there’s anything I c-c-can do to help, let me know, Gus. I…I w-want to help.”

“Be with me.”

“That’s too easy,” Patrick responded with a small smile, and Augustus couldn’t help but smile too at the sight.


“Be with me,” the dark-haired young man repeated, closing the space between them, “and everything else falls away.”

Patrick frowned, and Augustus knew that he must have been wondering what ‘everything else’ was, but he still didn’t want to talk about it. Not only because he wanted to spare his easily worried boyfriend and not only because he wanted to pretend for a moment that none of it existed, but also because he wasn’t sure where to begin or how to explain it when he barely even understood it all himself.

“If t-t-that’s w-w-what you want,” Patrick agreed with some difficulty, his stammer inexplicably worsening again.

Augustus took Patrick’s hand in his, kissing the side of his head, his cheek, and then his jaw before he murmured close to his ear, “Being with you is always what I’ll want.”


* * * * *



When Gemma made her way home late that night she was both mentally and physically exhausted. Between the three classes she had back to back that day, the two hour class she had after a quick lunch break, the four hours spent in the library trying to catch up with as much homework as possible, and the general massive effort it’d taken to pull herself together after her silly meltdown that morning, Gemma wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of the week.

Lamenting both her inability to do that and the fact that it was only Monday, Gemma climbed the few stairs up to the small porch, swung her backpack around to her front to retrieve her keys, and then unlocked the front door and stepped inside. While typically she would have been assaulted by a multitude of florescent lights, the only light on in the house was the subtle blue glow from the living room television. This was somewhat odd as neither she nor her brother watched much T.V., but it became less strange when Gemma caught sight of the fact that Patrick was over. The two were in fact sound asleep on the sofa.


Turning around, Gemma locked the door as quietly as possible and then set her backpack down before stepping further into the house.

She approached the couch, debating waking the two in case they hadn’t meant to fall asleep or in case they’d prefer going upstairs which had to be a lot more comfortable, but between how content Patrick looked nestled closely to her brother and the protective way Augustus held onto him to ensure he didn’t fall, they looked much too sweet and peaceful for Gemma to bring herself to do so.

Instead, she carefully picked up the remote from the side table, turned off the television, and then took out her phone to light her path as she turned around to sneak up the stairs and into her bedroom.


Once inside, she again closed the door quietly behind her and then switched on one of her bedside table lamps. Figuring they probably wouldn’t hear it so long as she kept the volume low, she opened up the music library on her phone and pressed “Play,” allowing the soft tunes to chase away the noiseless heaviness of her room.


Gemma brushed her teeth, washed her face, took two sleeping pills to ensure she wasn’t kept awake by unhelpful thoughts, changed into her pajamas, and then set an alarm on her phone before climbing into bed. There, she turned off the light, hugged her pillow close, and tried to let the entrancing sounds of the music soothe her. In truth she’d been hoping to talk to her brother for a bit, but she likely wouldn’t have felt comfortable doing so with Patrick over anyway since, given how badly she’d treated him in the beginning, he was still quite wary around her.

Perhaps it was good that Augustus was asleep though because Gemma knew she’d been relying on him too heavily as of late and the fact that her twin wouldn’t push her away even if he could use a break was even more reason to ensure that she herself backed off sometimes. Her brother was often too kind for his own good and she needed to make sure she never took advantage of this…even if it would have been nice to reminisce about their grandfather and even if it would have comforting to be reminded by someone other than herself that she wasn’t stupid or pathetic for feeling the way she did as of late.

Gemma sniffled, wiping her eyes and shutting off her music before turning around and hugging her other, cooler pillow instead.

Relax, she gently thought to herself. As the song that had been playing insisted, “Tomorrow will be kinder.


* * * * *


Gemma woke up late the next morning and had to scramble to shower and get ready, cursing the fact that her phone had died in the middle of the night, but mostly cursing herself for having forgotten to plug it in. There was still an hour before her first class, but she had originally planned to go to the library early and get in a couple extra hours of studying for her exam and now she was going to be lucky if she got an extra thirty minutes to look over her notes.

Wincing as she tried to untangle her hair, she finally gave up and tied it back up before exiting her bedroom. The muffled music she’d been hearing became instantly louder—an alternative rock song that sounded vaguely familiar from the previous times her brother had probably played it. Though to be honest she was surprised it wasn’t dubstep or electronica blaring throughout the house.


As Gemma crossed the dining room though it became apparent that perhaps it was Augustus’ boyfriend who had chosen the music as he was not only still there, but also sort of dancing in place and bobbing his head to the song as he picked up a stack of finished waffles to place on the small kitchen table.

Her brother, meanwhile, was starting up the coffee maker, but glanced over at him when Patrick began to sing along: “Though the storms and the light….Baby, you’ve stood by my side, and life is wine.”

Gemma curiously watched as Augustus’ expression shifted to one of puzzlement before he commented, “I just realized….You don’t stammer when you sing, do you?”


Patrick set the waffles back down and then turned toward Augustus before shrugging a bit. “N-not usually,” he confirmed somewhat bashfully. “It’s…different. I c-c-can’t explain it. Um….I dunno if you’ve n-noticed, but it’s the same with w-w-whispering too. And uh, I guess also if you p-p-put like…noise canceling headphones on me. So I just need to live in a m-m-musical or a colony of whisperers or…yeah I d-d-don’t even know,” he finished with a slight laugh at his expense.

“I’ve never minded your stammer,” Augustus assured him, and then reached out to hook his finger into one of Patrick’s belt loops and gently draw him nearer. “It is…interesting to hear your voice like that though. It’s—” He paused, carefully considering his words before he smirked a bit and concluded, “It’s different. I can’t explain it.”


Patrick smiled in amusement and then reached up to presumably kiss her brother—presumably because Gemma figured that was a fantastic time to race out the door as fast as humanly possible. In fact, she felt vaguely mortified for even having stood there as long as she did and so bolted perhaps a little too quickly because she immediately crashed into one of the dining room chairs.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she felt two sets of eyes fall upon her. “Just…going.”

Before she could take even a single step though she heard Augustus ask, “You’re not going to eat something?”


Gemma winced, still feeling rather embarrassed as she slowly turned around to face her twin, but her feelings were nothing compared to Patrick’s it seemed as his eyes were determinedly downcast and the barely visible tips of his ears were bright red and clashing profoundly with his vividly dyed-purple hair.

Feeling especially bad now Gemma hastily answered, “I’ll grab something after class.”

Augustus fell quiet, but before the curly-haired brunette could add a reassuring comment Patrick glanced at her brother and then quickly looked to her and suggested, “You should stay. There’s um, p-p-p-plenty—” He took a breath and then hastily finished, “Plenty of waffles.” Both Gemma and her brother looked at him in surprise, not only because he of all people was trying to convince the curly-haired brunette to stay, but also because that had probably been the longest sentence he’d ever directed toward her.


Gemma bit her lip as she debated. She didn’t want to stay if it would make Patrick uncomfortable, but at the same time maybe this was an opportunity to show him that, despite her previous behavior, she didn’t actually hate him?

“Um, I…I suppose I could have one.”

She watched curiously then as Patrick picked up the plate of waffles from the counter and, peering at her from over the stack hesitantly asked, “Only one?”

There was something oddly adorable and innocent about the sight, and so it was that Gemma helplessly found herself correcting, “Well, or…or maybe two.”

Patrick smiled, looking quite pleased with himself. He put down the waffles then to grab another ceramic plate from the cabinet.


He was interrupted though when Augustus came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing the side of the head. Patrick blushed, mumbling something Gemma couldn’t quite make out, though whatever it was caused her brother to smile.

Feeling torn between finding this sweet and finding this awkward, Gemma hastened to busy herself by fetching three coffee mugs to prepare.


The three eventually sat down with Gemma still feeling somewhat uneasy, but then Augustus began casually talking about how they should invite Tobias out for dinner soon because he feared that due to his “dorm-living experiment” he was solely living off of cereal and Ramen. Patrick followed up by jokingly asking in a small voice if other food groups even existed and soon enough, though some awkwardness remained, they were laughing and talking as if they’d all always been friends.

It was a little weird because it was unfamiliar, but it also made Gemma feel a lot happier than she’d been in some time. Most of all though it made her hopeful that despite her private skepticism, the day was starting out kinder after all.


* * * * *



Augustus felt a little lighter when he left the house early that afternoon freshly showered and dressed to go to his first class. He’d spent the night with Patrick in his arms, saw him and his sister getting along for the first time since he and Patrick had started dating over a year ago, and had even heard Gemma genuinely laugh, which was a sound that had been far too rare as of late. Not to mention the fiery kiss he and Patrick had exchanged before his boyfriend had to leave to get ready for class himself was still buzzing at the forefront of his mind, leaving Augustus’ thoughts wandering in distracting, but not unpleasant ways.

Perhaps his thoughts diverted Augustus’ attention a little too much though because the next thing he noticed was that he’d completely passed the Fine Arts Building.


Muttering a curse under his breath, Augustus doubled back, making it to class at the same time as the professor. He greeted her and then took a seat, briefly glancing at the door to see if Patrick was nearby. It was the only class they shared together that semester and even though the two had parted barely an hour ago Augustus was already looking forward to seeing him again. However, his familiar mess of purple hair was as of yet nowhere in sight.


While waiting Augustus took out his notebook, which was about as much notes as it was idle sketches and doodles. His favorite drawings were not his own though, but the ones Patrick would occasionally sneak over and pen in the margins of his notes. His attention was drawn to a sketch now that Patrick had done after abruptly switching notebooks with him. In Patrick’s notebook Augustus had drawn a silly sketch of himself filing a police report for a stolen notebook, but the one that Augustus had received in return was infinitely better: Beneath the heading “Vincent van Gogh,” which Augustus had written in cursive, was a sketch of van Gogh sitting grumpily on a cloud while an ear with angel wings fluttered about his bandaged head.

It was in such moments that Augustus would find himself thinking of the very real possibility that Patrick was all that he could ever want or need in his life. It was a scary thought—one that he fell in and out of frequently as he tried to figure out what exactly his feelings were when he had so little with which to compare them.


“Hey,” a breathless voice suddenly said from beside him, and the dark-haired young man turned and looked up to see Patrick looking a little windswept, but happy as he took his usual seat next to Augustus.

“Hey,” he said back, and the two exchanged meaningful glances and smiled at one another.

It made it awfully tempting to steal a kiss from his gorgeous boyfriend, but sitting in class was probably not the most appropriate setting to do so. Instead, Gus returned his attention to the sketches he’d been looking at as Patrick leaned over to retrieve his own notebook and pen from his backpack.


“You know.…” Augustus began as soon as Patrick righted himself, “if I fail this class, I’m blaming you entirely.” He gestured pointedly to Patrick’s drawing and his boyfriend laughed.

“Mm,” Patrick hummed in amusement, and then took Augustus’ notebook from him and added a scroll with angel wings next to van Gogh. On it, he wrote ‘Augustus’ Grade.’

“Since my grade is in heaven, doesn’t that technically mean it’s good?” Augustus challenged as Patrick handed his notebook back to him.

“Yes,” Patrick confirmed, and then shyly smiled over at him and added, “I’ve just g-g-given you luck.” The young man with the perpetually dyed purple hair directed his attention to the professor then, who had begun to speak, but Augustus’ eyes lingered on him a moment longer as the same, familiar possibility once again flittered into his mind: All he could ever want or need.


* * * * *


When Patrick and Augustus left their class the sun was high in the sky, but there was an undeniable chilliness that had most students zipping up their jackets and stuffing their hands into their pockets. As it was, Patrick slid one arm around Augustus’ waist and leaned into his warmth, causing the dark-haired young man to smile and hold him even closer.

That smile vanished though when he all of a sudden heard a smooth, highly confident voice announce, “Fancy running into you again—though not literally this time.”


Augustus felt his face redden as he caught sight of Isaac grinning handsomely at him. His strikingly bright hazel eyes darted to Patrick, where they lingered for a brief moment before he moved off the planter he’d been leaning against and made his way over.

Patrick’s arm slowly dropped from Gus’ waist as the stranger approached, an apprehensive expression crossing his pale face.


“Isaac Santiago Taveras,” the tanned young man greeted, his name rolling fluidly off his tongue. He held out his hand to Patrick and then smirked. “I’m an old friend of Augustus.”

The purple-haired young man glanced up at him through his bangs and then hesitantly took his hand. “Patrick O’Doherty,” he said quietly and then let go, already looking highly embarrassed.

Isaac shot Augustus a questioning look, clearly finding this odd, but the dark-haired young man didn’t respond, instead watching as Patrick pulled his phone halfway out of the pocket of his jeans to check it.


“I have to go if I’m g-g-going to m-make it to my shift on time,” he said to Augustus, his cheeks steadily turning pink.

“Okay. Text me when you get there?”


Patrick nodded and then glanced at Isaac once more, adding, “N-nice to meet you,” and then hurrying to go, but Augustus took hold of his hand, giving it a squeeze. His boyfriend paused, smiling up at him and giving his hand a squeeze in return before setting off.


“Shy?” Isaac inquired, approaching the dark-haired young man as Patrick hurried off.

Augustus hesitated, absently moving his hair out of his face before answering, “Around people he doesn’t know very well.”

“That’s cute,” Isaac remarked with a tight smirk, and Augustus frowned, but before he could say anything the brunet asked, “Is he the jealous sort too?”

“Jealous? No….No, not that I’ve—”

“Good,” Isaac interjected with a chuckle, “because I was going to ask if you wanted to grab some lunch or a coffee or something. As old friends, obviously—to catch up.”



“What? You’re not allowed to have friends?” Isaac taunted, leaning toward him, and Augustus was again dismayed to feel his heart skip a beat.

“I’m allowed to have friends,” he hastened to make clear, taking a half-step back and beginning to feel annoyed. “It’s just—”

“You’re not interested in being friends with me,” Isaac stated succinctly. Augustus opened his eyes, surveying him warily, but the brunet’s face held no traces of anger.


