Generation 5 Special: Augustus and Gemma IV (Pt. 2 of 2)

Generation 5 Special- Augustus and Gemma IV (2.2)

A/N: I’m not even going to bother trying to explain myself because it’s been over three years and I left everyone on a Part 1 of 2 without ever posting the second part even though it was fully written and edited. *face palm* There are no excuses. Why didn’t I just get the pictures for it and post it? WHY? I don’t know, but I’m here now, and I have the second part to this—posting it after it’s been lying here written for three years. I did do a bit of editing to reflect new thoughts and ideas as to where this is going, but for the most part it is exactly as it was…only posted three years too late.

If you’re still here, you’re more golden than gold, you absolute treasure. If you’re new, I’m surprised, and there’s much to catch up on, but you are so, so welcomed it’s hard to put into words. I hope to at least finish Generation 5. I don’t know if I’ll continue into Generation 6 honestly, but these stories at least deserve to be told, and Joanne deserves her final act.

Anyway, thank you sincerely for being here. Comments are enthusiastically appreciated, so please even if you feel it’s not much, share your thoughts! You are guaranteed to make a person (me!!!) smile if you do.

Happy reading!

Oh, and to winterspixels, if you’re still out there—thank you for the long chats we had about our stories. You helped me realize what Gemma’s tale was about, and I’ll never forget that. I hope you’re doing well ❤

Trigger Warnings: Use of tobacco, strong language, bullying, depressive thoughts, mentions of child abuse



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What was a friend anyway?

Oh, Gemma technically knew what a friend was, but it was in an abstract sort of manner, like the way one might define happiness by pointing out instances when they could see it. Like happiness, she could recognize friends when she saw them: The group playing an enthusiastic game of hacky sack by the fountain; the girl holding a stack of books for another as she bent to tie her shoe; the two boys doubled-over in laughter after the third told an evidently hysterical joke. She recognized them all as friends, but having the ability to identify a concept did not mean one understood it.

Did Gemma have friends? She thought she did, or at least, she considered her family to be her friends, but there was a problem in this. A problem that reminded her she would soon move out of her family’s home; a problem that existed in the inescapable reality that soon her twin, her closest friend, would be living a life of his own—a life with a career, a husband…children.

Though, that was fine because it wasn’t as if friends typically lived together. Everyone walked their own paths and these paths naturally crossed with those of others over the course of their lives. Gemma’s path would continue to cross with those of her family as well, but somehow this fact was not a comfort to her. Somehow, even as she imagined meeting up with them in the future, she envisioned herself feeling profoundly alone.

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She envisioned this and felt the resolve she’d so carefully constructed in the morning begin to crack. She had not impressed in her classes today and whereas normally Gemma would be excited by the prospect of going to lab, she now felt a dread that begged her not to go; to skip out even though this was one of her mandatory, scheduled shifts. She didn’t think that Dr. Saint would be angry with her if she called out (especially since she already put in countless extra hours), but if she didn’t go, then Kelsey would know that she had gotten to her.

Gemma could already see the smug expression that would cross the redhead’s face if she was absent. It was an image distasteful enough that even the slightest possibility of it becoming a reality was enough to goad her into going.

The likelihood of Kelsey trying something was minimal anyway as there would not only be witnesses present, but also Dr. Saint would be next door in his office, occasionally checking in on them before returning to his work. Surely not even Kelsey Campbell would be so stupid? Perhaps even, if she was lucky, Kelsey would be the one to not show up to her shift.

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Steeling herself, Gemma entered the brightly lit laboratory with her head held high and made a beeline for the coatrack. Already she noticed that an unnatural silence had fallen upon the room when she entered, but gradually conversations resumed. Kelsey’s shrill voice stood out like a taunt, raising Gemma’s hackles even as the redhead discussed something as mundane as her upcoming cruise to the Bahamas. Gemma hung up her jacket, switching it out for a lab coat and then securing her safety goggles onto her face.

When she could hesitate no longer without attracting curious stares, she turned to grab a set of samples and went to her station to begin running tests.

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At first, Gemma found it challenging to concentrate, every burst of laughter and every beep from the machines fueling her unease, but the longer she was there, the more she relaxed, and the more fully she allowed herself to become lost within the lines of data flashing across her screen.

This was where she belonged, divining order from what others only perceived as randomness. It was elegant and pure, and soon nothing mattered except the comfort she derived from accurate data collection.

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By the time she finished Gemma had attained a Zen-like state, a calming lull that led her not to notice the ice blue eyes following her steps.

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The curly-haired brunette picked up her tray of samples to return them to the front of the room, but as soon as she turned, someone rammed into her shoulder with enough force that she tripped and collided with the ground, the vials exploding upon impact.

Crystal glass glittered in the harsh florescent light. A gasp of surprise escaped Gemma’s parted lips.

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“Oh dear,” Kelsey’s voice jeered from above. “How clumsy of you. Dr. Saint won’t be very happy at all.”

Gemma drove her fist into the back of Kelsey’s knee. The redhead’s leg buckled, and she yelped as the blow sent her tumbling to the floor too. At first glance, it might have looked like Kelsey had exclaimed in surprise and bent to help her, so Gemma took advantage of this, looping her arm around Kelsey’s neck and then digging her fingernails hard into her collar bone.

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“You’re right,” Gemma hissed by Kelsey’s ear as she winced in pain. “He’s not going to be happy at all that you tripped me while I was holding the samples, which is precisely what I’m going to fucking tell him. You can lie all you want and say otherwise, but I’ve known him since I was a child and have worked in this lab since I was 16 years old, so if you think for one fucking second that he’ll believe you over me, spout your shitty lies, because I’ll be right here to correct them for you.”

Kelsey made a high-pitched spluttering sound and turned on Gemma in a fury, but it was then that the door burst open and Dr. Saint swept in, blond brows knotted in concern.

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“Is everyone okay?” he asked as seven pairs of eyes shot toward the door to meet him. “I heard glass breaking.”

“Gemma tripped,” chirped one of Kelsey’s friends, a blonde girl with bubblegum pink lipstick who seemed delighted by the scene.

Dr. Saint’s gaze roved briefly over the standing students and then stopped when he caught sight of Gemma and Kelsey on the floor, shattered glass fanned out before them. Gemma hung her head, every inch of her skin burning as Dr. Saint continued to look at them in bewilderment.

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“Gemma turned at the same time I walked by,” Kelsey flatly added. “We bumped into one another and tripped.”

There was a prolonged silence, broken only by Kelsey bumping her shoulder to get her attention. Gemma lifted her head, blushing harder as she realized Dr. Saint was looking to her for confirmation, his arms folded across his chest and his expression questioning.

“Yes,” she stated woodenly. “We tripped. It was an accident.”

“Totally. We’re really sorry,” Kelsey followed in an unctuous tone, her light blue eyes opened wide.

Dr. Saint’s focus did not shift to the redhead’s as she spoke, but instead remained on Gemma, unsure. She hung her head again, wishing the fall had knocked her out.

“Okay,” he finally said, shifting his glasses further up on his nose. “It’s fine. These things happen and no one was seriously injured. Please, be more careful in the future though and don’t touch the glass. I’ll call maintenance to safely dispose of it.”

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“Of course, much more careful!” Kelsey chirped in agreement. She got to her feet, smiling sweetly as she held out her hand to help Gemma up. The curly-haired brunette rather felt as though she would rather roll in the jagged glass than take it, but she could still feel Dr. Saint watching them, so she took the redhead’s freckled hand. Kelsey helped her up. Gemma avoided eye contact by making a show of brushing off her coat.

“I’ll go make that phone call, or better yet, find someone—would be faster,” Dr. Saint mumbled to himself, and then glanced regrettably at the smashed samples on the ground before he turned to go.

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Gemma took an unconscious step back, which was fortunate because the instant Dr. Saint was out of sight Kelsey whirled and spit at her feet. “This isn’t over,” she growled.