Instead, Isaac cleared his throat and then slowly followed up with, “That’s…actually why I want to talk to you, Gus. I want to talk about what happened between us. I know that’s probably the last thing you want. Hell, you probably never even wanted to see me again and it probably sucks for you that I’m here now, but you deserve to know. I owe you that much.”

Augustus pressed his lips together, sticking his hands into his pockets. He could not deny a single word that Isaac had said without lying through his teeth, so he instead he asked evenly, “And if I’m not interested in hearing what happened?”


“Then I’m gonna be selfish and tell you anyway because it’s driving me crazy that you don’t know.”

Augustus let out a breath, feeling somewhat irritated again at this lack of choice. After all, about 80% of him was firmly against hearing Isaac out. Not only because Gus hated the way that he behaved around him, but also because he didn’t care to know the details of their falling out. As far as he was concerned there was nothing to say. Augustus had thought Isaac was interested then; could have sworn Isaac was interested; and then the minute he decided to make a move Isaac was pointing out a turtle on the bank and the next thing Augustus knew he had moved to another state and they’d barely spoken again. They weren’t memories on which he cared to dwell, especially as he now realized they were probably at least partly to blame for his shaky confidence in relationships ever since. It was a wonder that he and Patrick had happened at all. Also, he didn’t like turtles very much anymore.

Damn you, Isaac.


“What are you doing here anyway? I thought you didn’t start until next semester,” Augustus commented, stalling.

Isaac arched an eyebrow at him, his bright hazel eyes surveying him closely. When Augustus continued to keep his gaze downcast though he dryly answered, “I had a meeting with an advisor about what credits would and wouldn’t transfer. Now do you want to comment on the weather too, or can we cut to the chase?”


“Look, I’m not fucking interested in digging up the past!” Augustus snapped, surprising even himself. “What’s done is done and none of it even matters anymore. I mean, did it hurt? Yes, it fucking sucked. I’d really thought that you, you know, liked me or whatever, but you didn’t and that’s fine. It’s always been fine, so just fucking drop it, okay?”


Isaac grimaced and soon after Augustus felt his face burn hotly as he noticed that several people had stopped to stare, alarmed by or simply curious about the heated conversation taking place literally right in front of one of the most heavily frequented buildings on campus.

To make matters worse, Isaac cleared his throat and quietly replied, “You’re wrong, Gus. I did like you.”

Augustus’ eyes shot up to meet his and for a second he seriously considered hitting him, but his anger was admittedly more directed toward himself than anyone else because instead of not giving a shit like he so wanted to, he felt a sudden spike of curiosity. He tried to ignore it, but this only seemed to make the feeling that much more insistent. It nagged at every corner of his brain, poking and prodding him to seek the answers to his questions until he simply couldn’t take it anymore.


Letting out a frustrated groan, Augustus grabbed Isaac’s wrist and proceeded to lead him away from the increasingly nosy bystanders.

Most likely because he was too taken aback to react, Isaac followed him without a word.


Once they were successfully hidden amongst overgrown bushes in the much less frequented back of the building, Augustus let go of him and then folded his arms across his chest. “Talk,” he said sharply. “You have one minute.”

Isaac did not begin to speak right away, instead absently rubbing his wrist and causing a crease of concern to form between Gus’ brows. “Wait, did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to—”

“What? No,” Isaac interrupted with a slight laugh. He shook his head in mild incredulity and then took in a steadying breath. “Fine. I’ll try to hurry then. So….You said that I wasn’t interested, but you couldn’t be more wrong. That day at the lake, when you leaned in to—”

Augustus preemptively cringed, and Isaac raised an eyebrow at him before firmly continuing, “That day at the lake, when you leaned in to kiss me, even though I wanted it more than anything—I panicked.”

“Why?” Augustus asked, and though his retort was given without hesitation, it wasn’t without some embarrassment at the distant, but still vivid memory.


Isaac shrugged, but the gesture was inconsistent with the obvious discomfort on the deeply tanned brunet’s face. He glanced at the wall, taking apparent interest in a small spider that was making its way up the stone surface. “You were the only one who knew then,” he said. “You were the only person who knew I was gay—I hadn’t even come out to my own parents yet and I just…I fucking lost my nerve.”

Augustus pressed his lips together. He could see why that might have made him hesitant and it was certainly concordant with what he knew about Isaac’s situation then, but it still wasn’t coming together in a way that fully made sense.

The spider suddenly fell, causing Isaac to automatically jump back and then scowl at his own reaction. Augustus almost laughed, but it felt like a really inappropriate reaction given their current conversation.


“Fuckin’ spiders,” Isaac muttered, and did not take a step closer to the wall. “Whatever. That night, when I came home…I felt so guilty about doing that to you and so frustrated about hiding that I told them. I didn’t really mean to, but it slipped out and that’s where I fucked up. Well, that was the second time I fucked up because I should have accepted that kiss from you too.”


“What do you mean that’s ‘where you fucked up’?” Augustus pressed, feeling rather clammy despite the frigid temperature.

“My parents flipped,” Isaac bluntly replied. “I figured they would though, which was why I didn’t tell them in the first place. They started shouting bullshit about being tempted by the devil and immorality and I don’t even know what the fuck else because I wasn’t listening by that point, but then they did something I didn’t anticipate: They threatened to kick me out of the house.”


Isaac shook his head, tapping the tip of his shoe against the dirt in agitation before he sighed and mechanically intoned, “That’s when you came up. I think I mentioned something about how I’d just go to your place or whatever—you know, trying to pretend like I wasn’t fazed when I was actually scared out of my fucking mind, and that’s when they decided that…that you were the problem, I guess.”

“Next thing I know we’ve moving to my aunt’s place in Lucky Palms and they’re telling me that if I ever talked to you again, that’d be it.” He glanced at Augustus and then looked away before bitterly stating, “I was a coward. I mean I told you I was moving, but I know that wasn’t enough. I was a fucking coward and I’m sorry, Gus. I really, really am.”


Augustus stared down at his shoes and ran his tongue slowly over his teeth, despairing over the fact that as much as he wanted to be, he just wasn’t angry with Isaac. On the contrary, his stomach twisted uncomfortably and his heart sunk as he thought about what had happened to him. After all, Augustus knew all too well what that fear had been like—could still taste its acridity as he’d tried to hide it himself; as he begged his overly perceptive twin to promise not to tell anyone after she’d figured it out; as he stood completely terrified after he’d forced out the words in front of his entire family. Of course, in his case, all the fear had been for nothing. His family hadn’t batted an eye; hadn’t loved him any less; and were as proud of him as they ever were.

Not so for Isaac.

Augustus had been fortunate and it was so extremely fucked up that any one of them should have ever felt afraid of something so deeply a part of themselves and so out of their control, but it was also their reality, and he’d been on the lucky side.

Not so for Isaac.


“You don’t have to apologize—it wasn’t your fault,” Augustus finally said glumly. “I don’t think you’re a coward either. You were 15 and it was an impossible situation that you never should have had to go through. I’m…really sorry that happened to you.”


Augustus chanced a glance at Isaac. He looked fairly taken aback, his mouth slightly agape, but no words leaving it. For the first time, Isaac genuinely didn’t seem to know what to say.

The dark-haired young man looked back down at the ground, sticking his hands into his pockets and running the sole of his shoe over a small rock. He didn’t know what else to say either. Truthfully, he didn’t even want to be standing here any longer, but it felt far too rude to walk away now.

Isaac cleared his throat once again, reaching up to absently tug on one of his ear piercings. “It’s whatever now,” he said with a slight shrug. “I mean, I eventually got sick of sneaking around and having to pretend I was someone I wasn’t, so I stood up to them, I guess. Told them my senior year that they could either accept me as I was, or I’d walk out the door myself and never come back. I was 18 by then—they couldn’t stop me.”

“….and?” Augustus hesitantly prompted when he failed to continue.


“Ahh, well,” Isaac awkwardly began, “after shouting for hours my mom started crying and that made me cry and then my dad started crying and in the end….They asked me to stay.”


“Yeah….I doubt they actually accept it, but I can tell they’re trying now and….I don’t know. I appreciate that. I mean I realize they don’t sound like great people after that, but they’re not all bad and I still love them so….” Isaac’s expression grew momentarily defensive and then he sighed dejectedly and mumbled, “I guess that sounds pretty stupid.”


“No, it doesn’t. I mean….They’re your family and you said so yourself—they’re trying,” Augustus pointed out, and leaned against the wall to lessen the weight of his backpack on his shoulders, but the casual gesture made Isaac abruptly tense up. “….are you okay?”

“Ah…yeah, just….” He eyed the wall suspiciously, and Augustus found himself having to bite back another laugh as he realized what was making Isaac uncomfortable.

“The spiders?” Augustus knowingly inquired in a playfully teasing tone.

Isaac rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Man whatever, you can lean against a fuckin’ spider hive all you want—”

“Spider hive?”

“Colony? Nest? Fuckin’ lair?” Isaac attempted to amend, and shook his head in disbelief when Augustus abruptly burst out into laughter.


“HAHAHAHA. Lair. Hahaha. Sorry, I know they bother you. Sorry. It’s just—” He took a breath, but then ended up continuing to laugh anyway. “It’s just I’m suddenly picturing like thousands of spiders hiding in the shadows with little bandanas and tiny swords or something.”


“That sounds terrifying,” Isaac pointed out seriously, and Augustus laughed even harder. So hard that he didn’t even notice the soft smile that appeared upon the brunet’s face as he watched him. “I missed this,” he said quietly.


Augustus’ laughter died down some and he gave Isaac a curious look before asking, “What was that?”

“I uh…I said I missed this,” Isaac repeated, giving a bit of a nervous chuckle. “Us, being friends, I mean.”

“Oh,” Augustus said, and then shuffled his feet a bit before admitting, “Yeah. Me too.”

The two young men looked at one another for an extended moment before Isaac let out a heavy sigh. “Anyway, that was it. That’s what happened. I did like you, but I was a coward, even if you say I wasn’t. And now….Well, you have a boyfriend, I see.” He paused and glanced at Augustus, his expression turning quite sincere. “In fact, if you want to forget about that campus tour you offered to give me next semester, go ahead. No hard feelings.”


Augustus hesitated before responding. On the one hand, this was his chance to put the past back where it belonged, but on the other, he genuinely did miss the friendship that they’d had.

The problem, however, was that this friendship had always been in a “gray area.” There’d been far too many moments in which their eyes would meet; far too many “accidental” brushes across the other’s skin; far too many questionably innocent comments and not so platonic hugs; and even blatant instances where one would lean against the other as they stole hours alone and talked. All too much gray and why “friendship” was never, and would never, be the right word.

Still, it was different now, wasn’t it? It’d been so much time. They’d moved on and so much had changed, including themselves. Not to mention that again it was only a tour and if it ended up being too awkward they had no obligation to ever meet up again.

Thinking of this, Augustus found himself answering, “That’s silly. I can still show you around….point out the locations of all the spider hives on campus, you know?”


“You’re hysterical,” Isaac deadpanned, and Augustus couldn’t help but laugh again.

“Maybe I should consider a backup career as a comedian too!”

Isaac shook his head and chuckled. “Yeah, maybe,” he agreed, and then rubbed his shoulder before adding with a slight frown, “I should get going.”

“Me too,” Augustus agreed, his own shoulders and legs aching a bit from standing in one place and with his backpack for so long.


“Until next semester then, Gus—unless administration fucks something up,” Isaac said with a smirk, his bright eyes twinkling.

“Until then,” Augustus echoed.

The two stood standing for an awkward second longer and then Augustus did this stupid sort of wave and turned around, walking fast and with burning ears until he could no longer see the all too familiar brunet.


His heart seemed to be beating a little too hard, but maybe this was normal after having learned that such an impactful event in one’s life was actually nothing like how you’d always assumed. Besides, it was fine because Isaac knew that he had a boyfriend now at least and—



Augustus hastily grabbed his phone out of his pocket, wincing when he saw six unread messages from Patrick.

Patrick's Texts (Received)

Augustus took a breath and then carefully typed out and sent back his responses.

Screenshot-1388Patrick's Texts (Send)Screenshot-1396

* * * * *



Whether it was the positive start to her morning or the hours she had spent pouring over the material the previous night, Gemma rather felt as though she’d aced the exam she’d taken in her first class. She felt so good in fact that during the break she had between classes she called up her mom to talk and ended up getting to speak to both of her parents as her dad had apparently decided to surprise her at work that day by dropping in for lunch. They weren’t able to chat long as her mother’s lunch break had been coming to end, but still she’d enjoyed talking to them while they could and thought it was very lucky that she had managed to catch the two together.


Then it was off to her next class, during which Gemma participated and became quite interested in what they were learning, to the point where the margins of her notes were peppered with further questions she planned to look up the answers to later. She didn’t even go out of her way to avoid the young man with the blue and black framed glasses as she usually did, though she still hadn’t quite been able to meet his eyes when she passed him on her way to lab.

All in all though, everything felt okay, so as Gemma donned her lab coat and goggles before grabbing a set of samples to test, she barely even noticed the glances she got from her fellow research assistants. Nor did she notice the whispers they exchanged or the way a certain redhead had stopped smiling the instant she had walked into the room.


Instead Gemma got wholly absorbed in her work, her mind becoming keenly focused as she realized that the patterns of data that were emerging seemed to lend support to the new hypotheses Dr. Saint had formulated. This was rather exciting, so even though there wasn’t yet enough information to confirm this she couldn’t help but run some initial analyses through SPSS. What was even more exciting was that there seemed to be another trend taking form that he hadn’t predicted, and Gemma was looking forward to seeing where that would go in the weeks to come.

As into her work as she was, she barely noticed the hours melt by until she felt a vague ache in her neck from having been bent over the computer screen for so long. She rubbed at it, realizing that she also felt quite hungry, which became less surprising when she realized it was already 9:00 P.M and that all but one of her team members remained.