“It is, actually,” Gemma stated matter-of-factly. “It’s been over from the second you thought it was alright to cross me, but unfortunately you’re far too stupid to notice.”

“What’d you do, Gemma?” Kelsey asked with a sneer. “Fucked the professor too so you’d have him wrapped around your finger?”

“What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“No, what the hell’s wrong with you that you can’t apologize after you clearly hurt someone else’s feelings?” Kelsey shouted, stomping her foot. “That’s all I wanted, and you couldn’t even do that!”

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Gemma flushed, all too aware that everyone’s attention was now irrevocably fixed on them, but it didn’t stop her from retorting, “If that’s what you wanted then maybe you shouldn’t have shoved me into a wall!”

“I was angry! You deliberately—”


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The room went unnaturally still, Kelsey staring at her as if she’d struck her again. It was a weighted silence that grew heavier as Kelsey’s eyes filled with tears. A dread like sharpened claws gripped the back of Gemma’s neck.

The blonde—Ashley, she remembered—rushed forward in concern. In fact, they all hurried to comfort Kelsey, their allegiances decided without ever giving thought to Gemma’s side. They’d aligned with Kelsey instantly…because they were her friends.

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Within the tumult, a sophomore named Paris turned to her with apprehension and murmured, “You should probably go now.”

Gemma met her eyes, her mouth dry and a numbness steadily suffusing her veins. “Right,” she barely voiced, and then went to the coatrack, stowing away her lab supplies and pulling on her jacket.

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“Don’t let her get to you. She’s not worth your time,” Gemma heard Ashley say.

“Seriously. That’s just how she is,” another reassured.

“Awful,” Kelsey whispered tearfully. “She’s just…awful.”

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* * * * *


TS3 2020-09-06 21-51-03-28_Edit00

How many hours were there in a day again? 97? That’s what it had felt like and it wasn’t even midnight. What he wouldn’t have given to be able to call it a night and climb into bed, but instead he was sitting on the front step of Patrick’s house waiting to have a conversation he couldn’t have wanted less.

The fact that Patrick was running late did nothing to improve his mood, even though he knew that it wasn’t his fault and that delays in closing were common at the convenience store where he worked. There were always students rushing in at the last minute for chips or energy drinks; or tedious tasks the manager would assign with only fifteen minutes left to closing.

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Augustus sighed and glanced up at the sky. It was a somewhat cloudy evening, but the crescent moon was still visible, its unfailing light shining within the hazy black ether. To pass the time, Augustus imagined how he would go about capturing the sight in a painting—the precise mediums and techniques he would use to bring the scene to life.

It helped keep his mind off the chilliness of the night; off the fact that Gemma hadn’t responded to his last text; off trying to guess what Patrick wanted to discuss. It even helped keep his mind off the slight pull he felt to talk to Isaac, a want he’d promptly discounted as a bad idea because it was talking to Isaac that he felt had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Perhaps Isaac, in general, was a bad idea. The thought made his heart sink because only hours ago their reattempts at friendship had felt like a tether in a storm.

“He lets you get close and then he walks away. That’s what he does.”

Isaac could have tried harder to reach him.

Why didn’t he try harder?

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The sound of hurried footsteps distracted Augustus from his gloom. He looked in the direction they came from and got to his feet as he caught sight of Patrick jogging up the path. He was still wearing his work clothes, his face pink from the cold and his dyed-purple hair tousled by the wind.

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“Hey,” Patrick panted, trying to catch his breath. “S-sorry for making you wait. The m-manager wanted me to count the register t-twice because he thought someone during the m-morning shift swiped a five—which they t-totally didn’t.”

“No worries,” Augustus replied with a small smile. “I wasn’t waiting long.”

“Oh, well, that’s good.” Patrick offered him a nervous smile in turn and then hopped up the single step leading to his door. He pulled out his keys, trying to find the right one in the feeble light. “I’m g-going to change but help yourself to whatever you want.”

Augustus nodded and Patrick unlocked the door, turning the knob to open it and then ramming his shoulder into the weathered wood when it didn’t budge. The door gave way with a pop, Patrick stumbling forward a few steps before he managed to regain his balance. Augustus stepped in after him, reaching out to flick on the lights and casting Patrick a quick look of concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, s-sorry,” he mumbled as he closed and locked the door behind them. “D-damn thing just started doing that.”

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“I think I might be able to fix that,” Augustus hesitantly offered. “Maybe.”

Patrick laughed, a light loud that had Gus feeling hopeful. “I like your confidence,” he teased.

Augustus felt his face grow a little warm and his boyfriend smiled at him before heading off to change. As he waited, Augustus surveyed his surroundings. The small studio was, if possible, even more cluttered than he was used to seeing, stacks of canvases leaned up against the walls, countless jars of leaky paints, sheets of scattered paper and clothing items tossed here and there, causalities of rushing out the door to class or work. He’d noticed long ago that Patrick’s place reflected his art—hurried and chaotic. Patrick’s art had a thousand facets. There was always some new aspect to uncover.

“I’m s-sorry about the mess!” Patrick called from the other side of the divider that separated his bedroom from the living room. “I h-haven’t been home much lately.”

“It’s okay, really.”

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Patrick reappeared from behind the divider, still pink-cheeked, but now wearing a pair of gray joggers and a clean white tee. He tilted his head in puzzlement at seeing Augustus still standing in the doorway, and then quickly looked at the couch, which was barely visible beneath stacks of books, clothes, and still more drawing paper.

“Oh! Sorry!” Patrick hurried forward to shove everything off the couch, his belongings piling helter-skelter on the floor instead. “I d-d-didn’t realize how bad it was,” he admitted with some embarrassment.

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“I don’t mind,” Augustus assured. The two caught one another’s eyes and Gus erased the distance between them, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close. Some small part of him feared being pushed away, but much to his relief Patrick not only accepted, but returned the embrace.

I’m sorry, he found himself thinking. Whatever it is you wanted to talk about—I’m sorry.

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They remained holding one another for quite some time, until Patrick did take a step back, his eyes avoidant as he ran his hand down Gus’ arm and pressed something into his palm.

A small, tightly folded up piece of paper.

“What—” Augustus began to say in mild confusion, but Patrick interrupted by asking, “Read it?”

He frowned, brows knitted, and unraveled the paper square. Sure enough, it was a handwritten letter, its hastily scrawled sentences spanning several sheets. Augustus recognized the handwriting as Patrick’s, which only further puzzled him.

“You…wrote me a letter?” he inquired, glancing up. “Is that why you rushed off today?”

Patrick nodded, and then perhaps sensing Gus’ apprehension repeated his words from earlier in the day: “It’s n-nothing bad, but…it’s important.”

“Okay,” Augustus replied somewhat warily, and then, after taking a settling breath, began to read:

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We need to talk, but we both know that’s not my strong suit, so I’m writing you this instead. This probably feels stupid and awkward, but I don’t know how else to say this without it being some uncomfortable, long-drawn-out ordeal, so here we go.

I know you haven’t been very happy lately. I also know that you haven’t wanted to talk about it, which is okay. I’ve been letting it go until you did want to talk, or at least maybe felt more comfortable with the idea. Thing is, you haven’t felt more comfortable—not even a little bit.

At first, I thought maybe this was because you preferred figuring things out for yourself and that if you wanted me to know, you’d tell me. Lately though I’ve been thinking, or maybe realizing, that it’s not that you don’t want to talk about it, is it? Not really, because you talked to Isaac, and that means you are talking to people. So, it’s more like you don’t want to talk about it, or don’t feel like you can talk about it, with me.

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“Patrick” —Augustus tore his gaze from the letter and looked at him— “It’s not that I don’t—”

“Just read it, okay?” he entreated. “The w-whole thing. Please.”

Augustus hesitated, still wanting to protest, but Patrick’s granite eyes further pleaded with him to finish. His stomach turned, his mouth feeling dry, but he nodded and forced his attention back to the letter. It took him a moment, but he found where he’d left off:

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I don’t know if it’s because you don’t trust me, or because you’re trying to protect me since it’s not a secret that when you’re upset, it makes me upset too. Not “upset” as in mad at you, but “upset” as in sad that you’re unhappy. I think that’s pretty normal, but whenever I’m feeling even a little negative, my stammer gets worse. It gets so bad sometimes that I realize I sound like a nervous wreck when, in reality, I’m just disappointed in myself and frustrated because I can’t control this.

Of course, because I sound like I’m on the verge of a breakdown, you pull away and I get why you would, but that’s also partly why I’m writing this—to tell you that 90% of the time, I’m not as uncomfortable, or nervous, or frightened as I seem. I mean, I’m shy, yeah, and awkward, I know, but most likely I’m okay and if you’re ever not sure, you could always ask. I don’t mind. In fact, I get it.

I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember; was in speech therapy and all kinds of therapy honestly throughout my life. Believe it or not, it did help. My stammer used to be worse. As a kid, people could barely understand me, but I didn’t get to practice much. I didn’t because my parents’ so-called solution was to hit me whenever I stuttered, so silence felt a lot safer. Sort of. They’d find or invent other reasons.

…I think you know what I’m getting at here. Maybe you already suspected it. And maybe it explains a lot about me…or something.

I don’t like to think of that. I don’t like to admit that it probably fucked me up more than I realize because it’s all in the past and there’s not a damn thing I can do to change it. All I can do is focus on who I am now and, despite how “fragile” I may seem, I don’t think I’m a fragile person.

I can stand on my own and have been doing so ever since a nurse in the ER called protective services on the two people who are always supposed to have your best interests at heart. Of course, the problem with that is that for some people, “best interests” means using a cast iron kettle to whack someone in the back of the head for spilling a glass of milk and the fact that you’re in the ER heaving into a metal bin from the concussion you sustained was the punishment they made you feel you deserved. A belief that, by the way, took fucking years to correct.

So, I think if I can survive that shit for half my life, I can handle whatever the hell you have to throw at me. And fuck, even if it turns out I can’t or I have difficulties or whatever, how will I ever get better if you never give me the chance? I want to be someone you feel comfortable turning to and if you don’t feel like you want the same, then I don’t know what we’re doing.

I hate writing that, but I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know what else to do. I just hope that this mess of a letter makes at least some kind of sense and if it doesn’t, you can talk to me. You can always talk to me…about anything.


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* * * * *


TS3 2020-09-09 17-30-23-41_Edit00

Gemma was fast asleep, her arms forming a small shield around her head and her textbook doubling as a terribly insufficient pillow. Of course, she hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the library, surrounded as she was by writing utensils, sticky tabs, and highlighters; she’d meant to study to get her mind off what had transpired in lab, but not twenty minutes into this venture she’d nodded off into a deep slumber.

It was unclear for how long she slept, but it must have been for some time because the next she knew someone was carefully trying to rouse her.


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She sat up with a start, nearly ripping the textbook page that had stuck to her forearm. Her eyes were bleary, her curly hair even more unkempt than usual.

“My apologies,” a subtly accented voice sounded from above her. “It wasn’t my intention to scare you.”

Gemma felt her skin grow hot, a condition that was only worsened when she dared to glance upward and caught a pair of familiar umber eyes appraising her from behind blue and black framed glasses. Ashton.

“The staff is about to close the library for the night,” he informed her when she didn’t respond.

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“Thank you,” Gemma mumbled awkwardly. She lowered her head, hastening to collect her belongings.

“Not a problem,” Ashton replied. He remained for a second longer, during which Gemma surmised he was debating saying something more, but he must have decided against it because it was then that he turned to go.

She cautiously peered at him, watching as he slowed his steps to check the clock mounted high on the wall. He really was handsome. Handsome, intelligent, and kind. Far kinder than she felt she ever deserved.

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Ashton disappeared around the corner. His conclusive absence made her heart sink for reasons she didn’t understand, a sensation that lingered as she gathered the last of her highlighters and stuffed them into her bag along with everything else.

It wasn’t as if she knew him—not really, anyway.

It wasn’t as if she wanted to know him.

Not really.


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Maybe she ought to have been kinder. Maybe she ought to have said something more despite the awkwardness she felt at the desire. She must have come across as cold. She’d certainly been cold to him the one night they’d spent together—she’d fled before sunrise and never spoke to him again despite, perhaps, wanting to do so.


Awful, Kelsey’s voice whispered in her ear. Just…awful.

Gemma picked up the pace, nearly bowling Ashton over as she swept past him and out into the night. She needed to get home.

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Her hurried footsteps had her making good time, but not even a third of the way into her journey she caught sight of a familiar figure exiting the pool facility ahead. The brunette wavered, debating arcing around the building to avoid being seen, but then, on a potentially stupid impulse, hurried up to him instead.


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The tall young man turned in her direction, a look of mild surprise crossing his features as she halted before him. He smelled like cigarette smoke and chlorine, small beads of water hanging precariously off the tips of his jet-black hair. The droplets shimmered in the light of the streetlamps, making them a distracting sight. He must have been training. Gemma could vaguely recall him saying something about being on the swim team. Evidently, he hadn’t lied.

“You know, when you told me we might meet up again some time I assumed that was your way of saying we never would,” Takashi commented.

“Yes, well,” Gemma mumbled, shuffling her feet.

He smiled wryly, reaching for his back pocket and pulling out a carton of cigarettes which he rapped twice against his palm before drawing one out and placing it between his lips. “Smoke?” he asked, proffering the pack.

Gemma shook her head. “No, and I would prefer it if you didn’t smoke one around me either.”

Takashi’s dark eyes met hers for an uncomfortably long moment, but then he took the cigarette from his mouth with two fingers and returned it to the carton.

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“It’s curious that you smoke when you’re on the swim team,” Gemma couldn’t help but point out.

“It’s curious that you’re talking to me when you made it clear you didn’t wish for our paths to cross again,” he countered, pocketing the cigarettes. “So, what do you want?”

Gemma hesitated. She hadn’t expected Takashi to have taken her rejection so sourly, though she suspected it was more about his wounded pride than any real interest in her. He likely hadn’t thought of her before she’d called his name.

She licked her lips and finally managed to ask, “Did you tell anyone that we slept together?”

“Tell anyone….” he echoed pensively, glancing up at the sky. “I guess I did, but I never mentioned your name and it was only to a couple friends.” He met her gaze, subtly arching one eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

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“No particular reason,” Gemma answered inanely. She lowered her eyes and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She had already figured that Takashi hadn’t said anything and that Kelsey’s conclusions were based solely on them leaving together, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself from asking anyway. Perhaps she was still looking for sense in a conflict that thus far, had made no sense at all. If that was the case though, she hadn’t found that here.

“You look like crap,” Takashi observed, jolting Gemma from her thoughts.

“How kind of you to say,” she coolly replied, and then added in a mutter, “I fell asleep in the library.”

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Takashi abruptly grasped Gemma’s chin and forced her head up to catch the light. “Is that how you got this?” he asked, studying the scratch beneath her eye.

Gemma smacked his hand away and took a quick step back. “That’s none of your business!”

He frowned, absently rubbing his hand where she’d hit him. “It is my business if you got that because someone heard about us and gave you shit for it. I assume that’s why you asked? I don’t know why else you would.”

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“As I said, it’s none of your—”

“Yes, it is,” Takashi insisted, impatient. “After all, if someone’s going after the women I sleep with and that gets around, it’s not exactly good for me, is it?”

Gemma scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “I’m not going to risk this person getting even angrier with me all because you’re in danger of missing out on potential sex.”

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“So, someone did give you shit.”