Deciding this would be a good time to stop, Gemma put away her things and had just finished hanging up her lab coat when she heard spoken from behind her, “Hey, could we talk?”

Feeling perplexed, Gemma turned around only to come face to face with Kelsey. She too had gotten rid of her lab gear, the slight red imprint of her goggles still visible on her freckled face as she observed Gemma with an expression that did not look particularly kind. Noting this, the curly-haired brunette cautiously replied, “It’s getting pretty late. Do you think we could talk another time?”

“It’ll only take a minute,” Kelsey assured her.

Gemma’s brow furrowed as she tried to formulate hypotheses as to what Kelsey could want. It wasn’t as if the two were friends, but it wasn’t as if the two were on bad terms either, so she couldn’t imagine what was making the normally bubbly redhead look so unfriendly. Perhaps Gemma had logged something incorrectly or was leaving her lab station messy or something? Automatically, she turned her head to examine the area where she usually worked, but the space looked even neater than it had been when she’d arrived.


More puzzled than ever, Gemma glanced back at the redhead, giving her a reluctant, fleeting smile. “I suppose we could talk for a minute.”

“Great. Walk with me?” Kelsey asked, almost sounding like her typical self.

“Alright,” Gemma agreed. She bent over to grab her backpack and then hoisted it onto her shoulders before following Kelsey out of the lab and down the hallway. They headed toward the back exit, which Gemma did not think much of because it was technically closer to the lab anyway.


It was when they stepped out into the night though and Kelsey glanced around that Gemma’s suspicions rose. She made to take a step to the right, not wanting to corner herself in, but just as she had begun to move Kelsey abruptly spun on her heel and snapped, “You’re a fucking bitch, Gemma!”

The curly-haired brunette blinked, initially startled, but then she sourly muttered, “Good talk,” before definitively turning to leave. Realizing her intentions, the redhead side-stepped and blocked her exit.

What the hell?


“You slept with Takashi!” Kelsey hissed so furiously that spit flew from her mouth.

Gemma grit her teeth tightly, making a show of wiping her cheek before coolly retorting, “I know neither why that matters nor why that would be any of your business.”

Kelsey’s pale, freckled face turned red with embarrassment and Gemma once again tried to get away, but this time the redhead grabbed her wrist.


“Don’t touch me!” Gemma hissed, wrenching her arm away, but Kelsey responded by pushing her back against the wall and blocking her in once more.

Adrenaline shot through the brunette’s system, her back giving a twinge of pain from having been banged against the stone wall behind her. She was quite sure that the redhead had lost the capacity for rationality, which made her particularly threatening.


Regardless, Gemma stood her ground, glaring defiantly up at Kelsey and refusing to let even the slightest ounce more of her fear to show. “I still fail to see why any of this matters,” she stated, folding her arms firmly across her chest.

“It matters,” Kelsey began to answer in a shrill voice, “because I must have mentioned about a hundred fucking times that I liked him and then you go off picking him up like it’s nothing! You’re such a slut!”

Gemma raised one eyebrow high at the irate young woman before her, her own temper now raging like a chemical fire, though she tried to remain perfectly impassive. “I don’t recall you ever saying that,” she started to say, but Kelsey cut her off with a rude, exaggerated snort, clearly doubting the sincerity of her words.


This only served to irritate Gemma further for she was telling the truth. She narrowed her eyes and then icily continued, “But I understand now why you’re angry. After all, by your logic if I’m a slut then Takashi most certainly is one too and it must be so very difficult to be as besotted as you are with a person who clearly demonstrates little interest in monogamy.”

Kelsey’s face turned an unattractive shade of puce as she defensively stated, “Well, maybe not with someone like you, but—”


“Excuse you!” Gemma fiercely interrupted, taking a step forward and successfully making the redhead back up. “Do you actually believe you’re all that fucking special? Do you actually believe you’re all that special to Takashi when he didn’t cast a single glance in your direction that night? When he approached me, rather than you? When it was me he left with, not you? Do you actually believe in your deluded perception of reality that he was somehow thinking of you when we were up fucking half the night? If so, now I just feel sorry for you.”


Gemma anticipated Kelsey’s response about a second too late, and so it was that Kelsey, in a fit of rage, reached up and slapped her so hard that bright flashes of color appeared before her eyes.

It did not take long, however, for the curly-haired brunette to smack her right back and furiously yell, “A fucking crush doesn’t mean you own him, Kelsey! You have no rights over him—none! He made his decision. You’re just angry it wasn’t you.”


The redhead reeled, her bright blue eyes rapidly filling with fat tears as she held her hand to her face and took a step away from her. “I hate you so much, Gemma,” she whispered. “You know that? You’re cold and uncaring and I fucking hate you!” she ended in a hysterical shriek.


“Yes well,” Gemma began caustically, her amethyst eyes locking with hers, “as you so kindly pointed out, I really don’t care.”

“UGH!” Kelsey shouted in frustration, literally stomping her foot, and then ran off just as the sobs she’d evidently been holding in finally broke free.


As soon as Gemma could no longer hear the redhead crying she leaned heavily against the wall. Adrenaline was still pulsing through her veins. Her cheek was stinging quite badly. It had likely been scratched by one of Kelsey’s many rings, but Gemma found herself far more distracted by the mental dam that’d been shattered to bits inside her, leaving her distinctly breathless from the onslaught of thoughts and feelings that crashed over her all at once.


She really hadn’t heard Kelsey mention that she liked Takashi. If she had, she never would have pursued him.

Are you sure about that? Look at what you said and did to her just now. You are cold, Gemma. It’s no wonder that no one likes you.

That wasn’t true though. Her family liked her. No, her family loved her; they all did, unconditionally.

That’s because they have to—they’re family, after all.

That was no guarantee though. There were plenty of people who were completely disconnected from their families, blood relationships be damned. Her family was not among them. They loved her anyway, always.

If they weren’t family though, would they still love you? Could they still love someone as awful as you?

She…she wasn’t that awful. They would still love her. Augustus—

Feels sorry for you.


Gemma shakily slid down to the ground, removing her backpack as soon as she touched the browning grass and placing it beside her. She felt sick to her stomach and as if she was going to collapse in on herself like a dying star in the emptiest reaches of space. Pulling her knees tightly up to her chest, Gemma rested her forehead upon them as she drew in short, ragged breaths that were faintly visible in the rapidly cooling night.


Time dragged onward—how long she sat there, she wasn’t sure.

All she was sure of was that if her brother ever did find that genie she would not waste her wish on forgetting a silly, school-girl crush—she would wish that she had never existed and then float away like untethered balloons.



To be continued soon.


64 thoughts on “Generation 5 Special: Augustus and Gemma III”

  1. Ok, can I just say it? I love Gemma, I really do. Did she sound cold when she talked to Kalsey? Yes. But was she right? Also 100% yes. And, like she said, having a crush doesn’t make the person owned by you. And wow, Kalsey actually got physical with someone over that Takashi guy?
    Augustus and Patrick are adorable. They are pretty perfect for each other. I do understand Isaac though– having a family like his couldn’t have been fun. Props for standing up to them, though. I do wonder if he and August are able to just be friends though.

    1. Oh I am right there with you–I really adore Gemma, lol. Is she occasionally cold and rather good at being mean? Most definitely, but she also shows a side of her that’s sweet and so unsure. Not to mention, uh, yes it was said in a mean way, but she was also totally right, like you said! Kelsey SO does not own Takashi and getting physical over that was completely ridiculous. Like no, Kelsey please step back and re-evaluate your life/put things back into perspective. Though, I will say that I can at least see why she’s hurt…She did talk about having a crush on Takashi, but as you’ve noticed Gemma often gets bored and/or lost in her own head during conversations with her fellow lab research assistants and literally didn’t hear her say that. Still though, Kelsey doesn’t own him and handled that situation poorly. Pulling someone aside and shouting at them they’re a “bitch” and then proceeding to shove them against a wall is never good communication! =O

      Aww yes, Augustus and Patrick are quite adorable and seem very well suited for one another ^_^; Seeing them together makes me smile a lot, haha.

      Of course Isaac certainly has his appeal too, doesn’t he? XD And god no, having a family like his was not and is still not fun. Even though they are better, his parents will still occasionally make ignorant comments about it and his mom still tries to “hopefully” set him up with girls and it’s sooooo frustrating because it just doesn’t fucking work like that and ugh. But they are legitimately improving and I think his mom in particular is coming closer to finally understanding. Hopefully! At the very least, like Isaac said, they’re trying.

      As for whether he and Augustus are able to just be friends though…..Well, Augustus wonders the same, but he is willing to give it a shot :X

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

  2. Is it bad that I imagine Patrick’s voice sounding like Patrick from Spongebob or Lofty from Bob the Builder? I feel so mean, because Patrick is such a cutie *sighs*… Anyway, I loved this chapter. As soon as I got the notification that this chapter had been published, I got straight into it. I can’t wait to see what will happen with Gus and Patrick in the next chapters, as well as Gemma.

    1. Haha, well, not “bad” per se, but it actually does speak to a common misperception about people with a stammer that they’re also less intelligent, which is incorrect =) People who stammer/stutter have the same range of intelligence as everyone else–the two aren’t related at all.

      If you’ve noticed, I can’t help but have my blog have a bit of an “education piece” as it’s part of who I am, so I’ve also tried to begin to debunk misunderstandings surrounding substance abuse (particularly alcoholism), depression, suicide, and so on and now I’m adding stammering/stuttering (among other things) to the list too. There’s also a commonly held misperception that stammering is due to being nervous, but that’s not true either….People with a stutter can be anxious about speaking and anxiety can worsen it, but it isn’t the cause. But more on that one later! For now, know that Patrick sounds normal and speaks at an average pace, he just has difficulties getting the words out…like they get “stuck” almost. It’s actually very frustratng for him. Have you ever seen the King’s Speech? It’s a movie obviously so not the most accurate thing in the world and of course every case is different, but it may give you a sense of what it sounds like. You can also try YouTube for examples, but careful with that one as people can post anything, lol. Look for legit sources XD

      Anyway, lol, yes, Patrick is quite cute XD It helps that he’s so enamored with Augustus too, which both consciously and subconsciously makes him want to go that extra mile to look after him, and yes, be sweet to him, haha. It makes me smile a lot ^_^; Gahhh ❤

      So glad that you loved this chapter and that you're looking forward to seeing what happens next! Thank you so much for both reading and commenting!! ❤ ❤

  3. The scene between Gus and Patrick was…wow. I’m speechless. And the way they fell asleep in each other’s arms – *swoons*. I hope Gemma took a picture of them.
    How did it go from talking about lovemaking to an almost-fight? There is no such thing as a worry-free relationship. Everyone eventually learns that – in some instances, that the hard way. He needs to talk to Patrick about it. Who knows, a third party’s perspective in this could prove to be useful. At least Patrick and Gemma are getting along now.
    Why do you do this to me, Lisa? Just I’m enjoying Patrick and Gus being all lovey-dovey, Isaac comes back. Why does he have to be so fine? With those piercing brown eyes, confident smirk, powerful handshake… Why does he have to interrupt their moment? And where did all those nosy, bored university students with-nothing-else-better-to-do come from?
    I understand where Isaac is coming from. It is a scenario I have seen all too often – more often than I’d like. It sucks not being accepted by your own family for being who you are. At least they are trying. Where I come from, being gay is a crime. Some get reported by their own families. People actually get thrown in jail for crimes of conscience.
    Ah, Gemma.
    That scene with Kelsey – I totally saw that coming. I called it! Those death stares were for a reason. One does not pick-up and sleep with their acquaintance/lab partner’s crush – it breaks the ultimate girl code rule #something. Besides, Violence is never the answer. I’m glad they didn’t have a bitch-slapping fest or fight though; Gemma is far too rational for that.
    …ummmm…..Never mind – spoke too soon.
    In the heat of the moment, truer words were been spoken. What she said made perfect sense – a crush on Takashi doesn’t mean that Kelsey owns him or has rights to him. So, yes, she cannot be pissed off that that he choose her instead. Perhaps, if she would just take her own advice and apply it to the Oliver thing…
    On another note – Gemma is mean. It is a good thing that we understand her and love her anyways.
    – “You’re a fucking bitch, Gemma!”
    – “Good talk.”
    I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Thanks, Lisa!

    1. Hehehe, I knowwww ;___; I was dying taking the pictures for that scene. They’re so adorable ;___; Gemma didn’t get a picture of them, but hey, at least I did! 😉 Hahaha XD

      Bahaha, I suppose that topic change was quite a jump, but then again conversations do tend to jump around anyway, especially with people you know well XD Definitely no such thing as a worry-free relationship though and you’re spot-on that Augustus needs to learn that. I think in general he spends too much time trying to smooth everything out in his life, but it’s a losing battle because there will always be wrinkles. In fact, even the process of smoothing out the wrinkles in one area will cause them to arise in another…and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just life! Augustus needs to learn this, and yes, he may end up learning it the hard way. But hey that is one less thing to worry about—Patrick and Gemma are getting along =) That is admittedly pretty big seeing as they’re some of the most important people in his life!

      LOL I know it’s quite mean, isn’t it? 😉 Go from Augustus and Patrick being completely sweet and then BAM, Isaac and gosh it’d be so much better if he was an unappealing person, but he is soooo not, lol. Such an interruption! 😉 And LOL again at the university students suddenly showing up. I realize I naturally take pictures so as to often “cut out” anyone else in them, and as I was putting the pictures in for this chapter I realized that I made it look like they were completely alone and then BAM 20 OTHER PEOPLE IN THE SHOT, WTF. That being said, I even brought in more people than there were to get those pictures, so that just doubled the “WTF” factor, hahahaha. I need to pay more attention to that. As it is though, it makes me personally crack up because they just all of a sudden show up, LOL. *face palm* So sorry, lol. Maybe it’s symbolic though….Augustus didn’t even notice the other people until they started staring. Lmao…>.>

      Ah yes, the fact that Isaac’s parents are trying despite their own strong beliefs really is something and a testament to how much they love their eldest son. That being said, it’s still very difficult and Isaac knows that even now he’s not fully accepted by his family for being who he is and that feels awful, especially given how much he cares for them in return. It’s not a pretty situation by any means and it’s not going to get better overnight. Sometimes Isaac even feels like giving up on it, but for now, it’s still worth the effort. They at least don’t live in a place where it’s considered a crime, but that seems like such a sad thing to be happy about because it’s so ridiculous in the first place that anyone even considers it as such. I feel so sad for LGBTQ individuals where you are =( Then again, even here, it wasn’t all that long ago that being gay was seen as a diagnosable mental disorder and some people still believe it be so/wrong/etc. Bleh. Progress is happening, but too slowly.

      You definitely called it though! Those death states were for a reason. It’s all the more complicated too by the fact that Gemma didn’t know that Kelsey liked Takashi, but Kelsey DID in fact mention it…and Gemma just unfortunately was too lost in her own head to hear it. Still though, even if she had heard it’s completely mean, but I suppose she still could have pursued him because again, a crush doesn’t mean that Kelsey owns him. Gemma wouldn’t have because that’s a little too mean even for her, but you know, technically speaking, still, lol.

      Even as it stands though violence was NOT the answer. Like, wtf Kelsey!? Like, I could even understand her feeling bitter about Takashi choosing Gemma over Kelsey, but even then you don’t proceed to attack said person! And well, Gemma can at least say that though she of course hurt hearing that Oliver was seeing someone else, she didn’t track down said woman and shove her against a wall, lmao. That’s just not rational! 😉

      Lol, Gemma definitely does have the potential to be quite mean and she’s good at it too. It’s also her most common go-to defense. Fortunately though, she isn’t always mean, so perhaps we can work on having her bring out that caring, sweeter side of her more. But then, I suppose she wouldn’t be the Gemma we’ve come to know and love 😉

      LOL thank you! I’m glad that I could make you laugh and thank you also for reading and commenting!!! I really appreciate it!! ❤ ❤ ❤

  4. Oh, irony. I hope Gemma realizes exactly what she just said.

    Patrick and Augustus are so effing cute! I hope Isaac and Augustus can be just friends. *crosses fingers & toes*

    1. Haha, wait, which comment is ironic? Gemma knows full well that she doesn’t own Oliver. I mean, it of course hurts when you see/hear about someone you like with someone else, but she hasn’t tracked down this woman and shoved her against a wall! XD She also knows he’s completely in his right to date and so on and knows that he’s shown no interest in her. It just plain hurts–I think even more than it typically would considering she’s already feeling “unlovable” as it is, so it’s just like an extra kick while she’s already down. Unless you mean another comment? Either way, both Kelsey and Gemma could do with being a bit better at handling rejection o_o No boy is worth this much trouble, ladies, lol. Now if only they didn’t dislike each so much, maybe they could have been friends and bonded over that or something, haha.

      Aren’t they just?! So, so cute!!! Let’s indeed hope Isaac and Augustus can just be friends. Augustus thinks they can, but well, I guess we’ll see 😉

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! ❤

  5. You know, I would dislike Gemma for being so mean to Kelsey if she was not absolutely right. Everything she said was true- having a crush on someone is not the same as dating someone. In fact I kinda wanted to slap Kelsey in the face myself. She had no right to go shoving Gemma like that over Takashi. I think that was a cruel but necessary slap of reality for her.
    But damn I feel really bad for Gemma. Bad things keep happening to her, don’t they?
    In contrast, Augustus and Patrick are so cute together! Patrick makes me want to pat him on the head, he is so sweet and adorable. Like a fluffy little kitten lol. Also I’m glad Augustus and Issac sorted things out, it looks like they will be great friends and the friendship will make Gus happy. Well, as long as nothing complicated comes up!
    Great chapter! I really enjoyed reading it.

    1. Ahahahaha 😉 I probably would too, but everything Gemma said really was true. I suppose she didn’t have to say it all the way she did, but then again Kelsey didn’t have to shout at her and shove her into a wall either. That wouldn’t bring the best out in even the kindest of individuals, and we already know and understand that Gemma isn’t that. A slap of reality indeed. Or at least we hope so. It would be pretty awful if Kelsey decided to continue tormenting Gemma after this. I mean they work in the same lab–Kelsey could really make her life hell. Then again, I think Gemma has shown that sure, Kelsey can do this, but if she does she can expect a whole lot of hell back, lmao. Let’s hope this makes her think twice. Plus, hello, again, she has no ownership over Takashi!? Girl needs to stand down! Not to mention that bad things do seem to keep happening to Gemma, and this would be yet ANOTHER thing. Ughhh. We’ll see what happens though, I guess 😉

      Haha yes on the other side of things Augustus and Patrick really are precious together. Their relationship makes me smile and Patrick melts my heart over and over again. There is soooo much more to him though that I haven’t yet gone into, so this is only the tip of the iceberg. We’ll learn more about him next chapter =)

      Oh man, if they can pull it off Isaac and Augustus really will make pretty great friends and that will definitely bring Gus a lot of happiness. The guy can make him laugh like no one else, and it seems like Gus would benefit from a bit more laughter in his life. But gosh such a meaningful past and the fact that they had their chance taken from them makes this feel a lot more complicated than I think it usually would. Still, Augustus thinks this can work. Let’s hope he’s right.

      Thank you so much and thank you so much again for both reading and commenting! Your words made me smile a lot ^_^;

  6. I don’t know if I have ever commented before, but I absolutely love your story! It is fantastically written, and I am in love with all your characters. I also love how you incorporated Augustus’ and Gemma’s story into Joanne’s generation. I think that it adds a lot of depth and gave us even more characters to steal our hearts. I get excited every time I see that there is a new post from you and immediately get started, haha. I am addicted, and I’m not ashamed to say it.

    Okay, I’m done gushing a little, lol. This chapter really tugged at my heartstrings and presented a lot of aspects to characters that were really relatable to me. Gemma, for instance, I’m guessing struggles with depression? That little battle she was facing in her mind at the end of the chapter was all too familiar to me, and she also seems to have a lot of ups and downs lately. I don’t know if that has to do with Oliver and maybe even the fact that she has to share Augustus with someone now, but I just thought it from the very beginning, especially when Gus worried she wouldn’t be able to pull herself back up. I really hope that she opens up to someone soon and tells them how she is really feeling; James would be the perfect person since he knows what these bouts of self-loathing feel like and can get her some much needed help. I fear for Gemma and what she might do because even though she prides herself on being rational, she proved in the altercation with Kelsey that she can let her emotions get the best of her at times too. I love her too much to see anything really bad happen to her.

    On the other hand, I kept squeeing over Gus and Patrick because they are SO FREAKIN’ ADORABLE!!! Seriously, if I saw them in real life, I might have to stop and gush over the cuteness. I really do love them as a couple, but I have worries there too. *Sad face* I am guessing by Patrick’s flinching that he has suffered from physical abuse in the past, which just breaks my poor heart. How could anyone harm someone in general, let alone someone with such a sweet innocent face? It pains me to think how he has been hurt before to make him as flinch-y as it is, even with Gus, who he has been with for over a year. I don’t think something like that ever truly goes away though, especially if it was a really traumatic experience and lasted a long period of time. At least he has Gus now, who is so protective and caring and sexy, my god. I just wish he would open up to Patrick more because it’s pretty obvious he needs to stop carrying the weight of the world on his own two shoulders before it crushes him. Patrick is there to listen, Gus! That would make him happier than pretending everything is fine. He can handle it, I promise!! I wish he could hear me 😦

    As for Isaac, maybe that’s how he will fit into Gus’ life now, a confidante? I know it’s usually easier to open up to someone about certain issues when they have been there from the very beginning, which Isaac kind of was, right? This way Gus wouldn’t have to start from the very beginning and relive the whole experience, just pick up where he left off. Plus, not that I think that Patrick is fragile since he is clearly a survive of God-knows-what, but Isaac does have a much tougher exterior, which I think is ironic since he seems more fragile than Patrick. Maybe Gus would think that Isaac could handle what he’s going through more? I just don’t want their relationship to become more than a friendship and destroy what he has with Patrick because I love Patrick!! I would make team Patrick t-shirts if necessary, haha.

    Overall, this was a terrific chapter and I cannot wait to see what happens in the future for everyone! I am so happy that you started this blog and have kept going despite any difficulties and obstacles that have arisen. You have so much talent as a writer and Sim photographer. I’m pretty jealous, haha. By the way, I am sorry for the monstrous comment; I didn’t realize I had so much to say 😛

    1. I had to approve your comment, so I don’t think you have commented before, but HELLO, WELCOME, and THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! You have me grinning like an idiot here, you really, really, do, lol. I’m so happy to hear that you’re in love with all my characters and that you liked how I’ve included Augustus’ and Gemma’s story into this generation. I had a fair bit of worry about it in the beginning, especially seeing as it’s not even a short venture into their lives, so it’s definitely encouraging to see that people enjoy this ^_^; Lmao, addicted, eh? Well there are worse addictions one could have 😉

      Now, first of all, hi, who are you, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! You are so eerily spot-on in so much of your comment that it really does feel as if you’ve taken a peek into my mind. I’ll have to tread carefully then in responding to this so that I don’t give too much more away, lol. That being said, I love, love, love how well you’ve picked up on all my little hints. I wouldn’t have dropped them at all if I didn’t want people to find them, so thank you for seeing them, hehehe ❤

      Let’s start with Gemma. Yes, your guess is stunningly accurate. I don’t think at this point that she herself would admit that she’s battling with depression (she sees it more as battling irrationality), but that certainly does seem to be what’s happening here and you’re right: That is exactly why Gus is so worried. He senses it….How could he not? Of course her ups and downs have sort of become “normal” for them both, but it seems to be pretty damn noticeable lately and it’s getting harder and harder for Gemma to pick herself up from those downs, even with her brother’s help. Augustus sees this and like you, he fears for Gemma and what she might do. The fact that her last thought in this chapter was essentially that she wished she’d never existed only adds more reason to worry. James would most certainly be the perfect person to talk to and even talking to Joanne wouldn’t be a bad choice, but in both cases she feels quite hesitant to reach out to them. In the first case, she feels ashamed and embarrassed to reach out to him (which is why you’ll notice she usually calls her mom) and in the second it’s not exactly a secret that even though she hates that she does, Gemma does have some feelings of jealousy and bitterness toward her. Still, even with this, it really would be a good idea to reach out. Gemma’s a fierce fighter, and Augustus’ support is invaluable, but the more you can stack the odds in your favor, the better off you’ll be.

      On the flip side of things, yessss Gus and Patrick are painfully adorable! Hehehe. Yes though, definitely some deeper issues there, but this time I’m not going to say too much on it because that’s where the next chapter is headed. Suffice it to say though the flinching was indeed significant and I am glad you noticed it. Something like that really doesn’t ever truly go away it seems. For instance, my bf wasn’t abused per se, but his household was definitely very, very pro corporal punishment and even after 4 years of us being together, if I raise my hand while like, speaking animatedly or something and catch him off-guard, he flinches pretty badly. I mean he always laughs it off, but omg, it makes me feel so awful and never ever want to do the same to my own children. Anyway, it’s definitely good Patrick has Augustus and it makes me smile to hear you describe him as protective, caring, and sexy, hehehe. I totally 100% agree 😉 I also wish Gus would open up to Patrick more, as he can handle so much more than Augustus thinks he can. Bleh. Misperceptions are just the worst.

      So yes, as for Isaac, a confidante role is certainly possible. At any rate, it’s clear that there is something about him that causes Augustus to be uncomfortable with the idea of him exiting his life again, and I’m not referring to his obvious good looks, lol. There’s something else that draws Augustus—something he’s not getting in other aspects of his life, but that he does get from Isaac…hence his desire to want to at least try and be friends again. They were quite close in the past. Maybe they could be again…sans the sexual tension. Orrrrrr maybe that’ll stay and just continue to complicate things =P I have to say though, kudos to you for being the first to see that Patrick isn’t as fragile as he seems, heh heh heh. Isaac surely does put on the better show, but what’s really going on behind those bright hazel eyes? Hmmm =) LOL Team Patrick t-shirts. I’m sure there are lots of people who would join you in that endeavor, but I know some people who would counter with Team Isaac t-shirts, so I guess we’ll see what happens 😉

      Thank you!!!!!! You’re back to making me smile like a loon again. Writing is the one thing that if you take it away from me, I no longer feel like myself, so even though it does suck balancing it all, I have to find a way for my sanity. I swear, if I had a bit more nerve and weren’t so broke, I’d seriously consider just devoting my whole life to writing and actually get something published. In the meantime, this’ll do though =) I love the Sims and I love the community and that makes it all well worth it. Gah though, don’t be jealous, I’m sure you’re highly talented too! If anything you’re certainly a damn perceptive one, and jeez do I really admire that, lol. Good on you once again and oh my god, NO don’t worry about the monstrous comment especially because I gave you such a monstrous response in return, LOL. I love to hear what’s on my readers’ minds. I often learn more about my characters and their situation from you guys than myself 😉

      On that note, thank you once again for reading and commenting! I appreciate it more than anything ;__; ❤

      1. It’s funny that you say I’ve taken a peek into your head because I feel like you’ve snuck into mine and captured a lot of me and how I feel or have felt. I think that is why I was able to pick up on your clues because I had extremely similar experiences to Gemma and possibly Patrick (I can’t quite say since I don’t know what his past is like exactly). I’ve struggled with depression since I was about eight, and let me just say that you have captured it perfectly in my opinion. I know that everyone is different, so I don’t want to say that you depicted depression as a whole, but I can relate very well to Gemma. I feel sad for her because I know it’s not easy and it always seems like an uphill battle, especially when you’re always having that argument in your mind about whether or not you’re truly as awful as you might think you are. It seems that Gemma is lucky to be so logical because it counteracts those irrational and negative thoughts in her mind. I love that she’s a fighter because it just shows that people with depression aren’t these weak zombies who don’t fight or try and are constantly sad. They’re people with lives who are fighting all the time to keep those negative, demeaning thoughts from winning. They don’t have to be sad all the time or not be able to function at all to have depression. There isn’t a flashing neon sign over their heads that says “I’m depressed!” I love how you capture a whole person and destroy a stereotype at the same time.