Gemma cringed inwardly and clenched her jaw.

“I could take care of the person, you know,” Takashi quietly offered. “‘Her,’ I assume, but correct me if I’m wrong.”

“What would you do?”

“Drug her and dump her into the nearest river,” he replied, and then snorted in incredulity. “I’d talk to her. Obviously. What kind of person do you think I am?”

“I don’t know,” Gemma pointed out. “You did just grab my face like an asshole.”

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Takashi clicked his tongue, reaching for his cigarettes again and this time pulling one out and lighting it. He brought it to his lips, taking a draw from it and then languidly exhaling so the smoke curled as it floated upward in the night. “I could easily find out.”

“Then by all means do so.”

“Gemma, Gemma,” he lamented, flicking glowing ashes onto the pavement. “I liked you better when you didn’t say much—when all you wanted was to give me what I wanted.”

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Gemma jolted; any potential retort knocked far from her grasps. She felt as though she’d been struck again, only this time it hurt far more than any frivolous encounter outside a science lab. The wind kicked up, frigid and turbulent. Her eyes began to burn as they filled with unshed tears. She hoped that Takashi would attribute it to the cold.

“It’s that redhead, isn’t it?” he asked casually, oblivious. “She’s been eyeing me hopefully for weeks, and she was at the bar that night too.”

Gemma didn’t respond. Her head felt hazy with fog, her entire being sluggish. She wanted to sink into the earth and suffocate. It already felt like she was.

“All I need is a confirmation,” he said in a sing-song voice, leaning forward.

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“Fuck you!” Gemma snapped.

Takashi released a short, incredulous laugh. “I’m trying to help you. You’re lucky you’re so pretty.”

“And you’re lucky I don’t hit you again! Fuck! Forget it! I never asked for your help!

“Alright, alright,” Takashi attempted to soothe, raising his hands. “Calm down. I know you didn’t ask—I’m sincerely offering.”

“Well, I don’t want your help! I don’t want anything from you!” she shouted, fists clenching at her sides. A group of students walking on the other side of the street slowed to stare at them.

Takashi took notice and tossed his cigarette onto the ground, crushing it beneath his shoe. “Fine, fuck, whatever. Have it your way, but if you change your mind you apparently know where to find me.”

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Gemma looked away; her arms folded tightly across her chest. She felt Takashi’s gaze on her as he hesitated, but soon he turned to go, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he made his way down the path. The students across the way resumed their evening walk too.

Unwilling to take the same route, she looped around the building after all. His words were like threads of glass woven into her skin. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She made herself keep walking.

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I liked you better when you didn’t say much.

You’re cold and uncaring and I fucking hate you!

You’re lucky you’re pretty.

That’s just how she is.

Awful…just awful.

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Gemma made it to her house, slamming the door behind her and collapsing to the floor. The lights were off. Augustus wasn’t here. Even if he was asleep, he would have left the porch light on for her. She really wished he was here.

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She took her backpack off her shoulders, fumbling to unzip the front pocket and then taking out her phone. Her vision was blurred with tears as she scrolled through her contacts, but she still managed to find who she was looking for. She tapped the entry and the phone began to ring…once…twice. It kept ringing. Gemma shut her eyes tightly. The first tears escaped. Please, please.

After the fifth ring the phone picked up, a warm and cheerful voice answering, “Hey, baby girl! How’re doing?”

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Gemma felt what little remained of her resolve collapse upon hearing her mother’s voice. She sounded so happy to hear from her, and all Gemma could do was sob as if she were a small child again.

“I’m s-so sorry!” she cried miserably. “I’m t-trying to be like you. To be as brave and strong as you are, but I keep failing and I don’t know what to do! I don’t—”

“Breathe, honey,” her mother gently interrupted, her tone laden with concern. “You already are. Braver even. Stronger. My perfect baby girl. Where are you right now?”

“Home,” she answered with another sob.

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“Breathe,” her mother repeated, and Gemma finally did, drawing in deep breaths as her mom murmured reassurances, just as Augustus would. Or rather, Augustus always did the same as their mother. How many times had they seen her do this for their father whenever his mind turned against him?

Gemma breathed…. Gemma breathed….

“Mom,” she whispered. “I think I need help.”

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* * * * *


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The room was cold. Outside the window, Augustus could see trees shivering in the frigid gale, leaves and twigs repeatedly kicked up in little whirlwinds that skittered across the ground. The heater clicked on, the whooshing sound of a fire igniting followed by the rush of air through the vents reaching his ears. He could feel the warmth of it upon his skin where he sat, still staring down at the letter gripped in his hands.

Where to start? There was so much that resided within the words he’d read that Augustus felt paralyzed by their weight. His heart rate was at odds with his stillness, racing meters ahead while he stood stunned in the dust.

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Augustus leaned forward, placing the letter on the coffee table and then turning his head to glance at Patrick beside him. “Your parents,” he tentatively began, “you always made it sound like they’d died in an accident when you were young, and that was why you grew up in foster care.”

“Now how d-did I know you’d mention that first?” Patrick dryly asked.

Augustus raised his brow in question, and Patrick dropped his gaze, a rosy pink coloring his cheeks. “Never mind,” he mumbled. “Sorry. I…I know I a-always said that, but the truth is, I only w-wish that they had.”

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The heater spluttered out, clicked, and kicked in again with a low rumble. Augustus sat back against the couch, his thoughts as cluttered as his surroundings. “I can see why,” he admitted, and then hesitated before asking, “What did you mean when you said you knew I’d mention that first?”

Patrick took a short breath, his focus firmly trained on a set of colored pencils lying by his feet. “J-just that it’s r-really t-t-typical of you to start with the topic that has n-n-nothing to do with you. You b-barely ever talk about yourself. Nothing serious anyway. N-not to me.”

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“That’s not—”

“Not true?” Patrick interrupted hollowly. “I think it is, and I c-c-can’t help but wonder why. W-whether it’s because you don’t trust me enough or b-because you don’t feel like I can handle it and you’re trying to p-protect me or something, or…I don’t know, but…I’m one to talk, right?” He drew a shaky breath, his granite eyes overly bright.

“I’ve k-k-kept so much from you because I d-didn’t want you to think differently of me; didn’t want to m-m-mess things up between us and I have anyway.” Patrick smiled wanly, his voice tremulous as he continued, “After all, h-how can I expect you to share things with me when I’ve b-barely shown I’m capable of hearing it? How can I expect you to share things with m-me when I’ve barely shared anything with you?”

“This isn’t your fault,” Augustus said, feeling quite stunned. “You haven’t messed anything up. If it’s like you said and I’m being overprotective or don’t trust you enough, then those are my problems, not yours. It’s my shit to sort through and it has nothing to do with what you are or aren’t doing.”

“Yeah, but m-m-maybe if I w-weren’t so—”

“No, Pat. You’ve only ever made me happy. You’re always sweet and encouraging and—”

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Patrick let out an unexpected sob, covering his face with his hands as his body shook. “I f-f-feel like I’m l-l-losing you. It’s what a-always happens. P-p-people get f-fed up with me and—”

“Not me,” Augustus hastened to say. He pushed the coffee table back and slid off the couch to kneel before him. “Not me, okay? Where’s this coming from? You’re not losing me.”

“I d-don’t know. I just feel it. I f-feel you slipping away and I d-d-don’t know what to do.”

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“Then…then that’s my fault and I need to do better, okay?” Augustus gently tugged Patrick’s hands away from his face and then cradled it between his palms as he held his boyfriend’s gaze. “Listen, you’re not losing me. I’m not slipping away.”

Patrick pressed his lips together, fresh tears shimmering upon his reddened cheeks. Augustus dried them with his thumbs and then let his hands fall to his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him to the edge of the couch and enfolding him in an embrace. He responded by wrapping his arms around Gus’ neck, his breaths ragged as he held him as tightly as he could.

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“I love you,” Patrick whispered.

The unexpected words resonated in Gus’ ears, but somehow failed to process, leaving him frozen mid-breath. He tried to speak, tried to return them, but felt his tongue lock-up as if he’d never learned to talk at all. His throat felt swollen, his eyes abruptly stinging. He adored Patrick, he did, thought maybe he was everything he could ever want or need, so why couldn’t he—shouldn’t he—didn’t he—? “I—”

“It’s okay,” he said softly, burying his face in Gus’ shoulder. “You d-don’t need to say it back. I j-just love you, and I want us to work.”

Augustus nodded and took a short, shuddering breath. “I want that too,” he rasped.

“Good,” Patrick breathed, and then kissed him; again, and again—kisses like salt water and the ever-rising tide.

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19 thoughts on “Generation 5 Special: Augustus and Gemma IV (Pt. 2 of 2)”

  1. This was well worth the wait! Patrick’s parents can go give some porcupines a deep tissue massage, for all I care. He deserves better. I do want things to work out between him and Augustus. Isaac is great too, so I understand why he’s so conflicted, but I have the same question: why didn’t he ever reach out and at least let August know what happened?
    As for Gemma, first off, she’s not to blame for Kelsey and her crew and their perception of the situation. But I agree she needs help. She seems really depressed and her lifestyle patterns are unhealthy.
    Also, Takashi, while being very handsome, does not seem like such a great guy.

    1. It’s hard to imagine anything is worth a three year wait, but thank you so much for saying so! It really made me smile to hear you say that! ♥

      Man though, that’s truly the least that Patrick’s “parents” deserve, if you can even call them that. He really does deserve better, and he did get that with the last foster family he stayed with. He still keeps in touch with them and they’re certainly much closer to being parents to him than his biological parents ever were.

      It would indeed be nice for things to work out between him and Augustus , but clearly they’ve got some work to do, as this has been an ongoing issue even before Isaac came back in the picture. Isaac’s reappearance only provides some clues into the reasons for them. It’s a question of whether to push to make the extra efforts with Patrick and close the distance between them, or whether to explore giving a second chance to a love that was torn apart before it was allowed to grow. In both cases, it isn’t easy. There’s pain, unresolved feelings, and unanswered questions.

      As Isaac said, it really was difficult to send more than his initial generic message without risking his family kicking him out, and Augustus does understand that, but at the same time, it does feel like there might be more to it…that maybe he could have done more..maybe…so why didn’t he? Maybe it was just fear. Maybe there’s something else too, but mostly, when Augustus asks, “Why didn’t he try harder?” what he’s really thinking is, “I wish he’d tried harder.”

      Also totally completely agree about Gemma! She literally did NOT know about Kelsey’s apparent crush on Takashi and that whole situation is such a shit show now, but underneath all that she has been struggling, and being caught up in something like this is only making everything worse. Like maybe she could manage if nothing particularly negative was happening in her life, but regardless, she shouldn’t have to work so hard to get through a day. Getting some help could certainly make it easier.

      And ahhhhh, yeah, Takashi is….not great. That’s probably a pretty apt descriptor. Like yeah, he’s handsome, intelligent, and athletic, but he’s also petulant and has shit boundaries– very pushy and temperamental when he doesn’t get his way. Not a particularly great person to be involved with. He has some serious growing up to do, to say the least. Let’s hope he does because he really could be a lot better than he is.

      Thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much for reading and commenting by the way! After so long I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from anyone, so the fact that you took the time to come back to this really warms my heart T_T You’re the best, and I hope to be able to continue this momentum and keep writing more! ♥

  2. Oh, hello! What a pleasant surprise to see you back here, long time no see 😊 To be honest, I had forgotten literally everything about this story, so I had to go back for a quick refresher. Forgive me if I’m still a bit lost on what exactly is going on with each character.

    First of all, great writing. You have a way of really bringing through the emotional turmoil of the characters in a tangible way, in detailed and realistic conversations. Lovely visuals, too; it hit me again how cute your sims are — especially Patrick, that adorable bean, I remember why he’s my fave! — and I do love how you decorated Patrick’s apartment, with all the bright arty mess.

    Oh, Gemma 😔 The thoughts that were storming in her head this chapter made me sad. She truly needs help (the one silver lining here is that she realised it at the end). She keeps on being knocked down by bad things and the way she’s reacting to each, it’s clear that everything is just building up more and more, and it’s getting harder for her to stand back up. The people she’s surrounded by are just so toxic; Kelsey and her friends, Takashi as well, he’s the definition of a jackass. I hope that she can distance herself from them and get to know Ashton better — he seems sweet, and kind, and someone who will bring a positive influence to her life.

    I saw my comment on the previous chapter (I can’t believe that was three years ago, I sounded like such a baby haha) and I’m not so sure about Issac anymore, because I love the development Augustus and Patrick got in this chapter. They’re slowly opening up to each other, although Gus has some way to go. What Patrick wrote in the letter truly punched me in the heart. I just want to hug the poor baby tightly, the horrible pain he had to suffer. I only want the best for him, and although Issac is good potential, I want Patrick to be happy, and I think he and Gus would be wonderful supports for each other. They are such a sweet couple.

    Nice chapter ❤

    1. Hello!!! Oh my goodness, no apologies needed at all because I literally had to re-read every single Augustus and Gemma part, including the side story with Augustus and Isaac, to remember enough to continue this and I’m the one who wrote it! I definitely understand forgetting stuff, haha. It means a lot to me that you came back regardless and that you considered this worth refreshing your mind about T__T

      Also, thank you so much!!!! Your comment is seriously so lovely and way more than I expected after being gone for so long. I’m glad I was able to bring my characters to life for you again, both in words and in-game, hehe. I used to absolutely despise decorating, but I suppose it’s grown on me. Still hate building though…I’ll take decorating a shell any day! Haha.

      Gemma’s parts made me really sad too this chapter. I even tear up during that snippet of the conversation with her mom. She’s just been going through so much lately, and maybe if everything was more or less “fine” in her life she’d be able to manage, but to be on such uneasy footing and have all this happen is awful for her. The people she’s surrounded by really are so toxic. It’s no wonder that one of her greatest fears is losing Augustus because he really is the closest person she has in her life. Ashton would be a positive influence, but as of right now she doesn’t quite feel deserving of having someone like him in her life, especially after she sort of ditched him the way she did. Hopefully with some help and encouragement, this will change. I think he’d be open to getting to know her too.

      Also, aww really?! I’ve loved all your comments so far, even the ones from way far back! But I know what you mean about reading past things you’ve written. I’m re-reading Joanne’s generation right now and admittedly cringing sometimes gahhhhh, lol. Things change more than we think they do over the years.

      The feeling of not being sure about Augustus and Isaac, or even Augustus and Patrick, I think, will be common ones in the chapters to come, haha. I’ve noticed that when there’s more focus on Augustus and Isaac, there seem to be more positive feelings on that relationship, but when there’s more focus on Augustus and Patrick, the tide turns again. The fact is that they’re both absolutely fine choices, so…does Augustus work to close the distance between him and Patrick and finally stop holding him at arm’s length, or does he give a second chance to a love that was torn apart before it was ever allowed to grow? Both routes have their allure, and their difficulties. We’ll have to see what happens…even I’ve swung back and forth! (° o°)!

      Thank you again, like…sooooooooooooooooo freaking much for reading and commenting. I know I sound a bit repetitive, but it really does mean a lot to me. Hopefully this motivation stays and I’ll continue writing more in due time! ♥

  3. I might need a refresher for what this story is about, even after rereading pt 1 first Lol! But this chapter was great. Poor Gemma – I hope she can find her way and avoid Takashi at all costs in the future… He feels like bad news. She needs a real friend.

    I loved Patrick here, too. And I feel bad for him that it seems he’s kind of coming in second right now. He deserves the world! Give him the world, damnit!!