        I can feel for your boyfriend, lol. One time my mom was taking her coat off in the car and I didn’t realize so I flinched almost into the window, haha. It was embarrassing, so I was glad she didn’t notice. I am just so curious about Patrick and his past. I want to guess that he had an abusive ex, and that would make me love him even more that he can still love and trust Gus after such an awful relationship. Maybe that’s how Gus has bested them? Oh my god I want to know so badly now! I’ll just have to imagine lots of scenarios and see if any of them are correct, haha.

        I also know what you mean about balancing everything out. I’m in college right now for my bachelor’s, and I only have about two weeks and finals. It’s awesome to know it’s almost summer, but it also doesn’t seem right that I still have so much work to do yet so little time to get it done. How is it even possible?

        1. It looks like it’s not so much that we’ve taken a peek into each other’s heads, but rather that we share common experiences and it’s through this that we can get such a good sense of one another even though we’re essentially strangers. I also relate all too well to Gemma in this regard and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t put a bit of myself into her character. I comfort myself with the fact that she’s very different from me in other ways though, heh. But the depression, the ups and downs, the fights against irrationality, the feelings of being alone and finding it difficult to connect with others, that just about resonates on the same wavelength as me.

          Patrick is different though. For him I’m drawing upon my own knowledge of his experience and the experiences of others, so it’s a bit trickier because just as I’m using Gemma to destroy a very common stereotype about depression (Oh my god again that you noticed that!!! Yes, yes, yes!), I’m also using him to try and destroy a couple more. But again, still can’t give that one away just yet 😉 I love that you’re making all these hypotheses though and I look forward to seeing what you say come next chapter! =)

          On a final note: I KNOW RIGHT!?!? SERIOUSLY, HOW IT EVEN POSSIBLE? Multiple research papers, several exams, a presentation, and tons of other silly little assignments all in the span of a few weeks?!?! What is this devilry? I guess I’ll sleep in May. In the meantime, care to share a coffee toast and possibly a few tears? Kidding, yet not kidding. Fjdkfhsdkfa. It will be done though. IT WILL.

          1. I really have no idea how this happens EVERY. SINGLE. SEMESTER. I don’t know if I just haven’t learned how to do everything in a timely manner, which is a very good possibility since I practice the terrible art of procrastination, or the professors do this on purpose all the time. Two of my professors that I have the most work for right now seem to be likely culprits to perform this heinous act, so I’ll just pass the buck off to them, haha. My work does not seem nearly as grueling as yours though. I have two more lessons to teach, write about four reflections on those and others I already taught but never reflected on (procrastination at its finest), some art projects, and these darn journal prompts for my field experience that will be the death of me. Your work seems so serious, and I’m just like “La tee da, early childhood education major, du du du” 😛

            I will second you in your toast and tears, as long as you don’t mind that I toast with some tea 🙂

            1. I’m fairly certain it’s a combination of the two. I’m also a master procrastinator, but at the same time obviously all finals come at the end of the semester and large projects tend to be due then too. Of course I could have been working proactively to prevent myself from having so much due right at the end, but…procrastinator. Lmao.

              Not as grueling? Heh, I doubt that. I taught high school for three years and my little sister was an early childhood education major and teaching is one of the hardest things I have ever done. So, so much goes into every lesson–from the initial planning stages to its delivery and so on. Our boats are filling with water just the same, lmao.

              Hold up your tea and I’ll hold up my coffee! Cheers! 😉 XD

              1. I wish my professors had told us about us about our biggest projects at the beginning of the year. Instead, they saved it until the last two weeks when they must be aware that all our work is piling up so that we have the Great Wall of China constructed out of school assignments. I love how much experience I am getting at a Professional Development School because I’ve taught a lot already when it’s still my junior year, but the department feels pretty unorganized and all over the place quite often too.

                I wish I was just teaching and planning lessons right now because I love to plan them. I have no idea why haha but I think it’s my strongest point. I’d be really happy planning out lessons to teach every day instead of going to class and worrying about all these assignments I can’t seem to find the motivation to do. Soon I’ll be there though, thank goodness.

                I hope you don’t mind that I keep replying and such long ones at that, lol.

                1. Hey though, if you were wish you were just teaching and planning lessons then that’s perfect because it means what you want to do most is literally going to be your job once you get that degree. Now if that’s not a good match, I don’t know what is! Still, in the meantime it’s a frustrating, grueling mess of assignments that just feel like busy work honestly. Or at least mine often feel that way, which is why I end up procrastinating them in the first place. Bleh. Motivation eludes me too.

                  It’s great though that you’ve already gotten to teach a lot! I learned by far the most about teaching by well, teaching!! That experience is going to be invaluable. Sucks though that the school’s a bit all over the place. Sometimes I feel like mine is too because there’s times when they don’t even offer the classes that people need to graduate. Like…um!? They typically fix it and it all works out, but the fact that it happens at all is concerning, lol.

                  Haha, nah, I don’t mind at all so long as you don’t mind that I keep leaving long responses in return! XD ❤

                  1. That is the part that makes me feel great — that I’m being shown that the last three years of my life have not been a complete waste of time and money. It’s a terrific and relieving feeling, to say the least. I’m pretty nervous to teach in a third or fourth grade classroom next semester though because I feel like they learn so much more complex concepts than when I went to school, lol. There’s even concepts in kindergarten I had never heard of sooo…yeah.

                    I wish these assignments felt like they had more purpose instead of feeling like our field experience is very close to being over and our professors can’t let us be done already and don’t know what to do so they tossed all these assignments at us. It’s cruel and unusual punishment. I’m curious how you went from teaching high school for three years to getting your master’s in clinical psychology though. That seems like a pretty drastic leap. Did you just find that teaching wasn’t for you?

                    Oh my gosh, I hate when they don’t have the classes available that people need! I feel bad for the theatre department because our school had to do a huge retrenchment and there aren’t enough professors so the courses get rotated and are only taught every two years. If you start during the wrong year, I’m pretty sure you’re guaranteed at least an extra semester at the campus, which is just ridiculous. The early childhood education department has even decided to change our entire schedules the first day of the semester, which is always fun. NOT.

                    This is also completely off topic from the college blues, but I just wanted to let you know that you have inspired me to start my own DITFT blog. I have always brainstormed ideas for one and have even written prologues for one or two before, but I never fully committed. I love your story so much though, and every time I read another chapter, I mentally yell at myself to get to work and actually get it done, haha. Thank you for being an inspiration to me ❤

                    1. Oh I totally get you on that front. When I was first hired I was told that I would be teaching “Human Geography.” THE DEPARTMENT CHAIR DID NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. It was literally a brand new class I was starting. As you might imagine, a lot of research went into planning for that. I basically had to learn it myself, and then turn around and teach it to my students. Talk about a struggle, lol. I mean it was way easier the second year, but holy fuck that first year was murder. It did show that it CAN BE DONE though. Somehow. Just like how all our work will get done before the semester is over. Somehow. Haha.

                      Hmm so, I actually originally intended to be a psychologist in the first place. My undergraduate degree is in Psychology (with a second degree in Anthropology). However, when it came time to apply to graduate schools I sort of floundered and then discovered a program called Teach For America, which trains college students to be teachers and places them in underserved schools in the U.S. in order to try and close the achievement gap that exists between children who come from a high socioeconomic background and children who come from a low socioeconomic background. Basically, the quality of education isn’t the same and that’s shit, so organizations like that have formulated their own solutions to try and solve this problem. I was interested, applied, got accepted, and then transported across the country where I began my three-year foray into teaching high school. It’s a two year commitment, but I decided to stay at my school after the program ended.

                      Thing was though, I still wanted to be a therapist, and working with underserved students made me even more sure of that career decision because what I saw most commonly amongst my students was that yes, the education system needs help, but another glaring gap was the nearly non-existent attention paid to issues of mental health. I had a student who watched their cousin shot down; another who attempted suicide at school; another who had their head bashed in by someone who misidentified him as being from a rival gang; and so on and so forth and there was obviously so much trauma going on, and what the hell was anyone doing to address this? It was test scores, test scores, test scores. Education is important, obviously, but how can we expect students’ scores to rise when we’re not treating their anxiety, or debilitating depression, or attending to the fact that they just witnessed something traumatizing? It’s a huge need too, and my third year my school moved to another building which was much further away from where I lived (it would have required over 4 hours of travel per day), so I informed administration of my desire to return to graduate school and here I am now. I still want to work with high schoolers, but this time, I won’t be teaching them about the Neolithic Revolution, but attending to their mental health. *deep breaths* Good god that was a long explanation, I’m so sorry, lol. Basically, I enjoyed teaching; I was told that I was good at it; but in the end, it’s not where my passion lies.

                      Now, to wrap this up, that’s completely awesome that you’re starting a DITFT! I would absolutely love to read it, so be sure to drop me a link once it gets started! As for inspiration, thank YOU too because as much as write for myself, I also write for my readers, and that obviously includes you! ❤

                    2. That’s insane that even your department chair didn’t know what human geography was…aren’t they supposed to be on top of things like that? LOL. It’s pretty cool that you got to be a head of a brand new program though, except for the part where you had to do all the research and whatnot. I’m pretty sure I would have curled into a ball in a corner and hung a DO NOT DISTURB sign around my neck or something, haha. After talking about this new department however, you’ve awoken my curiosity – what is human geography anyway, if you wouldn’t mind explaining?

                      Reading about your experience in the school reminds me of Hilary Swank in The Freedom Writers, if you’ve ever seen that movie. If you haven’t, it’s terrific, and I highly recommend it! It’s ridiculous that children have such traumatic experiences at such young ages. I worked with kindergartners this semester, and sometimes students would come in and need to go to the nurse because they forgot to brush their teeth or my teacher would ask them if they ate dinner and breakfast. One student has a parent in jail and doesn’t really know how to make sense of the situation. I know that those instances aren’t on the scale of your situation, but it’s awful that it seems they don’t have anyone looking out for them even when they are five- and six-years-old. It breaks my heart that some children lose the opportunity to be innocent and stress-free. The fact that the schools are so focused on test scores and not their students’ mental health says a lot about the education system. I am really worried about the politics involved in education when I am an official teacher and how much importance is placed on standardized testing. How can anyone truly believe that one test can evaluate millions of students in the same way and provide an accurate depiction of their abilities and intelligence? I get that they needed a way to hold teachers accountable, but there are so many other better ways to do it. Please don’t apologize for your lengthy response because I found it really fascinating. I didn’t know that Teach Across America existed honestly, but I love that there are programs out there trying to close the achievement gap.

                      I totally started fan-girling when you said you would read it, haha. That is so freakin’ exciting!! Thank you so much for actually wanting to read it! I probably won’t really get to work on it until after the next week or two because SCHOOL IS SUCKING OUT MY SOUL, but I should be free after that. I would also like to apologize for my super late response. All of a sudden I had a social life (where did that come from?) and homework and going to work and trying to squeeze in some sleep and then it was three days later. Sorry about that!

                    3. OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY! I for some reason had a memory of responding to this, but it turns out I didn’t?!?!?! *falls out of computer chair* I am unworthy. Fdjkfhsdfjkadsh.

                      OKAY BUT RESPONDING NOW: I basically DID curl into a ball in the corner and hung a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign around my neck, lmao. Like during lunch breaks and planning periods I would literally shut off the lights in my classroom and sit at my desk eating alone while listening to questionably encouraging music, lmfao. It was so bad–DO NOT DO THIS YOUR FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING, LOL. Man, in fact I remember my first official observation by the principal was really positive, but he was actually surprised by that because I seemed so “aloof” and reclusive, omg. Lol. After that point I emerged from the depths of my classroom a little more often and let me tell you, having positive connections amongst other staff members is a HUGE help and relief. MAKE FRIENDS!!!! lol

                      Ah though yeah, human geography is the study of people, communities, and their cultures, particularly the ways that the environments that people have lived in have shaped their ways of life. It’s all about the interaction of people with their environments and covers topics from geography, culture, agriculture, industrialization, and more. Hopefully that gives you some idea…lol.

                      I haven’t seen the movie, but I did read the book so I know what you’re talking about, definitely. It does seem ridiculous and the situations you described I saw in my own classroom as well, which I think really speaks to how common it is. The fact that it’s so common though makes it even sadder that the education system doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it, instead pouring all their focus into standardized testing. Obviously these are critical skills to learn and master, but so are the skills involved in being able to take care of oneself and effectively cope with the world around you. How we can place one skill above the other when they’re so intricately tied is beyond me. Same with judging teachers based solely on standardized tests when they provide such a limited view of any one individual. I will say that at my school teacher evaluations were based on multiple factors (test scores; observation ratings; professionalism), but you can bet that test scores were one of the most heavily weighted! Even the art teacher’s evaluation was based heavily on reading test scores! I guess with having multiple domains that go into the final score they try to make it more fair, but not all schools do this and not all things are weighted equally.

                      Also, DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR LATE RESPONSE BECAUSE MINE CAME LIKE A MONTH LATE!?!?! I’m so sorry again! I thought I had responded and then I got swept into a tidal wave of research papers and finals and never thought of it again! It was only now looking through my comments that I noticed. *MEGA FACE PALM* Anyway, hope your semester ended well and I hope you’ll forgive this super late response!