    Your writing is awesome too. Overall great chapter and good to have you back!

    1. LOL, you are definitely not alone. When I returned to this I actually started with re-reading Pt. 1 because of course that made sense, but then I was like wait….how did this go? What happened here? So, I went back to their third chapter…and then their second…and then I was finally like omg screw it and re-read all the Augustus and Gemma pieces , yeesh, lol.

      It’s really been too long, so thank you times a million for making the time and effort to come back to this anyway! I’m over the moon that you enjoyed it!

      Gemma does indeed need a real friend, and that person is definitely not Takashi. She knows that too, but she’d hoped to at least find something helpful there and well, there wasn’t 😦 Perhaps there are other people who could fill that space….

      Patrick does deserve the world, he’s absolutely great, which makes Augustus’ difficulties in matching his feelings feel all the more shitty for him. He feels like he SHOULD love Patrick. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t, or at least, why he can’t quite make himself say the words. He’s just not there yet. Whether he gets there or not, remains to be seen….

      Thank you again and thank you so freaking much for reading and commenting! It’s good to BE back. I hope this motivation lasts and that I’m able to write more! ♥

  4. It was at the point where Gemma and Kelsey were fighting that I’m like ok I need to know what happens next right this second lol. (Reading on tumblr)

    Gosh this is so good, your writing really portrays emotions very well and my heart hurt for Gemma when she broke down crying to call her mom, and when Patrick explained in the letter about what his parents did to him they can go jump off a cliff like wow screw them.
    Augustus and Patrick are very cute, and Takashi maaan I kinda felt scared for Gemma when they where talking like wow.

    Great chapter

    1. Thank you so much!!! It really made me happy to hear that reading what has already posted on Tumblr made you want to rush over here to find out what happens, haha. In general, hearing that I’ve written something people actually want to read is like “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” so I’m over the moon, lol.

      Thank you again T_T I’m glad I was able to make you feel for these characters, even after it’s been so long. That scene when Gemma breaks down crying to call her mom always gets to me too. I’d get teary-eyed even after proofreading it for the tenth time, heh. And that letter too, oh my god. So many rewrites and conveying all that was never any easier. What Patrick went through was awful. They can absolutely jump off a cliff. It’s no wonder Patrick wishes they had.

      He and Augustus are indeed really cute, haha. Their relationship has always been sweet, if a bit superficial and surface level, but more and more, that isn’t enough. We’ll have to see if this effort on Patrick’s part to bring them closer ends up being successful, or whether he’s already lost (・_・ヾ

      Totally agree too about Gemma’s conversation with Takashi, omg. I felt uneasy just writing it, and whenever I see that photo when Takashi grabs her face I literally want to slap him and yell at him to get off of her. We hopefully won’t be seeing him much more >.<

      Thank you again, and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! It made my night ♥

  5. OMG I’m so glad you returned to give us this fantastic chapter. It’s bittersweet to be sure though. I feel Gemma so much!! Poor Girl!! It’s a harsh reality when you start to see yourself the way others do. Sad that her only friends are her family and that she feels so alone. Takashi hit a nerve I think and a not so pleasant one. I do hope she doesn’t see him again but I have a feeling that whole scene is going to come up again and she better watch out. I’m crossing my fingers that runs into that guy at the library again. He seemed nice. I have a feeling that anyone else would have just left her there without waking her and telling her the library was closing.

    Poor Patrick!! What awful parents!! He no doubt is still affected by what they did to him. It has to still hurt and I don’t blame him for wishing them dead in a car accident! They deserve far worse! I’m glad he took the imitative to talk to Gus about this and it’s sad that they don’t seem to talk about anything of much substance. In a way Patrick has valid concerns about Gus slipping away from him. I felt that even before Isaac came into the picture.

    Going back to Isaac I do see why Gus feels he could have tried harder to contact him but at the same time I understand why he didn’t. He was caught between his feeling for his parents and for Gus. Being told what you are and how you feel is wrong is devastating to anyone but even worse for a teenager. Even when your want your independence you still want your parents love and support and you want them to be proud of you. So he bowed to the pressure.

    I kind of feel that before Gus can truly commit to Patrick he has to find closure with Isaac. The whole not being able to say I love you back to Patrick is very telling. I think he owes it to himself to figure out who he wants before he decides one way or the other. I think Patrick is adorable but there’s unfinished business with Isaac.

    Welcome back! I’ve missed you! Your story telling is awesome!

    1. CRYING A BIT BECAUSE THIS COMMENT IS SO NICE FDHFKDHFKSJHFKS. Thank you!!!!!! I’m over the moon that you enjoyed it! It is definitely a bittersweet chapter though. It’s a low for Gemma, but it’s also hopefully a turning point as she finally realizes she’s not doing so well and could use some additional help. She really does feel lonely, especially as she gets older and realizes that although her family will always be there, things do change—her parents are more involved in their careers now that most of their kids are grown, and her siblings themselves will also start their own lives so their presence in hers will gradually lessen. It leaves her realizing that beyond them, she doesn’t have anyone else, and that is a very lonely feeling for her. Add to that the fact that people don’t even seem to like her very much and it all feels rather miserable 😦

      Hopefully she will run into Ashton again! He is really nice. Just a little…not entirely comfortable navigating social situations, so he’s also not entirely sure how to talk to Gemma even though, like her, he would also like to get to know her…. He’s just, not sure how, especially since Gemma never really spoke to him again after they hooked up and that kind of seemed like a clear sign she wasn’t interested. Eep 😡 They’ve been doing wideeeee circles around each other. Hopefully we’ll start to see those circles close a bit 🙂

      As for Takashi, he’s an asshole, but as long as Gemma steers away from him he shouldn’t be too much of a problem, hopefully. Like, he’s all petulant and bitter that Gemma doesn’t want anything to do with him and doesn’t want his help, but if she says she doesn’t want it then fine, I guess. He’ll just go brood over there, lol. I suppose what does need to be watched would be if Gemma goes to him again only because she really is that lonely and he did offer…that wouldn’t be good for her. Ashton shares a lot more in common with her, and despite what Gemma feels right now, she IS deserving of someone like him.

      Poor Patrick indeed 😦 He likes to think that it barely affects him anymore, but it obviously does, as you said, and a large part of him does realize that, but he’s trying very hard to keep moving forward. And he has made progress. Lots of it, even if he isn’t quite at the level he’d like to be. It’s good he finally shared this with Augustus as he’s always been pretty afraid of rocking the boat with him, but as time passes he’s realizing that he has to—that a lasting, deeply meaningful relationship, can’t subsist on superficial things forever. So, this is his gamble really. His jump into deep waters. Either it works out for him, and they come out as the stronger couple he wants them to be, or it doesn’t…and maybe it was never going to work out in the first place. It’s a bitter pill to accept, and one Patrick is hoping he won’t have to take. He loves Augustus, and as he said, really wants them to work.

      I’m completely on board with your take on Isaac’s experiences. He was indeed caught between his feelings for his parents, and for Gus, and it was a completely shit decision he never should have had to make. He was scared and hated himself, and desperately wanted his parents love and acceptance not only because they’re his family, but also because maybe he could come to accept himself too. He wanted them to be proud of him, as you said. He still does. He goes out of his way to try and gain that, each and every day. And though he doesn’t bow to the pressure quite as deeply as he did then, it’s still there, keeping his head down.

      Augustus does understand this, but at the same time, ever since Gemma brought it up he can’t quite get it out of his head. Mostly though I think he’s mixing up, “Why didn’t Isaac try harder?” with “I wish this situation had gone differently.” He wishes Isaac HAD been able to reach out to him. He wishes they’d never been separated in the first place. But he’s not quite there. There are so many hurt and confused feelings he has regarding Isaac—he’s barely begun to acknowledge them, and it’s holding him back, which is particularly apparent in his relationship with Patrick. As you aptly pointed out, before Gus can truly commit to Patrick he does have to find that closure with Isaac. Hell, he even has to work it out if he decides to move forward with Isaac instead—otherwise he’ll always hold onto those hurt feelings.