                    4. Of course I do, haha, although there’s nothing to apologize for because I completely understand where you’re coming from. Suddenly all my due dates were looming ahead of me, getting ever closer, and it didn’t help that I literally had no days off to get most of it done and some of my free time included watching fixer upper or parenthood with a friend, lol. I regret this decision but not really because the shows are super good! And I got all my work done anyway, so it all works out 😁 I hope all our research papers, presentations, and exams(?) ended on a successful note. I’m sure you’re happy the semester is over now though. *Does happy dance*

                      Your seclusion does not sound like a fun way to start your teaching career. I’m sure all the other teachers were like, “why doesn’t she like us?!” But considering it was your first year and you were heading a new department, I hope they were more understanding. I’m afraid I’ll be like that because I always have this fear that people find me annoying and would rather not have me around. It’s hard for me to believe that people actually want to be my friend sometimes. Wow, this comment really delved into the feels very quickly, lol. I’m sure it helps having a mentor teacher or at least having people on your side who have advice and experience to offer you, plus emotional support for when things get rough.

                      I hate standardized testing so freaking much and I wish the department of education would realize it’s ridiculous. Its supposed to hold teachers accountable so that they don’t give up on their students and stop teaching, which I’m sure is supposed to help close the achievement gap, but in the end, it just makes it worse by removing funding from the schools that need it and leading higher achieving students to go to better schools. Standardized tests help widen the achievement gap!!! Gah, if teachers made up the entire board of education, I wonder if things would be better…

                      Please excuse what feels like an extremely long rant on the educational system, lol, and seeing your comment made me smile a lot, so thanks 😊

  7. Sorry for liking and running earlier, but I had stuff to do. I’m sure. Anyway, now I’m back!

    Oh no, Isaac is the one who got away! The first cut is the deepest, and so forth! Damn, that shit is painful. And he’s so incredibly handsome too. Poor Augustus & Isaac for having such terrible timing. That has to suck, to have a family who don’t accept you for who you are. I really really liked this part of the chapter, I thought it was really engaging and realistic. Will there be more Isaac or is his part in the story over now? I HOPE NOT. I would like me some more Isaac, please.

    Oh Gemma. At least there’s an upside to not being particularly nice – you can tell people to go play in traffic when you need to. “Good talk” – LOL! Kelsey had it coming. What an incredibly immature outlook on life in general and love in particular, that you can call dibs on people, but I guess they are really young. Not THAT young, I would think! What’s really sad about this whole situation – two girls becoming mortal enemies over a guy who doesn’t even care either way. If Kelsey should be angry with anyone, it should be either herself, for being so blind, or Takashi. He probably doesn’t deserve her infatuation – or maybe she should just be a bit more open about her interest in him so he has a chance to even choose her over Gemma??But I suppose Takashi doesn’t really feel the need to choose, at least not exclusively. It’s even more sad that I’ve seen that happen so many times – girls hating on other girls over a guy who either a) isn’t even aware or b) wouldn’t choose the hater regardless of how many fights she picks over him. There should be a point to a fight at least, shouldn’t it? This was just a lose-lose situation. So sad and pointless. Gemma needs a break!

    Gus and Patrick are very sweet together, but I guess you’ve heard that once or twice before. 😉 It’s a nice touch that Gus is the inexperienced one, when Patrick is so.. awkward, in many ways.

    I used to know a woman who stuttered and it was the same with her, she didn’t stutter when she was singing. I never gave it much thought, I figured that memorizing lyrics and talking are two very different things, so it seems only natural that they don’t work the same with a stammer either.

    Neither here nor there, but I would freak the fuck out if my boyfriend texted me that much about nothing! Like, WHAT DO YOU WANT! But in general people seem to text their SO quite a lot even when they’re working. Gasp! *serious* *frown* *doing important stuffs* But maybe it was just Patrick being anxious about Isaac. Or maybe he always texts that much?

    Isaac’s arachnophobia is the lulz. Poor dear. I shouldn’t laugh about someone’s phobia, it’s mean. LOL Maybe he’s from somewhere where spider bites are actually dangerous. *understanding*

    I love that you’re on a writing spree! It’s awesome. 🙂 xx

    1. LOL, no worries. Welcome back! 😉 XD

      Oh yes yes yes, Isaac is definitely the one who got away. Even more painful I think given that the choice was largely taken out of their hands. They were close too…it’s no wonder that Augustus felt so hurt by his abrupt departure from his life. Oh and yes, Isaac is incredibly handsome too, LOL. Like goddamn. Even part of Augustus when he left was like, well how could he have ever liked me anyway, he’s so out of my league! But aw no he’s not, and Isaac liked him very, very much. As such, he was also really hurt by this. Then on top of that he has the pain of having a family who did not, and still struggles to, accept him for who he is. It’s a constant bitter taste in his mouth, but one that he’s also sadly grown used to.

      Also oh my goshhhhh, I’m so glad you really liked this part of the chapter and found it to be engaging and realistic because I rewrote it like 7 times?!?! It kept feeling “off” to me and in fact this chapter would have been posted sooner had it not been for that scene. I am quite happy with it now though, so I’m glad other people are happy with it too! Also, rest assured my friend that there will be more Isaac in the story =) His part is not yet over.

      Oh man, Kelsey soooo had it coming. It’s one of those things where usually I’d be like, gosh, how mean of Gemma, but in this case I honestly just want to give her a big ol’ high five. Definitely an incredibly immature outlook on life and love. They are pretty young, but I’ve even seen grown ass adults get into situations like this o_O So petty. Let’s at least hope that this is a wake-up call for Kelsey and that she develops a much more mature outlook on these things, but who knows? She still sounded pretty bitter at the end—like Gemma had purposefully tried to destroy her life or something. But uh, Gemma couldn’t be less fucked about Kelsey like….Why would she do that? Yeesh. And now, like you said, these two are like mortal enemies over a guy who’s completely oblivious to any of this! How sad and pointless indeed. Not to mention, the last thing Gemma needed on her plate right now. Ugh.

      LOL NO I HAVEN’T HEARD THAT THEY ARE SWEET TOGETHER YET 😉 But oh yes, they areeeee so I can hear it a thousand more times and it wouldn’t be less true, hahaha. Ohhh, I’m glad you picked up on that one though and appreciated it XD It is a bit of a hint though that maybe there’s more to Patrick beneath all that shy awkwardness 😉

      Yes! I’ve actually been doing a lot of research on it to ensure accuracy as best I can and the singing thing is a pretty common phenomena. The memory thing is a really good hypothesis, but that wouldn’t explain why people who have a stammer don’t tend to when whispering either. Plus, in a lot of cases, if you put noise-canceling headphones on the person so that they can’t hear their own voice, they don’t tend to stutter either. It’s actually quite fascinating and researchers still haven’t quite figured it out. Makes me want to do even more research on it, but I should probably prioritize the research I need to do for my upcoming papers instead, LOL.

      LOLOL oh no, Patrick doesn’t usually text that much. Eh well, it depends actually. Like if he’s busy at work or the only one running the store, he won’t text Augustus at all for hours, but if things are really slow or this incredibly good looking guy appeared that made your boyfriend turn into a keyed-up, blushing mess (YES HE NOTICED THAT), then Patrick might feel compelled to text a bit more, lol. I mean he does trust Augustus, but…well, his reaction to Isaac’s appearance was so strong that Patrick couldn’t help but wonder.

      Bahahaha, well, Augustus thinks Isaac’s arachnophobia is the lulz too XD He also felt bad laughing about it, but….LOL. I think it’s especially because Isaac presents himself as such a pulled together, confident, strong guy, and then he sees this tiny ass spider and he’s paling and jumping away, lol. Well, Lucky Palms is in the desert so there ARE very dangerous spiders living there, so….maybe we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt 😉 *understanding too* XD

      Ahhh, me too, only it’s not so awesome for my school work because I find myself getting EXTRA frustrated doing it because I just want to write and then I have to sit here reading hundreds of pages of textbooks and banging my head against the desk because I’m reading the words and then I’m suddenly daydreaming about a future scene and ughhhh. LEAVE ME TO DIEEEEEEEE. Thank goodness it’s almost over….except that has me panicking a little too because I have so much due!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? …but almost over. *deep breaths* Almostttttt overrrrrrr.

      Thank you as always for reading and commenting!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

  8. Oh Patrick, I’m sorry but I am so Team Isaac. Patrick is adorable and all but just not for Gus. I feel like Gus needs a strong manly man- someone that he won’t always be the rock for because he obviously has some crushing moments in his head.

    As for Gemma, I do wonder if Kelsey did say anything and Gemma just didn’t hear her during a zone out? Still, sticky situation and I feel bad for both girls.

    I’m so pumped your school work is almost over for another year. Can you believe how fast time is going? I mean, it probably doesn’t feel fast when you’re in school and working your butt of for months at an end but when you look at the big picture, the year is over again.

    So glad you’re doing well and I am super pumped for a chapter at the end of May XD

    1. Ah, here we are, I knew there were Team Isaac fans out there 😉 Hehe. You’re certainly not wrong. With the way things stand right now, there’s no denying that Augustus could benefit from having someone like Isaac in his life. Gus is currently the rock in pretty much all of his relationships…It would be nice to have someone he feels like he could lean on for a change, especially when it’s so obvious he could use that. Of course, he hasn’t exactly tried to lean on Patrick yet either, so it’s possible that he already has what he needs and just doesn’t realize it. Who knows? For now, it’s clear that there’s something about Isaac that Augustus can’t help but feel drawn to and want, and I don’t just mean the good looks (though they help, lmao). I suppose we’ll see what happens 😉

      That pretty much is what happened. Kelsey did say something, but Gemma truly didn’t hear her. And you see, Kelsey is the type of person who simply assumes that everyone is listening to her always. For instance, as you’ve seen Gemma keeps to herself in the lab and is super focused on what she’s doing, while the other people in the lab will be a lot more casual and chatty. So you can imagine then that there’s Kelsey chattering away, and she just assumes that everyone in the entire lab is listening to her, but they’re not, and Gemma isn’t the only one zoning her out. But there it is then, in Kelsey’s head she “told Gemma a hundred times” but 1.) Ehhh not really, and 2.) Gemma was never listening and Kelsey never thought to check. A sticky situation indeed that’s left both girls hurt. Bleh =(

      I AM SO PUMPED TOO! I mean, it’ll only be over for a few months before I’m back at it, but STILL. Haha, so true. Time is spinning away from me, even if it doesn’t always feel it. It’s weird because I feel like time is dragging actually, but at the same time it’s passing by so quickly and I have so much due and jfkfhsdkfhdkfls *hides underneath desk* Almost there though….almost.

      It would be amazing if I could get it posted before the end of May, but ehh even if it’s that long at least it’s still better than the previous pace I had with writer’s block! lol. Glad you’re super pumped for it!

      Thank you as always for both reading and commenting! ❤

  9. Oh god what are you doing to my feels right now

    Okay, so tiny screenshots involving Gemma and Ashton make me happy.
    Patrick and Gus are unbearingly cute.
    Isaac is too hot for his own good like damn, Pat you better hold on to Gus he might slip away.
    And then there was okay Gemma, bitchy red head and then very sad Gemma. I’m so pissed at that girl for attacking Gemma LIKE YEAH RUN AWAY CRYING. I get where Gemma is going with this tho, she wants to rely on others for comfort but at the same time she feels in the wrong for it. (It’s oddly coincidental that I happened to ask myself a similar question recently, on whether my family would still love me if we weren’t related. I GET YOU GEMMA I DO.)
    Gah, anyways, I still haven’t recovered from reading this (and I actually spent a lot of time appreciating your screenshots and their quantity and order? Like to the point where I was questioning my own way of screenshotting and wondering whether I could try something else to see if it improves or whatever) and I am apparently not capable of keeping to a straight cohesive thought.
    Regardless, I adored this chapter.


      Awww, yay though!!!! I’m glad the screenshots of Gemma and Ashton make you happy 😉 He’ll continue to make mysterious appearances and catch Gemma off-guard, hahaha. Funny thing is he’s not even doing it on purpose, they really do cross paths like all the time. Even he’s like “????” lmao.

      Hehehe yes, Patrick and Augustus are amazingly adorable. Like, help ;___; ALSO HELP BECAUSE ISAAC REALLY IS TOO HOT FOR HIS OWN GOOD. Patrick potentially has some real competition (and not just because of the looks) and he already senses it. Ack =/

      LOL: “YEAH RUN AWAY CRYING.” I wondered if that would gain sympathy for Kelsey, so I’m glad that it hasn’t, LOL. Well, I mean, I do feel for Kelsey to some extent, but she loses a lot of points by attacking Gemma over that. Like really?!?! Not to mention it was about the last thing Gemma needed on top of everything else, ugh. But heh, yeah I suppose that’s the good and yet complicated thing about family. Like, you have these people who love you to pieces, but then if they weren’t your family, would they still? But then even so, does that devalue their love by any means? I’d think not since it’s still about some of the strongest love that can exist out there. Still, in moments like this, Gemma can’t help but wonder too.

      Also, thank you!! I’m so glad you liked the screenshots. For whatever reason they seemed to come out especially good this time around? I don’t know, sometimes I want to throw my game out the window because I get so frustrated trying to take nice screenshots and I wish I didn’t suck so much, and then other times I’m like “Goddamn, that came out nice!” lolol. It’s a constant struggle, I totally feel you and often feel the same when I look at others’ blogs too! But I guess we can all learn from one another in that regard =)

      Thank you again!! I’m really glad you adored the chapter and thank you as always for reading and commenting ❤ ❤ ❤

      1. WORSE?? Oh god I’m scared
        I’ve barely seen much of Ashton but I already ship him and Gemma hard (I feel like I’ve said this already but whatever). Plus he’s also a gorgeous sim. (But then there’s Takashi whom I kinda liked too)
        Yeah, I mean, I sorta feel for Kelsey because I get how it is to crush on someone and see them get with someone else, but plz don’t put blame where there’s no blame to put.
        Unconditional love is a crazy strong thing. It’s kind of like a stepping base to help people get to know and love you that you don’t get with other relationships?
        Oh god, a struggle indeed. Think I spent 20 minutes once? Yeah 20 minutes on a single screenshot because that particular mix of poses I had made it look like someone was touching someone else in a rather “innapropriate” spot, and let’s just say it really wasn’t the time for that kind of thing 😛
        Exactly, I like to think it’s the way I keep my grammar/expressions up to date ^_^
        You’re welcome 😀

        1. Aww, nothing necessarily to be scared of (maybe, mwah hahaha)…just prepare for the definite continuation of the feels!