      Thank you again, and thank you sincerely from the tips of my toes to the top of my head for reading this and commenting! It seriously means so much, especially since I was gone for too long this time. I’ve missed being here!!! I hope this motivation stays and I can continue to tell these stories 🙂 Thank you! ♥

  6. So glad to have you back! *sends bearhuuugs*

    Life sometimes can be a b*tch and throws loops over loops at you. All you need is enough time to get you through everything. This being said, I really hope things will go smoothly for you from now on.

    Honestly, I never have given up on this story and loved to re-read it over and over again during your hiatus, always hoping you’d pop up one day again. My hubby shot me worried glances when I let out a fan-girlish scream finding your email today, lol.
    Sincerely, thank you for coming back. ❤

    Ok, now I'm on my way to read this chapter. 🙂

    1. Wahhhhhhhhhhh! Thank you!!!! *SENDS A BUNCH OF BEAR HUGS AND FLOATY HEARTS BACK*

      INDEED. I really hope things go smoothly from now on too. I am continuing to write, so…that’s a good sign, right?!

      I can’t express enough how much it warmed my heart to read that you’ve never given up on this story, and that you’ve even read it multiple times! I thought I was the only one who’s done that, lol. Seriously though, even I wasn’t sure if I’d ever come back to this, so the fact that you kept hope alive all this time has me turning into a puddle of emotions o(;△;)o Thank YOU for still being here after all this time.

      I sincerely hope that you enjoyed the update, and that you’ll be able to enjoy another update within a reasonable time frame! I’m definitely working on it. Thank you again so much ♥

  7. I can’t believe you’re back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy to see you! You know what, I was kicked out of my Tumblr account maybe two years ago and never succeeded in getting it back, even if I did e-mail the support several times. I lost contact with several people that way and I feel bad if someone ever wrote to me. Also, tbh. I don’t really follow the sims community anymore, but I still love the Winters, AND I did actually remember the beef between Gemma & Kelsey! Didn’t even have to read up and refresh my memeory, how about that! My memory of Augustus & Patrick was a bit more foggy but it came back to me when I started reading. Patrick does deserve a real chance! It was brave of him to write that letter.

    Takashi, what an absolute dick! Even if Kelsey seems really awful she deserves better. I wish she understood that Takashi really isn’t worth her time. I can’t believe that she asked Gemma if she fucked her professor. Such a toxic POV, to only ever see other women as competition. That there’s no loyalty between men and women based on friendship. Makes me sad, really. Also, how can she even have friends?? Seems to me that Kelsey is the one who would end up alone, but then again, it’s Gemma’s POV. Who knows, maybe Kelsey is nicer than she seems, although I doubt it…

    I need more chapters!!!

    1. I can’t believe I’m back either!!!!!!!!! I’m so happy to be here, and so happy that you’re still here! After seeing that your last post was in April, I wasn’t sure if you were, so seeing this comment from you seriously made my day! That totally sucks about your Tumblr- that site has been through so many changes and it seems a lot got broken along the way. I think it’s somewhat stable again now, but yeesh.

      Absolutely touched though that even though you don’t follow the Sims community anymore, you still enjoy the Winters and even remembered some things!!! Especially after so much time? FDHJFKSDSFFSJF *ATTACK HUGS*

      It was indeed very brave of Patrick to write that letter, especially because he initially withheld a lot of that information because he didn’t want Augustus to think differently of him and/or somehow mess up their relationship, and now he’s sharing it…now, when he feels that their relationship is at the most danger of dissolving. It’s his final gamble really. Either it works out and their relationship both deepens and strengthens, or…it doesn’t, and maybe it was never going to work out in the first place. At least he’ll know that he tried.

      Takashi is definitely a dick, ughhhh. Like I tried to hint at that petulant, want it my way attitude he has, but it really comes to focus in this scene. He’s not a great person and honestly, even though Kelsey has a lot of growing up to do and is quite nasty herself, you’re totally right that she deserves better. She’s absolutely wasting her energy on him….and on tormenting Gemma. As you pointed out, she’s just seeing Gemma as competition, which is particularly ass because hello, here you have two really smart women who’ve been selected to volunteer in one of the most prestigious labs on campus with a prestigious professor, and instead of working together as colleagues, Kelsey’s tearing Gemma down every chance she gets. And yes, she’s angry, but damn…she isn’t even trying to listen. Gemma didn’t know she liked Takashi, and even if she did….at some point…you kind of have to let it go to some extent. Takashi too has a mind of his own and makes his own choices. It’s all just a dramatic mess during a time Gemma’s already been struggling. Bleh 😦

      As for Kelsey having friends, I suppose it’s like, as long as you’re on her good side, she’s perfectly friendly and sweet, but as soon as you get on her bad side you’re trash and she’ll treat you as such. Totally black-and-white thinking that doesn’t serve her well at all, and will likely come to bite her in the ass time and time again. Both Takashi and Kelsey have a lot of reflecting and growing up to do…just…not with each other, hopefully. They’d only make each other worse. I wish Kelsey saw that too.

      Thank you so much again!!!! I’m actually working on a Joanne update, which is completely insane to me because it’s been 5 years since I’ve posted one for her story. The twins will be in it too so we can see them a little during their winter break, but it’ll all be from Joanne’s POV. Finally! Lol. Fingers crossed I get it done and that I can indeed share more!!!! ♥

  8. Awww, damn. I didn’t know Gemma was so lonely, like hearing her thoughts about it really put it into perspective. Poor girl. *hugs her* Yasss, Gemma, put the fear of God into Kelsey. Dig those fingernails! Get it, girl! LOL. I am all about people standing up to their bullies, to this day I still believe that is the best way to get the bully to back off. No bully likes looking like a giant wuss, it goes against their bully nature. Hahaha.
    *faints from the sight of Dr. Saint* *understands why people sleep with their professors* Also, I love that Sim hair, it’s so perfect. I have it too and it appears to be gorgeous on every male Sim. LOL. Paahaha, and then seconds after I type what I did, Kelsey mentions fucking professors. ROFL. It is interesting, this dynamic now, when Kelsey says how she felt, it’s like, who’s actually the bully? I don’t think it’s clear in this case anymore. Love it. It’s so truthful, things aren’t black and white, like, ever. I still like Gemma clawing Kelsey though LOL. Awww Gemma, I’ll be your friend. *hugs again*

    *dies again from Augustus* You know what? I’m just going to type from the floor. These male sims man, just have me falling all over the place. Patrick gains my respect a little more in this chapter, LOL, so sorry Patrick, it’s not that you’re bad, I just don’t like your personality that much. BUT. This letter he wrote, he’s smart to know that him having a conversation about it would take forever, so he’s using his strengths to talk about important things. Respect, Patrick. Yikes. His parents. Just like Isaac’s parents, hitting him for no reason. *slaps both sets of parents, lights them on fire*

    Takashi is good at those burning comebacks. “It’s curious that you’re talking to me when you made it clear you didn’t wish for our paths to cross again.” BURN. He’s entertaining. LOL. Pahaha “drug her and dump her in the river,” LOL.