          Aww, hehe, well I’m glad. It does at least seem to be better than rooting for Oliver at this point, but hey, who knows? =P

          Definitely, and Kelsey really is taking it way too far. Let’s hope that maybe Gemma’s words were a bit of a wake up call for her…otherwise she’s in for a lot more disappointment. Well that and she might continue to torment Gemma and ugh, again, that’s just about the last thing she needs.

          Oh my goshhhhh pose clipping is the bane of my existenceeeee. I get you completely. I’m constantly having to use OMSP, the alt key, and clever angles to get things just right, lol.

          1. Oh yeah Oliver…I guess I sorta dismissed him because it’d feel too much like Gemma was taking her big sis’ leftovers or something.
            Gah I hope not…though if Kelsey attacked Gemma cause she slept with Takashi, she probably would hold a grudge for making her cry. ugh
            And then when you finally get that perfect shot–! there happens to be a random sim not supposed to be there in the background. (I don’t know about you, but half the time when a character dies not of old age I don’t delete the sim, I sorta keep them around for a while. And sometimes they start to wander and photobomb my screenshots. I turn off free will, but it still happens all the time T^T)

            1. Lololol “leftovers”–ouch! XD But no, I totally get you. Even Augustus says in Part I, “It isn’t…weird for you that our sister used to date him? That our sister likely slept with him?” And Gemma doesn’t feel like that makes a difference, but also Augustus has a point I think. Hmm, well, we’ll see I suppose 😉

              True! It’s also possible though that the fact that Gemma reduced to her tears will make her too embarrassed to ever try and approach her again. I mean, whatever her plan was, I think it’s safe to assume that it backfired, lmao. I suppose we’ll see on that front too 😉

              Ah yeah, it’s usually some truly random sim for me though, like some EA townie cutting through an intense scene. Like really?! Lol. As for when a character dies not of old age, well I’ve actually only done that once (Maddie) and her Sim really did die o_o Though I always had her Sim saved just in case, heh. Thank goodness for MoveObjects on though! I just move those idiots out of the way! XD

              1. Oh yeah, I definitely could see the humiliation leaving her to stare daggers at Gemma from dark corners.
                Heh heh, especially with townie fashion sense, makes for some real weird pictures.
                Yes I love that cheat! And if I can’t because we aren’t on a lot, I just reset the hell out of them.

                1. OMG that is half of the reason why I don’t let townies into the background photos. Like it isn’t weird to think there would be passersby, in fact, I usually even mention the fact that there are other people around, but these people happened to be dressed like Indiana Jones wearing a scuba helmet and I just CAN’T with that, LOL. RESET, RESET, RESET.

                  1. HAHAHA!
                    Oh god, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything that bad! I’ve had the crazy werewolf hairdo + baggy pants + tight witch shirt kind of combo, but never an Indiana jones + scuba helmet level. Hahaha!
                    How would you even go about explaining that? “Oh yeah it’s a mix and match party over at the neighbours house”
                    heh heh XD

  10. Woooo I caught up! 🙂 *dances around the living room*

    Ughh, I feel so mean… but I like Isaac a LOT better than Patrick. LOL. I think that’s just my personality though, people who are Patrick’s personality, I’m just so not into them. The timidness, the stammering, I’m sure are endearing to some, but seem rather annoying to me. LOL. I’m sorry, lilyshadow, don’t hate me. LOL. Kidding of course, I know you won’t hate me for sharing my opinion. XD I don’t hate Patrick or anything, either, LOL just fyi.

    I am so glad that you decided to show Isaac’s point of view and what exactly happened to him. I had a feeling that it wasn’t just him leaving cause he was a mean person. Gosh, my heart went out to Isaac as he was talking about how his parents were just so not caring at first. Then for them to say he couldn’t see Augustus, like Augustus was a fucking problem for Isaac, and if Augustus wasn’t there, then Isaac would be “normal,” ugh… people like that make me sick. I mean, I know they eventually took Isaac back but Jesus Christ Almighty, treat your son like that?! *slaps Isaac’s parents so hard*

    As for Gemma, dear Gemma. The poor girl. Kelsey was a meanie, and kind of a wuss, LOL, if she liked Takashi, she should have taken initiative or something. Gemma’s right, Kelsey doesn’t own Takashi or have any claim to him since she only had a crush on him. I’m glad Gemma slapped Kelsey back haha. Hah, Gemma’s thoughts about family there towards the end was cool, like not cause it made her sad, but because the part where some people’s family doesn’t give a shit about them, I could relate to that way more than the ever accepting family, so I guess I’m just glad that Gemma knows that kind of family exists. I kind of hate people who are all “family is everything” just because they have a good one, and then they’re closed minded and think that I’m supposed to give my shitty family anything, despite them being giant turds. LOL.

    1. Woot!!! *dances around with you* HIGH FIVE! >.> Hahaha.

      Aw, no worries, it really is all about a preference of types here honestly as I don’t think either of them are a “bad choice” per se, you know? I love them both, I really do. My boyfriend is 100% on your side too though; he’s a staunch “Team Isaac” supporter and for similar reasons as you, though he would also add that he finds Patrick to be weak and he says that Isaac has “swag,” LOL. I rather like seeing these teams developing as it makes it even more fun for me XD As for Augustus, well, it’s clear that he’s really, really fond of Patrick, but at the same time it’s also obvious that he feels drawn to Isaac too. Whether anything will come of that though, who knows? 😉

      Of course! It was not only important for the readers to know, but Augustus too! He deserved to know the truth about what happened. And you’re right, Isaac isn’t a mean person—he’d have never done that if it weren’t for these awful circumstances. THAT MENTALITY DRIVES ME MAD TOO. Like oh yeah, get rid of Augustus and it’ll somehow “cure” my son. Assholes, your son is perfect—he doesn’t need to be cured. It makes me sick too. And yes, they are trying to understand, and that really is something because not everyone can say that, but still….*SLAPS THEM TOO* LMAO.

      Lololol Kelsey comes across all spitfire, but as soon as Gemma got back in her face she stepped back down. The girl’s all show, and yeah okay, she got a hit in, but Gemma returned it full force, lmao. Plus, like you said, she could have taken initiative. I mean they were all there that night; Kelsey saw Takashi playing pool too. She could have been the one to approach him. Gemma would not have cared, lol. And oh yes, she’s well aware that not everyone’s family is like hers. In fact, she feels fortunate that she does have a family that loves her so much because that really isn’t necessarily common. I mean I look at even my own family, and we do love each other, but we’re not nearly as close. I think I last spoke to them last month and very briefly at that. I mean we get along fine, we’re just not close, like I said. The Winters (for now lmao) definitely are though.

      Thank you again for reading and commenting! You’re awesome and so are your comments!! ❤ ❤

  11. This was perfect 🙂 I’m so happy to come back and get to read a bunch of Gemma/Augustus adventures!

    First of all, Patrick is adorable bless his soul – I reaaaaaally hope Isaac doesn’t screw things up, as cool as he is, Patrick is GAH perfect. Augustus seems like a reasonable guy so hopefully confusion with Isaac doesn’t cloud his judgement too much, or maybe he’ll realize he isn’t meant to be with Patrick, which is fine but I don’t want Patrick to get hurt!

    I really love how you display the relationship between Gemma and Augustus – so many stories make siblings way too similar or too much on the same page, but it’s good to see these two go through rough patches and feel bad for how they reacted to something. It just feels really real, you know?

    Poor Gemma, it really shows just how unhappy she is. She’s gotten her priorities all mixed up and made a few mistakes but I think she’ll figure out just what she wants. Also, Kelsey is a tad bit crazy bless her heart, and should probably not be employed to handle important data haha.

    AUGUSTUS’ THOUGHTS ON HARRY POTTER!!! Amazing!! I’m so happy! I always think about things like that with them watching just a lake and nothing happening and what is the point, same with the maze! I’m actually rereading all the books again (currently on Order of the Phoenix) and I think every time I try to talk to someone, I end up at Harry Potter. Like now. Yikes. But it made my day.

    I missed the Winters, and I’m so glad I’m back and you’re back to posting and I can’t wait to read more! ❤

    1. AHHHHHHHHHH, MEG! *OBLIGATORY TACKLE HUG BEFORE RESPONDING TO YOUR COMMENT* HI!!!!!!! And omg you’ve posted an update too! I AM SO EXCITED, lol. Will definitely be heading that way soon. Now though, responding to your comment:

      I’m so glad that reading these updates on Gemma and Augustus made you happy =) Patrick really is absolutely adorable T_T How could anyone want to see him hurt? ;_____; Maybe that’s precisely the issue that Augustus is having right now though. He can’t stand to see the guy upset in any way, shape, or form, so he seems to be trying to create this “perfect” little happy protective bubble around him and just…no. Life will never, and has never, worked quite like that. Nor should it either because it’s the “bad” that helps us grow and helps us appreciate the good in the first place. Hopefully Augustus can figure everything out without too much fallout, but the fact that he’s currently keeping everything to himself is probably not a good sign. *frets* Still, we can hope!

      Thank you =) I’m glad that you noticed that. Augustus and Gemma are obviously very close, but at the same time they truly frustrate one another sometimes, lol. So they lose their temper with one another, say things they don’t mean or react in ways they feel bad about, and then come back to apologize and talk through it. It feels more real to me this way too. I mean my sister and I aren’t nearly as close as Augustus and Gemma, but again, sometimes we have moments when we’re the best of friends, and other times we have moments where we’re like “Get away from me” LOL. But I guess that’s family for you 😉

      I think you’re on the right track about Gemma having her priorities mixed up. She seems to be having difficulties figuring out what it is she wants. Everything is confusing and all Gemma knows is that sometimes it all makes her feel so empty…or unattached to the world, I suppose…like untethered balloons. Hopefully she’ll figure things out too.

      And LOLOLOLOL, “Kelsey should probably not be employed to handle important data” LOLOL. That argument could definitely be made!!

      AHHHHHHH I am so glad someone mentioned Gus’ thoughts on HP!!!! Admittedly they’re more like my thoughts on HP, which have now become his too, lmao. I’m actually rereading all the books too (albeit very slowly because of school and writing this) and I’m currently on the 4th book, which is what made me end up putting it here. Like you, whenever I’m reading it all I want to do is talk about HP, lol! So I’m happy you’ve indulged me XD

      Thank you so much and thank you again for both reading and commenting! I really appreciate it and look forward to seeing what you think about what’s to come! ❤

  12. It’s so sad that Gemma feels so bad about herself. When she was upset in class and wondering what was worse having a stranger notice or having no one notice was heartbreaking. She must find it difficult to be around her brother and Patrick. Seeing them so happy would only make her feel so much worse about herself.
    Gemma and that Psycho girl, wow! Gemma does come across as cold but that girl had no claims on that guy. I really hope that Gemma finds someone willing to put in the extra effort to make her feel something for them instead of letting her go after they sleep together. Not sure if that makes sense or not lol
    Patrick and Gus are so cute together! Somehow I find it difficult to believe Patrick is more experienced than Gus. Somehow I thought they would be on the same level of inexperience with Patrick being so painfully shy. I do wonder though about where their relationship is going if Gus doesn’t start sharing important things with Patrick. Makes me worried about Isaac coming into the picture. Can they really be just friends now that Gus knows that Isaac did have feelings for him?

    1. Gemma is having a rough time of things, that’s for certain. Things that rarely bothered her before are now getting to her and every day feels more difficult than the last. That being said, she keeps moving forward trying to brush away the self-named “unhelpful thoughts.” Seeing Augustus and Patrick so happy together then is difficult, but again that counts as an unhelpful thought that she really tries to push away. She doesn’t want to feel bitter or jealous about it and hates that this feeling comes on in the first place, so she “shuts it down” and in that way tries to simply remain neutral about it. She gets the same way around seeing her elder sister with her husband….the bubble of envy, and then shooing it away because if she knows that if she lingers on it, it will indeed make her feel worse.

      Definitely could be argued as coming across as pretty frigid, but you can’t say that Gemma was wrong either, that’s for sure! Kelsey has no claims on Takashi like you said and hell, Kelsey even saw Takashi at the bar too and it’s not as if she approached him. She just bitterly watched as Gemma did so and then sat there incensed that Gemma would “dare do that” when she “knew” Kelsey liked him, but all of those were blind assumptions. Kelsey’s tendency to view the world as revolving around herself basically came back to bite her in the ass and she’s taking her pain out on Gemma herself. Bleh.

      As for Gemma finding someone willing to go that extra step, I totally get what you mean and I suppose we’ll have to see if that indeed happens =) Or maybe she’ll find someone she feels that it’s worth taking the risk for? It could go either way, but right now, she’s focused on getting through the last days until Winter Break where she can go home and well yeah, take a break from it all. Perhaps then we do need a guy who will take the initiative instead. Who knows!? 😉

      Patrick and Augustus are indeed very cute together ^_^; Haha, well, I can see why you’d find it difficult to believe, but people seem to forget that it was Patrick who took that initial step to talk to Augustus (multiple times too, despite embarrassing himself every single time, lmao) and not the other way around. In fact it took a while before Augustus began to let down his walls, and even then Gus stepped carefully and kept being wishy-washy about it until his dad’s suggestion that maybe letting Patrick know how he felt would ease some of the guy’s nerves around him. And true, in the moment Augustus ended up forgetting everything he was going to say and ended up kissing him instead, but well, Patrick returned that kiss full force 😉

      Not to mention, it doesn’t take all that much to be more experienced than Augustus is because as is mentioned a few times, he really hasn’t dated all that much and the closest he’s ever felt to a person before Patrick was indeed Isaac, and that went rather horribly, as you read. Suffice it to say Gus was pretty darn cautious afterward. Patrick meanwhile admittedly may not have been approaching many guys by his own accord, but guys certainly sought out him. Cute, fun fact then that Augustus is the first guy he’s ever 100% pursued himself rather than the other way around. Augustus is pretty different from the guys who were typically drawn to Patrick, and well, that notable difference was one of the reasons Patrick stepped up in the first place. Plus, man was he crazy about him….hahaha ❤

      Oh jeez, where their relationship is going if Gus can't ever open up to Patrick? Probably nowhere good, that's for sure. Makes Isaac's appearance extra worrisome, not to mention the fact that they really were close, and as you've seen, Augustus doesn't get particularly close to many people. He talks to lots of people, but underneath it all is a fairly guarded person. Either someone needs to try and make a change, or everything's going to change anyway, and maybe not in desired ways o_O

      Thank you a million for both reading and commenting!!! I really appreciate it! ❤

  13. I read everything on this blog???? Wow I have such mixed feeling, I definitely enjoyed the ride but it’s over, WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW :D? 😦

    Well I loved the specials as much as the main story, to be hones, I love all the Winters children 🙂 you gave them such interesting and realistic personalities and made them so releatable (like with all the other characters, that is, damn I’m repeating myself :P) I just can’t praise you enough, i’m really glad I found this blog and can’t wait for more updates. 😀

    Btw I think I’m team Patrick 😛

    1. You so did!! I’m impressed! Hahaha I always feel that way after I finish catching up with a long blog too. Or television show. Or book series. ….you get the point, haha. You devote so much time to it that when it’s over it’s like: WHAT DID I DO BEFORE THIS?! XD But then there’s always the next thing to get sucked into 😉

      Ah, yay! Thank you so much! As I think I’ve mentioned before I got a little nervous doing the specials because they obviously delay the main story line, so I’m just really glad to hear that so many people enjoy them. It’s very encouraging ^_^ And haha, no worries about repeating yourself–I’m sure I’ve done the same XD

      Thank you so much once again. I’m glad that you found this blog too and have loved all the comments you left me! Super appreciated and they made me smile every time =) I am aiming for the next update to be posted before May ends, but we’ll see. I mean, hopefully!! I’m probably even more excited than you guys to tell more of everyone’s stories! lol.

      Awww, hehehe. Team Patrick ^_^ He’s definitely a sweetheart. Guess we’ll see what happens 😉 ❤

      1. haha yes I feel the same about shows and books too 😀 end of May is not so bad… I could wait… probably 😛 just kidding, good luck with your schoolwork and everything, I hope it all goes well so you can go back to the Winters in a good mood 🙂

        I’m glad you liked my comments and I’ll be sure to leave more once the new stories are up 🙂

        Well Patrick is so sweet, and you are really cruel to bring Isaac into the picture now because he is so good looking and seems cool, but I would be devastated to see Patrick heartbroken 😦 but like you said we’ll have to wait and see 😀

        (and also sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language and I’m usually still under strong impressions when I write these comments so I might make mistakes more often :D)

    1. Hi there! Whoops- for a second there I thought this comment was spam because I wasn’t sure what you meant, but I did some Googling and now this sentence makes a lot more sense, lol. I didn’t even know this Youtube channel existed! =O And there’s even a Wikia for it!?! How have I never heard of this?! Lol. I see what you’re referring to now—we have characters with similar names. Though I guess my Isaac is technically Isaac Taveras and in general they don’t seem to share much in common. Just a coincidence honestly—neither are uncommon names =)

  14. So I’m finally here to give my lovely two sense! Hooray!!!

    Anyway, I have to say that Gemma has got to be one of my favorite characters from you. Granted, all of the characters of this generation are splendiforous! All of the emotions that they experience makes them all the more real. But I love how Gemma is this rare person who externally, is an ’emotionless robot’, but she’s actually an extremely emotional being. She suppresses all of her feelings so much because they may feel ‘illogical’, but then she hates being called a robot. And she doesn’t quite know how to deal with all of it, which makes her display this aloof/toughness because she’s not sure what else to do. At least, that’s what I got from her… I could be way off base.

    Speaking of Gemma… That Kelsey girl is a whole string of foul words that I don’t like using. Even if she was bothered, and felt like Gemma backstabbed her or something, she could have just talked to her about it, instead of being a dirtbag! I also hate it that she’s talking as if the sole fact that she liked that Takashi guy meant that she owned him. He’s a freakin’ adult, and can make his own choices (which he did apparently, when he chose Gemma). Ugh… People like that make me mad… And of course it had to happen at a time where Gem was finally having a good day.

    I don’t know how to feel with this whole Gus/Patrick/Isaac situation. Obviously, I root for team commitment, and hope that there isn’t some terrible betrayal where someone gets hurt bad (even though that’s probably going to happen… otherwise Isaac’s entrance into the plot, with the crazy falling out backstory wouldn’t have much point… Unless Patrick becomes an overbearingly jealous boyfriend), but Isaac isn’t a bad guy. I think Gus needs to figure everything out for himself, though. He seems to be the type to think too much about how others feel, and also the typ who tries to carry other people’s burdens (like how he’s carrying the fact that Gemma was unhappy). Another thing he needs to do is to depend on Patrick more. We’ve seen plenty of Gus being the strong, stable one for Patrick, but I don’t think he gives Patrick enough opportunity to return the favor. That doesn’t seem like a good thing for a relationship… I like Patrick, but with how Gus is trying to handle everything, and with the return of Isaac, I worry that Gus and Patrick might not last forever…

    So THERE! I finally got around to giving this chapter the long overdue comment that it deserved. Hopefully the length is suitable. I can’t wait to read what happens next!

    1. Ahhhhh!!!!! Thank you!! Gemma is admittedly rising quickly through the ranks of my favorites too, so I’m glad that there seems to be a few others who love her as much as I do =) Plus you saying that all my characters felt real made me grin stupidly, lol. Thank you, seriously.

      You’ve got a pretty good reading on Gemma, so definitely not off base! I would say that she herself doesn’t necessarily view it as “suppressing” her feelings (thought let’s face it, she is), but rather as having “control” over them and the fact that she finds it more difficult to “control” them lately has her increasingly stressed. Instead of simply letting herself experience them as they are though, she tries even harder to exert control over them and then, when inevitably failing to do this, experiences feelings of defeat before she grits her teeth and tries again. It’s like being caught in a Sisyphean task and the result is that she does come across as rather cold and robotic, when really as you said, she’s a very emotional being. Now if she only accepted this as a positive quality and stopped viewing it as an “unnecessary hindrance” maybe she could find balance and peace within herself. Her so-called weakness may actually be a strength…..After all, become too locked into objective, logical thinking and you risk sacrificing compassion, but Gemma has the potential to be both logical and compassionate…if only she stopped viewing that as a bad thing.

      Hahahaha, Kelsey is quite horrible—no doubt about it. There was absolutely NO reason she had pull Gemma aside just to spit disgusting insults at her and shove her into a wall. Even if she HAD known that Kelsey liked Takashi it would have been inappropriate because hello, as both Gemma and you pointed out, having a crush doesn’t give you ownership over that person. Would it have been rude? Sure, but she could have talked to Gemma about it rather than attacking her. Not to mention Takashi is indeed an adult and he definitely took interest in Gemma that night and not Kelsey. It seems worth pointing out that Kelsey was there too and easily could have talked to him herself!! Instead, she stewed in wrath and then blamed Gemma for it all. PEOPLE LIKE THAT MAKE ME MAD TOO, LOL. Especially because Gemma was feeling so good that day. Ughhhhhh =(

      You are SPOT ON though that Gus is the type to think too much about how others feel and takes on their burdens. It’s to the point where Augustus gets confused as to what his own feelings really are, which you can see for instance when it comes to him being unsure as to the extent of what his feelings are for Patrick. You see him being unsure, and yet whenever he’s around Patrick he finds himself melted to pieces. But then he’s always kind of ignoring it and focusing on what others feel and hardly ever focusing on figuring himself out.

      100% agree that he needs to depend on Patrick more. I think somewhere in his head Augustus feels as though Patrick wouldn’t be able to withstand the weight, but how could he ever know if he never gives Patrick the chance? It’s not good at all for a relationship, so if Augustus wants to make this one work, the dynamic has to change, or else it’s going to fail regardless of what he wants. Then we add in Isaac…a heartbreak that he still clearly feels the sting of to this day and he finds out it never should have unfolded that way in the first place and well….things gets even more complicated. Basically, either Augustus needs to figure this all out for himself or it may get decided for him…and not in the ways that he may have wanted. Of course this ignores what either Patrick or Isaac may do themselves. Hrmm, hrmm….a complicated situation indeed.

      Haha, thank you!! No worries about the delay—when it comes to comments I think the saying “better late than never” fits well. It’s always great to hear what people think no matter when they happen to post, so I’m still over the moon for this comment ^_^; It was perfect! Thank you SOO, so much for reading and commenting and hopefully it won’t be too long before we indeed find out what happens!

  15. OH my god! I can’t believe I missed you posting this. It’s incredible. I love the “iphone” screens 🙂

    And that fight with Kelsey at the end. I hope poor Gemma can turn her life around. She needs to find some actual happiness.

    And I’m glad that Augustus finally figured out what was going on with Isaac. I hope he doesn’t start thinking romantically about him now though, I adore Patrick!!

    Can’t wait until the next update. I wanna know more of whats going on with Jo!

    1. Haha, thank you so much!! “Incredible,” huh? I’m hiding under a blanket ;___; You’re way too kind! I’m so glad you think so! I’m glad too that you liked the “iPhone” screens, haha. I used to hand-make them with like Paint or whatever, but then I found a website where you can make your own much more realistic looking ones and went with that instead. I think it looks a lot nicer, lol.

      Ah yeah, I think Gemma is long overdue for some genuine happiness–and not just pockets of happiness, but actual peace and contentedness. Life is never free from conflicts and battles of course, but it’s like one thing after another here with no signs that it’s going to turn around any time soon =/

      Mmm yes, it’s really good that Augustus finally learned the truth of what happened, but it’s also so much to take in. Everything that he thought to be true was completely wrong and in a way he sort of has to reconstruct that past and come to terms with it while also establishing a new friendship with Isaac in the present day. It’s a lot of confusion and he’s still teetering on the idea that bringing it all back is ultimately going to cause more harm than good. Will it though? I guess we’ll just have to see. Either way, it seems many are in agreement that whatever happens, we just don’t want to see Patrick getting hurt! lol. But again, I guess we’ll see what happens 😉

      Thank you again! I was hoping to have the next update out by now, but I got caught in a bit of a block and then got swept up in other interests. Been in more of a reading than a writing mood lately! Hopefully it’ll change soon though because I’m getting eager to post an update too…particularly for Joanne’s story. My original plan was one more A&G update and then Joanne, but we’ll see what inspiration eventually strikes me with. Either way I hope it won’t ever be disappointing!

      Oh and thank you for reading and commenting!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    1. Muito obrigado!! Não tenha pressa 🙂
      Espero que você goste ^_^;

      ((Also sorry if there are errors in the Portuguese–I know Spanish pretty well, but it’s quite different so I had to use an online translator to help me!))

  16. Aw, Gemma, you’re not so cold after all, or you wouldn’t have reacted to her words like that. Poor girl. I understand her all too well X_X
    I love Isaac. I do. I enjoy how I already know if it’s him or Gus speaking simply from their dialogue (again, teach me senpai), BUT Patrick is adorable and, fuck, I love that. He’s just so sweet.
    How do you come up with all this drama though?! is it a psychology thing 😛

    1. Gemma truly isn’t cold at all. In fact I’d say she’s almost as compassionate and caring as Augustus, but for him experiencing and expressing these feelings comes naturally and for Gemma, she doesn’t know what to do with them nor how to properly express them. Like she’ll say something because she cares and she’s looking out for that person, but it always comes out meaner than she intended, especially when she’s angry. It’s very frustrating for her because of course it’s very off-putting to those around her and makes people feel like she’s cold-hearted, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s also why Augustus gets frustrated though because he DOES know this about his sister and he wishes that others could see past that rough exterior and see her as he does. Not that he doesn’t occasionally get frustrated by it too, but he knows at least now that Gemma is anything but a robot. BUT THEN because people always treat Gemma like that, she retreats further into herself and cocoons herself in logic stating that she doesn’t need anyone or any of these silly ties and fdkjfhdls she so does.

      AHHHH, really!?!? I struggle so much with trying to give characters their own recognizable voice through dialogue, so seeing that you feel they have distinct voices has me screaming!!! I’m so glad that they do!!!! It’s something I’m continuing to work on, lol.

      I love Isaac as well and how conversations flow between them both, even through all the pain and frustration currently shared between them. Like it feels tense and awkward, and then suddenly there’s these moments when everything feels natural….and then comes the discomfort and awkwardness again. Bleh. They should not have been taken away from one another.

      But THEN AGAIN, if that hadn’t happened, then there wouldn’t be PATRICK, and Patrick is sooo adorable and sweet and he melts Gus’ heart about a hundred times over and how could you not like that too? Fuckkkkk, lol. What have I done to myself? lmao.

      And LOL no I don’t think so! I really don’t knowwwwww. It’s a dash of my own experiences, a dash of things I’ve heard from others, and a dash of my own spin on things. But I don’t knowwwww because sometimes I actually feel like the story isn’t all that strong/good and then I hear otherwise and I’m flabbergasted, lol. I feel like I have so much to learn x__x

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