    Awww, as much as I am always Team Isaac through and through, I enjoyed the insight Patrick’s letter gave me, and Augustus too! I think Augustus was cute at the end giving Patrick the comfort, but I still feel like Augustus’ heart isn’t quite in it. I wonder if Augustus will figure himself out in that department… 😀 Great update, once again, LilyShadow. ❤

    1. Ahh, yes…. The bullying obviously sucks and makes everything worse, but the loneliness is really at the core of it all. She’s struggled to form connections with anyone outside of her family, and while for the most part her family has been enough, the older she gets the more she realizes that although she’ll probably always stay close with her family, everyone’s eventually going to start their own lives—lives she won’t be a part of 100% of the time. Her siblings will move out, get jobs, get married, start their own families, and she’ll visit, of course she will, but who will she have between those visits? Who will she talk to over countless dinners, countless nights? Who will she see in the morning and look forward to seeing at the end of a day? She used to feel like this didn’t matter really, but the reason it didn’t feel like it mattered is because she’s always had someone—she’s always had Augustus. They were brought into this world together and have never lived apart since…but eventually, they will. And Gus will always be there for her, but he won’t always be there. So, who will be? The realization that she has no answers is alone enough to crack even her strong resolve.

      Gahh, got a bit deep into it there *wipes tears* I’d like to give her a big hug too! But LOL yes, I’m generally not a proponent for being the first one to punch, so to speak, but fuck if someone is kicking you down, you have every right to defend yourself, SO YES DIG THOSE FINGERNAILS, LOL. STAND UP. Not always possible, I know, but if you can, DO IT. Things are a bit complicated with Gemma and Kelsey though, aren’t they? I’m glad you noticed that! Like, Kelsey is definitely taking this WAY too far, but it’s not as if Gemma hasn’t hurt her too. I love making things not quite so simple…as you said, in life things are rarely black and white.

      LOLLLLL though, I literally laughed out loud at the thought of you typing from the floor! Many attractive sims here, lmao. And yes, more complications….Patrick really isn’t a bad guy at all. If he was, it would be such a simple decision. Fact is though, he’s sweet and thoughtful, and yeah painfully shy and awkward, but also stronger than he seems. Respect, indeed! And omg, so on board for lighting both sets of parents on fire too! They’re awful. Well, I suppose Isaac’s parents are technically trying to be better now, but blehhhhhhhh. They’re still not great.

      TAKASHI. YES. He’s very clever actually, lol. He’s sort of…hmm…like you wouldn’t want to try and depend on him for emotional support or start a relationship with him or anything because he really is an asshole, but maybe you’d like to get a beer with him or something because he’s funny, lol. Probably though, hanging out with him any more than that would get irritating. The guy’s got shit boundaries and he’s very petulant when he doesn’t get his way. Takashi has some growing up to do. In the meantime, we can appreciate his comebacks, lmao.

      Hehe, a loyal member of Team Isaac, but it’s certainly understandable why so many are on Team Patrick. And Augustus does like him very much, but there is a disconnect. Patrick feels it too. It’s why he wrote this letter—as a last-ditch effort to try and bring things out in the open and bring them closer together. But in the end, is that truly what Augustus wants? I suppose we’ll have to wait and see 😉

      Thank you again, and thank you again like a bazillion times for reading and commenting! I’ve been over the moon dancing about because of it, haha. You’re the best! ♥

  9. Hiya!!! Long time no chat! I was honestly so surprised to see the email stating that you’d posted a new chapter. I really love this story and I missed it a ton! I didn’t really have time to sit down and read and comment til now (being a father of 2 under 2), but I’m glad I have other chapters to read to get caught up on.

    This chapter was pretty heavy. It really sucks what Gemma is going through. The bullying is definitely not her fault (and it isn’t any victim of bullying’s fault), but it sucks that she allow herself to be challenged socially and actually made some friends. Then she wouldn’t have to struggle with feeling alone. I’m glad she called her mom, maybe this will be the start of actively making good decisions for herself in the long run.

    Yeesh. Poor Patrick. I can’t imagine having parents like that. It’s absolutely horrible. Car accident is too generous. It honestly makes me sad that Augustus is having a hard time and can’t fully commit to Patrick. I’m always going to root for an existing relationship over ‘possibilities’, but if Augustus can’t figure it out, then I believe that Patrick deserves better. This isn’t a diss against Augustus, but I just think he needs to figure it out and make a decision. Otherwise he’s going to keep himself, Isaac, and Patrick in a weird limbo.

    I have to admit though, that if Augustus and Patrick don’t work out, I would prefer it be because they realize they don’t work, not because Gus wants to try it out with someone new/old. Hope that makes sense.

    Great chapter. I’m excited to dive back into the Winters. Reading this does make me want to try to write again for the Lee Legacy, but I honestly haven’t touched the story, or sims 3 in literal years… I do miss Brian though… Anyway! Enough about me! I’m off to the next chapter

    1. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HI!!!!! You have no idea how happy I felt when I saw your screen name pop up in my emails!!! I’ve missed you too!!! Seriously, whenever I think back to the old core group of readers and writers I kept in touch with, I always remember you, so it means a lot that you’ve come back—even more so considering you’re a dad of 2 kids under 2 now!!!! YOU AND JAX ARE SERIOUS CHAMPS ♥ Those are two full-time jobs right there :O The fact that you’ve made time for this (to not only read it but comment too!?!?) is seriously awesome and I can’t thank you enough!

      It really was a heavy chapter. What Gemma is going through is awful and as you said it’s definitely not her fault. Yes, Kelsey’s upset with her, and we can see why, but that doesn’t make it right for her to do ANY of the things she’s doing now. She’s clearly taken it too far, and with Gemma not having any friends (other than her family, who obviously aren’t in the lab with her), she’s left alone to deal with the incessant bullying. All she wants is for Kelsey to leave her alone, but Kelsey seems determined to continue making Gemma’s life miserable…a particularly awful thing when she’s already been struggling without that added onto everything else. It makes her feel even lonelier, and as we’ve seen that often leads her to not making great decisions for herself. Hopefully with some extra support, she’ll be able to find her way out of this. Also, Kelsey obviously needs to back wayyyyy the heck off, lol. Yeesh.

      Man, Patrick, I know. I seriously couldn’t fathom EVER treating your own child (or any child!?) like that, but here we are, and it happens in real life too. It is genuinely sad that Augustus is having difficulties connecting with Patrick. It’s like, you want so bad for it to work out because of course in particular you want to see Patrick happy after all he’s been through, but if Augustus can’t figure it out, it’s as you said—Patrick deserves better. He deserves to be loved the way he wants to be loved, and to have the deeper connection that he and Augustus currently lack.

      So, what you said absolutely makes sense, and that’s what we’re dealing with here. Even without the added complication of Isaac returning, the fact remains that Gus has been holding Patrick at an arm’s length, so to speak. He enjoys his company and being with him, but prefers keeping the relationship surface level and happy. He also doesn’t feel too comfortable opening up to Patrick, which Patrick really wants him to do. It’s not about Gus being frivolous and wanting to try something new or anything like that. It’s more him really needing to sit down and think about why it is he keeps Patrick at arm’s length, why it is that he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to him or taking their relationship to the next level, and whether these reasons are something he wants to, or even can, work on.

      Maybe it’s that they’re simply not a good fit! Maybe it’s that Gus never really did move on from loving Isaac. Maybe it’s a little of both. It’s something Augustus needs to figure out, and then he needs to decide, does he want (and can he) fully commit to Patrick and take the steps he needs to in order to make that happen…or does he give a second chance to a young love that was lost—a love he may not have ever truly let go of? In the end, neither decision is easy or straightforward. With both, there’s a lot to work through. With Patrick it’s about finding a way to connect, and with Isaac there’s a lot of hurt and it was so many years ago that it’s not clear whether what they had then could even be found again. So, can he connect with Patrick? Does he want to? Is Isaac even the same person and is another attempt at their relationship worth it when he already has one that, at least up to now, he’s been content with? What works? What doesn’t? What does Augustus want? O__O That, indeed, he needs to figure out….and sooner, rather than later, hopefully.

      Thank you so much again!!!!!!!!! If you wrote again for the Lee Legacy I’d definitely read it, but I also totally understand the difficulties of returning to it—not only getting back into the groove of writing the story, but also finding the time to do it. Either way, I’m really happy you’re here, and hope you continue to enjoy these new updates! ♥

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